“I’m gonna ask your dad first.”
I look over at him as he sits back, unloading his s’more from its maker. “Huh?”
“I want to tell our parents, but I want to talk to Jakob about it first.”
I sit up on my elbow, picking at my s’more. I don’t feel right about that. Not yet. “I don’t know, maybe we should wait. I hate to tell everyone, and bam, something happens.”
I don’t have to look directly at him to see the disdain on his face. “Something like what? You know I won’t hurt you.”
I zone in on my s’more, picking at the marshmallow and playing with it in my fingers, feeling a little self-conscious. “I know that, not intentionally, at least.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
I meet his intense gaze. “Calm down, killer.”
But I’ve pissed him off. “You make it seem like I’m going to be the one to fuck this up. I have no intention of doing so.”
I sit up, leaning on my knees. “I’m aware, and neither am I, but I feel like I’m in a little deeper than you are, and it makes me nervous that you won’t get there.”
His eyes burn into mine. “Can’t give me a chance?”
“I mean, you’re the one all closed off to the thought of it—”
“But I’m trying,” he insists, his intense gaze not faltering. “Do you feel I’m not?”
My mouth is dry. “It’s not that. It’s just that I worry it was so easy to do so with Jasmine—”
“For fucking fuck, can we leave that in the past?”
I press my lips together, my eyes narrowing. “Why are you being a jackass?”
“Because I thought we were doing great, and then you say that. I’m trying, and you’re the one who said you’d be patient.”
“And I am. But I don’t want to rush off, telling everyone that we’re together, and you decide you can’t feel what I feel, and this ends.”
It’s as if I’ve hit him. “That’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair,” I throw back at him. “Be honest. When we tell them, they’ll get excited and plan our wedding and name our first child. Are you ready for that?”
I can see the terror all over his face, but to my surprise, he says, “Yeah, it scares me, but I can handle it.”
“That’s what I mean. It scares you. I don’t want to do anything until you can look at me and want those things.”
“Ally, it’s been three weeks.”
And I’ve been in love with you for years.
I press my lips together and sigh heavily. “You’re right.”
He reaches out, taking my wrist in his hand. “I do love you.”
I shake my head because he doesn’t mean it the way I want him to mean it. “In the best friend kind of way, like we’ve always had. That’s not the problem or even why I am saying what I am.” Our eyes meet, and I can see the apprehension swirling in his gray depths. “Ash, I know I mean so much to you. But when I say that I’m past that, up on the next level, I mean I’m open for anything because I want you. Us. I feel like you’re stuck where we’ve been, and I need you to join me.”
He seems surprised. “I didn’t realize I was behind.”
I bite the inside of my bottom lip, lacing my fingers with his. “Which is why I’ve brought it up.”
He reaches out, cupping my face in his hand. He runs his thumb along my lip, and slowly his lips curve. “I’ll get there.”
“Sooner rather than later?” I ask with a small smile, but he doesn’t smile. It’s almost like I’m talking about one of those articles in a psychology journal that make him mind-numbingly bored. “I think as soon as you unlock all these feelings, you’ll find you’re already there.”
He brings me close to him. “The thought of losing you freaks me the fuck out, Ally.”
“You won’t, Ash. No matter what, I’ll always be there for you. I’ll always be your best friend.” I run my thumb along his jaw. “But I want to be more, so much more. Just hand over your heart and let me show you.”
His eyes drift shut as he presses his nose beside mine. Our lips are right there, but neither of us moves. We take in deep breaths, and I love the closeness. I almost think he’s fallen asleep, but his eyes blink back open and he whispers, “I’m really trying, Ally. I am. I’m just terrified, and you’re the one person I would ever admit that to.”
“You don’t have to be,” I promise, my eyes meeting his. “I won’t hurt you. I’d never hurt you.”
His lips capture mine, and with each kiss, we get hungrier and hungrier. It’s just so easy, as if we fit together. Just as all the bulbs on the jumbotron make a picture, we could make a future. I only wish he could see past what we’ve already had and see what we could become.
I pull back, breathless, my gaze meeting his. “Could I hurt you? Yes, we fight about the stupidest shit, Asher. But I would never break you. Have I before?”
He searches my face with his eyes, his gaze falling onto my lips before meeting my eyes again. “No.”
“Then trust that. Trust me.”
“I do trust you, Ally.”
Doesn’t he realize that means he can love me? Never in my life have I wanted so badly for a man to love me like I do with him. I see the love in his eyes; I feel it. I just need him to feel it and acknowledge his feelings. His wants. Before I can say anything, though, he captures my mouth and I melt back into him. As I undress him, I’m not sure how Fallon would feel about Asher and me doing it in front of her fireplace. But just like the marshmallow I got on the brick in front of us, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Asher
I press Ally into the door, just as I have many times since our relationship started, and I capture her mouth. She’s supposed to be on her way to class and I’m supposed to be cleaning the scoreboard, but tasting her lips is way more important. It’s been almost a month since we started this, and somehow, someway, it still feels so damn right. I feel her in my hands and on my lips when she isn’t there. I crave not only her body, but her laugh. I’ve always thought she was funny, but she has this sexy, playful way about her that I never allowed myself to enjoy before. I love it. Sometimes, I am so hot and ready to hump her leg, but then she has me in stitches, laughing over the silliest shit.
Like now, she’s grinning against my lips. And I don’t even know why, but I’m excited to find out.
“What?” I ask, grinning too as I run my fingers along her collarbone. Her collarbone is by far the sexiest thing on her. I know—really, Asher? A collarbone? But hers, fuck, it’s hot. I love touching it, licking it, kissing it. But I like doing all those things to every single part of her.
Her sweet green eyes meet mine, and she runs her finger along where I swear I have a permanent dent in my face from the pirate patch I wore for so long. “I still miss the patch.”
I give her a dry look. “Are you telling me you aren’t attracted to me unless I’m a pirate?”
She nods, stone-faced. “It might be an issue. I went into this with a pirate, and now I’ve got this jacked-up, super-sexy man meat, and I’m unsure how to handle all that. I mean, Asher, you’re so fucking hot—”
“Okay, smartass.”
She beams up at me, stroking her fingers along my cheek. “I miss it.”
“I don’t. Now I get to see all of you with both eyes.”
Her fingers still glide around my eye. “I have to admit, it is easier having an eye for each of mine.”
“Exactly. I was getting a headache trying to take in all of you with just one eye.”
“But in a way, it may have developed into a super eye.”
“Ooh, that means I’m Cyclops.”
She goes wide-eyed. “Does that make me Jean Grey because, hello, I’d be so hot.”
I give her a sideways look. “Really? I don’t think you look right with red hair.”
“What? I dyed my hair Ariel red in high school, and you told me I looked good!”
“Oh, I lied,” I laugh and she glares. “You looked terrible, but you were so excited, so I rode it out.”
“You bought me a fork!”
I nod. “Because it was funny to watch you comb your hair with it. Come on, Ally, it was funny!” I say since she is glaring even harder. “I feel like if you had the fork right now, you’d make me a pirate again,” I laugh, but she doesn’t think I’m funny. She’s so cute when she’s mad.
“You’d think right!”
“Can you stab this one? This one has had too much drama.”
She ignores my request. “I thought you loved my hair!” she yells, smacking my chest, and I gather her close in my arms.
“I loved it because you did,” I say simply, nipping at her nose. “For me, you’re perfect the way you are. Just you. Not like anyone else—only you.”
She curves her lips. “My stabbing feeling is subsiding.”
I grin as I kiss her top lip. “Good, I really wanted to take you to dinner tonight, but I don’t want to be on edge every time you grab your fork.”