“Come on then, buddy, I’ll make you a snack. Your mum said she’ll bring us dinner on her way home from work,” I tell him, standing up and heading into the kitchen. He follows behind me. I turn and lift him up onto the chair, kissing the top of his head before I walk away. I pull out some celery, carrots, cheese, and crackers, and put them on the table, then start to cut up the vegetables.
“I don’t like celery,” Parker says, sticking his tongue out.
“This is what your mum told me to give you,” I reply, frowning a little. Maybe I heard wrong?
“Mum makes me eat it,” he grumbles, his little face falling. He really is too damn cute. I don’t know how anyone says no to him at all.
I grin at him. “Maybe you can just eat the carrots instead.”
He grins back at me. “Okay.”
“I’ll eat the celery,” I tell him with a wink. I love playing co-conspirator.
“Good,” Parker replies, nodding his head sagely. “It’ll make you big and strong. That’s what Mama says.”
I chuckle at the seriousness of his tone. Fuck, I love this little boy. He looks so small next to me. I bought him a bed and turned the bedroom next to mine into something similar to what I had when I was a child, with blue walls and a racetrack on the floor. It took hours to finish it all, but his squeal of excitement when he saw it makes all the effort worthwhile.
Now I just need to make it so I deserve him.
And his mother.
*****
I ignore Gage’s unhappy look and walk past him into the apartment. I see Levi sitting on the couch, sipping on a beer and watching the footy. He narrows his eyes on me when he sees me, his lips tightening. They both aren’t happy, that’s for damn sure.
“Can we talk?” I ask, taking a seat opposite Levi.
There are a few moments of uncomfortable silence as I gather my thoughts. They stare at me expectantly.
“I slept with her that one night, and I didn’t even realize it was her,” I say, knowing how stupid it sounds to even my own ears.
“Are you fucking kidding me? How could you not know?” Gage growls, crossing his arms over his wide chest.
“She looks so different! And I was high that night,” I say, cringing at the word high. Hopefully they will assume I was just smoking weed, when really it was a little more serious than that. “She never said anything, never spoke to me …” I trail off. I don’t want to make her sound bad, going to bed with a man without even saying one word. She’d assumed that I knew it was her. I might not have known it was her, but looking back now, I felt it.
I felt something.
After so long, I actually felt something.
She wasn’t just another one-night stand. She left me that morning.
Gage and Levi share a look. “She never told us who the father was. She never wanted to speak about it, and I eventually dropped it. I mean, looking at it now, it’s pretty fucking obvious he’s your son. But we never knew you two had seen each other again. Hell, you’d all but fallen off the face of the earth.”
“I wouldn’t have let her go through this alone if I had known.”
“She wasn’t alone,” Levi snaps, his brows furrowing.
“Right, of course,” I amend. I know they have both done a lot for Parker and Giselle. I just wish it had been me doing all those things. Now that I’m here, it will be me doing those things, and I look forward to it.
Gage sighs. “I always wanted to hurt the man that deserted Giselle. I just never thought it would turn out to be one of my best friends. And the man Giselle has loved ever since I can remember.”
I draw in a sharp breath, feeling like someone had punched me. Yep, that comment hit its mark.
“Are you sticking around?” he asks, studying me.
I slowly nod, then take in a deep breath. “I’ll have to go back to work eventually, but yes, I’m not leaving them again.”
“Good,” he replies sharply, nodding his head.
“Is that it?” I ask, wondering when the punches are going to commence.
Gage studies me. “You hurt her once; I don’t think you’re stupid enough to do it twice.”
“And if you are, we will be there to kick your ass and pick up the pieces again,” Levi adds, looking a lot less composed than Gage.
He wants her. Or has he already had her? The thought makes my throat burn, even though I know I don’t have a right to feel that way. I don’t have any rights, really; not until I make amends and prove myself.
I rub the back of my neck. “I need this second chance with them. I’m not going to take it for granted, I can promise you that.”
Gage nods once. “Alright. Want a beer?”