Swoon. Yes, I swoon. His fingers bite into my thighs as he thrusts into me. It’s so hard, it brings me up on my tippy-toes. He presses his forehead into mine as he thrusts, each one harder than the last, until I am completely off my feet. He brings his hand to my other knee, pressing it into the wall as he fucks me hard and with purpose. It feels so damn good, and he’s hitting all the right spots. I may have teased him for his confidence in his abilities, but he wasn’t joking. He knows how to move his body into mine. His hips are dangerous, and the rhythm is an all-out mindfuck. Out of nowhere, I come hard around his cock. As I squeeze him, his moans get deeper and throatier. I swear, I may have come again from the dirtiness of his sounds. It feels as if his fingernails are breaking my skin as he holds me in place, thrusting up into me with so much force, I feel it everywhere.
I open my eyes, taking him in, and I know I’ve never seen a more gorgeous sight. His shoulders are taut, his jaw is clenched, and sweat drips down his forehead and chest, getting lost in his chest hair. I lean in, taking his mouth with mine, and then he shatters. It’s as if his soul leaves his body and then slams back in with the way he jerks into me. I drop my head back into the door as he groans loudly against my mouth. I feel his heart pounding in his chest as I trail kisses down his jaw and neck.
Once he catches his breath, he opens his eye and then smiles big. “Two things.”
I nod, still breathing as hard as he is. “I’m surprised you can think. I know you’re talking, but I’m unsure I’m able to hear you.”
He laughs and I grin. “Same. But I didn’t have a condom and I was selfish and didn’t look for one either, but I know you’re on birth control. So, you may be wrong, and I may very well be a closet fuckboy.”
I shake my head, fighting to hold back my laughter. “You’re not. We know each other.”
He leans in, moving his lips along mine. “I know, but still. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Fucked me against the wall or not worn a condom?”
His eye meets mine. “The condom part, because there was no stopping once I started.” I lick his top lip, and he smiles. “Secondly, I have never—and I mean, never ever—felt like that during sex. With anyone.”
I swallow hard, my eyes locking with his one. “Me either.”
Asher nods, sliding his nose along mine. “Can you give me a ride back to my place so I can regenerate and we can do it again?”
I exhale against his lips. “You make it sound like I killed you or something.”
He grins. “You did and ruined me for anyone else in this world.”
I bite into my lip as I get lost in his gray eye. “If everything goes the way I want it to, there won’t be anyone else.”
I see the apprehension in his gaze, but he masks it with a grin. “I like the sound of that.”
He takes my mouth. He can try to hide his fear, but I know it’s there. I know he isn’t lying to me; he wants this. He does, but he is scared. He doesn’t want to lose me, and I don’t want to lose him, but knowing he isn’t as confident in what we could have as I am scares the living shit out of me.
But this, us, is a chance I refuse not to take.
Chapter Nineteen
Asher
I always thought that it was so overdramatic and fake in movies when a couple started getting it on but then it cut to them falling back in bed all tired and spent, but now I realize maybe their sex is like Ally’s and mine. I fall back into my bed, unable to breathe, shaking all over, tired out of my mind, drained, and kicking myself for not doing this earlier with Ally.
I was a dumbass.
A really blind dumbass, and at the time, I had two good eyes.
Beside me, Ally gasps for breath along with me. I’m covered in sweat, throbbing in all the right places, and exhausted to the point where I’m going to need more than a drive home to regenerate. I’m gonna need a nap and maybe some sushi.
I draw in a deep breath as she cuddles into my side, gliding her fingers through the hair on my chest. Jasmine used to hate my chest hair, complained about it, but I didn’t care. I don’t mind it. I move my fingers up Ally’s back, loving the bumps of her spine and softness of her before nuzzling my nose in her hair.
“I lied,” I whisper, and she cuddles closer.
“About what?”
“Earlier, when I said you killed me, it was a lie. Because you really killed me that time.”
She giggles against my skin. “I’ve never enjoyed sucking dick like I just did.”
I can still feel her mouth on me. If my guy weren’t dead, he’d be up for another round, but nope, not right now. “Sushi. I need sushi.”
“Oh yeah, that sounds awesome.”
“Agreed. Though, I don’t want to move.”
“Me either.”
So, neither of us does. I kiss the top of her head, holding her close to me. She kisses the side of my pec, and I feel her lashes along my skin, letting me know her eyes are shut. I go back over what has transpired in the last four hours. It all seems so unreal, but Allison Titov is in my arms. I feel her naked body against mine. I can smell her, feel her on my lips, and still taste her.
I made love to my best friend, and I liked it. Immensely.
It almost made me forget that I am terrified of what could happen with her. Of the unknown. Of losing the one person who loves me inside and out and not because I put out. Since I have now put out, things will change drastically. Or at least, I think they will? Feelings can be felt. Real feelings. For each other.
Fuck me.
“Hey, Ally,” I ask against her head, and she sighs.
“I’m not getting up to order sushi. My phone is in my hoodie somewhere. You go find it.”
I grin against her hair. “No, not yet,” I say, kissing her. “But are we together now?”
She pauses. “Well, I’d hope so. I gave you the best head ever, so I thought that would lock you in.”
I laugh, cuddling her to me. “Yeah, it worked.” She smacks my chest as she laughs, and I smile against her hair. As much as it scares the living fuck out of me not knowing what will happen and if I’ll let myself fall for her, I’m not lying; she locked me down. “No. You locked me in way before that.”
“It was the volleyball net kiss, huh?”
I grin as I stare up at the ceiling. Man, that was a great kiss. “I think it might have been.”
“It was pretty awesome.”
“It was,” I agree, inhaling. “I don’t know how to act around you now.”
She scoffs. “Like yourself, dork.”
“But it’s different. I have to impress you.”
“Ash, shut up. You don’t. You already got me.”
“So? I have to keep you. Duh.” She grins against my skin. “It’s the truth. I can’t be acting all dorky and shit. I gotta be manly and buy you flowers—”
“Ew, no. I hate flowers, you know that.”
“I do,” I say, and damn, can it be that easy? I know every single thing about her, but she hasn’t ever been with a decent dude. All of them have been shit. “But the reason is because guys only got you flowers when they fucked up. I want to buy you flowers because you’re beautiful.”
She tilts her head up to look at me. “Wow.”
I nod. “Told you. I’m a pretty awesome boyfriend.”
“And you’re hung.”
I grin. “That too,” I say with a wink, and it’s then that I realize, I’m so comfortable. It’s as if we’ve been doing this forever, but it can’t be that simple. The transition from what we were into what we’re doing now can’t be this seamless. I told myself so long ago it wouldn’t be—I didn’t believe it could be, so instead I went for the easy choice that was right in my face. Jasmine. Now… Now I’m in bed with Ally, and I’m feeling all sorts of confusing things.
“I don’t know, Ally. Does it feel weird to you?”
She eyes me. “No. I feel pretty damn good.”
“I do too. I mean us. Isn’t it weird to take it to this level?”
She furrows her brows. “Do you think it’s weird?”
“No… I don’t know.” Her brows don’t relax, and she’s still eyeing me. I know that means she’s getting annoyed with me. “You hear all kinds of horror stories about friends getting together and it going bad. But I guess we haven’t had time yet for it—”
“Asher.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.” I narrow my gaze as I lean down, pressing my nose to hers. “Shut your brain off and enjoy what we are building here. We know two things—we are great friends, and sex is awesome between us. What could go wrong?”
“You could turn into a lesbian and leave me?” I go for the joke, because telling her I don’t know how to let myself be with her isn’t something I can say right now.
She snorts with laughter. “Not happening. I love dick. Yours, especially.” I don’t smile, and her eyes go soft. “Really? I know it broke your heart when that happened with Jasmine, but I really didn’t see it messing with your confidence.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t know if it’s my confidence or if it’s because it’s you.”