I roll my eyes as I pull into Audrey’s cupcakery. Asher’s car drives like a dream, but it makes me a little irate since it’s his and he hasn’t called or texted. It’s so unlike him, and I know that’s the reason for my negative thinking. I get out and see Audrey in the shop, moving around, talking to customers, and being her awesome self. There isn’t a birthday or an event where Audrey Odder’s cakes or cupcakes aren’t involved. She’s another friend of my family, married to the great Tate Odder, the Assassins’ ninja goalie. They own this awesome place, and it’s the only bakery I go to for sweets. Since I wanted to get Angie something to tell her not only am I sorry for what happened, but I’m proud of her, I knew I could do it with one of Audrey’s cupcakes. Or four. We’ll see when I get in there.
I head inside, locking the car as I pull the front door open. When Audrey’s bright gaze falls on me, we both beam at each other. “Well, hey there, Ally!”
“Hey,” I say as she comes around to hug me. “It’s good to see you.”
“You too, my love. How are you?”
“Okay. Last night was a mess.”
She nods, concern filling her features. She is also Asher’s aunt. “Lord, my baby’s eye is disgusting. Fallon is freaking out like he is four again.”
I cringe. “Yeah, it was rough. I’ve never seen him act like that.”
Audrey tilts her head as she heads behind the counter. “He’s fiercely loyal. You’re his person, so I think it was a no-brainer for him.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I say as I swallow. I’m his person, but what if I’m not the person he wants to be with? “I need some cupcakes.”
She grins. “Well, sweet girl, you’re in the right place!”
We share a grin as I start picking out cupcakes. One turns into four and then six by the time I’m done. Of course, I need some for myself. I’m stressing, and the sugary delight will make things somewhat better. I get out my card to pay, but she waves me off. “No way.”
“Audrey—” I try, but she pushes the cupcakes toward me.
“Enjoy.”
“Thank you,” I say with a wide grin. “I’ll see you later.” The bell over the door of the shop rings. I turn to leave, and I’m stunned in place. It’s like my feet are glued to the floor as my eyes lock with Asher’s good eye.
He’s surprised to see me, I can tell, and I don’t feel like it’s a happy surprise either. As it normally is. No, it’s “What the hell are you doing here?” kind of surprised, and it scares me. In seconds, I know I never should have kissed him.
“Hey—”
Before he can finish, Audrey yells as she comes toward him, “My Slim Jim!” He groans as she wraps her arms around him, kissing him hard on the cheek. Fallon laughs as she sideways-hugs me. “My poor boy! How are you?”
“I was okay until I came in here and was reminded of my awful nickname,” he says dryly, but Audrey doesn’t seem fazed by his aggravation as Fallon heads toward the counter. Audrey kisses him again, petting his patch and then his chest.
“I made you carrot cake cupcakes to make you feel better.”
He moves his gaze to me for a split second before he looks back to her. “Thank God, I need them.”
“How are you feeling?” I ask, needing his attention.
Needing to know if I really messed things up.
He shrugs. “I’m all right. It hurts like fire. Mom has been babying me and feeding me my meds.”
“That’s good,” I say, forcing a smile. “I texted you.”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry. I passed out when I got to the house, and then this morning I had that follow-up appointment—”
“Oh? How did it go?”
“Okay. It’s a minor cut. He’s not worried about my vision, and I could actually see a bit out of it.”
I nod happily. It’s forced, but hey, I’m trying. “Oh, thank goodness.”
“Yeah.”
Time passes between us, and then I ask the question that’s burning inside me. “Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
He shrugs once more. “I don’t know, Ally. My head is all over the place.” I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. His gray eyes are dull when they meet mine, and my stomach drops out my ass. “I should have.”
“Yeah. I’m worried about you.”
He draws in a breath through his nose, looking every bit put out. “I know.”
“And I feel we have stuff to talk about.”
He licks his lips. “I figured we’d do it in person.”
“When? Gotta answer the phone for that,” I say sharper than I intended. “This isn’t like you.”
I almost ask if he’s mad at me, but I don’t know if I can handle the answer.
He hesitates and looks everywhere but at me. “I know. Listen, I’m sorry. My meds make me tired and cranky, and I hate this white patch. Emery won’t leave me alone, and yeah, I’m being a dick. I’m sorry.”
But it’s not the apology I wanted.
I nod slowly, fighting back the tears. “Totally fine. Totally cool. Hey, I’ll see you later—”
“Ally—” he tries, but I move past him.
“No, it’s cool. See ya around.”
He doesn’t stop me. He doesn’t call my name. He lets me go.
Once I get to the car, I sit there and wait for him to come out. I check my phone—and nothing. I thought maybe he’d text me to say he wanted to talk later, but he doesn’t. When the tears start to fall, I let them because I was stupid enough to allow this to happen. I knew it could go this way, that he wouldn’t want me the way I want him, but I wanted so much for it to be everything I dreamed of.
Problem is, dreams aren’t always reality.
Chapter Seventeen
Asher
Well, I fucked that up.
I shake my head as I fall into the nearest chair and cup my face in my hands. I’m freaking the fuck out. I hadn’t expected to see Ally so soon. I needed a little longer to process everything that happened last night. My reaction to Taco grabbing her. Aiden’s thoughts about what I am feeling and, ultimately, her lips on mine. I spent all night thinking and feeling Ally’s lips; sleep was forced because of the pain meds. Even when I was asleep, I was dreaming of her. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what happened, and I’m unsure why she kissed me. I want to believe she feels something for me, but for so long, we’ve just been friends. Never has she said she wanted more. Or even acted as if she wanted more. When did it change for her? What changed? I’ve always been irresistible. And now, I’m grinning because if Ally were here, she’d tease me.
Fuck, I guess I should have called and asked.
Problem is, I can’t shake these overwhelming feelings. Never in my life have I felt what I did when her lips pressed into mine. I know I was high on pain meds, but I swear it was her lips, the taste of her, and the way her hand held my jaw that made me feel as if I were flying. That I was completely hers. I’ve never tossed and turned because of how a girl made me feel. Especially from just a kiss. That’s all it was. A quick, mind-blowing, world-shattering kiss and I refuse to think of anything but that. The feelings that keep smacking me in the chest are suffocating and jolt me to my core.
So many questions swirl in my head. Does she care for me? As more than a friend? Or was she overemotional after all that happened? Do I want more? And if so, will we be as good as we are now? I can’t lose her. I don’t understand what I am feeling. I’ve done so well hiding my feelings all this time, but here I am. I am freaking the hell out.
The unknown is terrifying, but I sure as hell don’t like the way she looked at me just now. As if I didn’t care for her, worry about her feelings, or respect her—because I do. So much so, I’m in my head. There is a line, and I see it. It’s huge and red, and on one side is the great friendship we have. Where we joke, talk about absolutely anything, and we’re so comfortable together. Nothing matters but us, and we have a damn good time.
On the other side of the line are those kisses, touching her, and, ultimately, sex with her. Which, if she kisses me like that again, I might skip the touching and take her to the nearest surface. I really want to cross that line. It’s killing me not to, but my only worry is that what we have on the safe side won’t be on the other side. In reality, I want to break through the fucking line, wrap my arms around her, and kiss the living shit out of her.
I think I want to cross that line…if she wants to.
I lift my head. “Fuck, I need to see her.”
“Asher! Language!” Mom hollers at me. “What is wrong with you?”
I get up, reaching for the cupcakes on the counter, and throw another whole one in my mouth. I eat when I’m nervous, and going to the next step with Ally terrifies me. “I need you to take me to Ally’s dorm.”
She is incredulous. “She was just here! Why didn’t you go with her?”
“We had a fight. Ignore that detail, and come on.”
She gives me a dry look. “I don’t run on your time schedule, mister. Audrey and I are discussing something.”