That is not who I am now.
*****
Levi told me that Tane has been hanging out with him and Gage, catching up any chance they can get. I have no idea how to process that. Is he going to stick around this time? What do I tell him? It’s so embarrassing to admit what happened that night. He’s acting as though he doesn’t remember. Is that even possible?
Well, this is Tane …
I can’t let it go on any longer. He and I need to have a chat.
He deserves to know he has a son.
The library has ten minutes until closing time, so I finish putting away the last of the returned books. Gage told me to come over straight after work for dinner and movies. Parker is already there, since Gage picked him up from kindergarten. Owning their own business, Gage and Levi enjoy a level of flexibility that I could only dream of. They really are a godsend. Without them, I’d have to put Parker in day-care some afternoons. Besides being insanely expensive, I just wouldn’t want to do that. It makes me feel much better to know that he is with family.
I finish up and close the library. Heading to my car, I get the absolute shock of my life when I see Tane leaning against it, staring right at me. He’s dressed casually in fitted jeans and a t-shirt that gently clings to his toned chest. I can’t even deny it. He looks delicious. I’ve always been attracted to him. I guess that’s just something that’s never going to change.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him angrily, digging through my handbag for my keys.
“I just wanted to talk to you, alone,” he says, his eyes raking over me. I’m dressed professionally in a knee-length black skirt and a white blouse. My hair is pulled back away from my face, pinned in a severe bun, and the only makeup I’m wearing is mascara and baby-pink lipstick.
“How did you know I would be here?” I frown.
“Gage told me you work here. Any more questions?” he asks in a sarcastic tone.
“I don’t think you want to go there,” I say wryly. I cross my arms, impatiently waiting for him to tell me whatever it is that is so important that it required him to come to my work.
“Look, I’m sorry I left and didn’t contact you. But I never forgot you, Giselle. Never,” he says, his eyes begging mine. I wanted to hear those words for so long. I wanted him to turn up and reassure me and tell me how much he loved me. But I stopped that after I had Parker. I will not allow myself to be weak because of Tane ever again.
I’ve already given him so much of me and gotten nothing in return.
“Okay,” I respond. Nothing he says will make what he did better. Nothing.
“And I’m sorry about Keira. I had no idea she was Levi’s sister, and I sure as hell never expected you to see anything like that,” he says, looking down.
“Why? We all know you get around, Tane. It’s a bit late to play coy,” I tell him sharply, finally finding my keys and pulling them out.
“You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?” he says under his breath.
“Should I?” I ask him.
“Giselle, just … come here, please?” he begs, as he steps closer to me and pulls me into his arms. I can’t help but relax into his body after a moment, closing my eyes and allowing myself to pretend; pretend that this is Tane, my old Tane. Not this new person who has inhabited his body.
“You’re beautiful, but I liked you before, too, you know. Just as you were. You’ve always been perfect to me,” he almost whispers into my ear. “I missed you.” I pull away. It’s all too much.
“Just don’t, Tane,” I say, raising my hand to stop him from continuing. “Why are you suddenly back?”
“I’m taking a little breather,” he says ambiguously. His hands run up my back, causing me to shiver. I take another step back, out of his arm’s reach.
“For how long?” I ask him.
“Six months, possibly longer,” he replies.
“I see,” I drawl.
“So, you have a kid,” he says, his tone light, but the sudden stillness in his body gives away his tension.
“I do.”
What else am I supposed to say? When I realize Tane is silent, I look up at him, to see him staring at the ground.
“Where is his father?” he asks frankly, his fingers tightening their grip on me. He looks up at me intently, waiting for my answer.
Now it’s my turn to stiffen. “Not in the picture.” I pull away from his embrace.
“I want a name,” he bites out harshly.
“What for?” I ask, now suspicious.
“Because no one hurts you,” he says it like a threat.
I can’t help the cold laugh that escapes me. “That’s rich.”