Speechless(85)

                And there’s a definite novelty to knowing what my teachers are                     talking about instead of just zoning out as usual. Like, in geometry, I actually                     understood the equations Mr. Callihan wrote on the overhead projector. Okay, not                     all of them, but some. And I even took notes. Detailed ones! Asha is a saint.                     She really is.

                This is what I tell—well, not tell, but write to—Sam while Ms.                     Kinsey pontificates on the technique behind charcoal shading. He looks at my                     sketchpad and laughs, and when he takes my pencil, his fingers cover mine for a                     moment.

                yeah she’s pretty awesome

                Awesome x awesome. Awesome2

                awesome3

                Awesome99999999

                awesomeinfinity

                What is the square root of awesome?

                √awesome = asha

                You should be the one tutoring me.

                maybe in home ec

                Sewing? I already know how to do that.

                cooking

                Asha said she’d teach me to knit.

                tuna melts and scarves. you’d be set for life.

                You’d really show me how to make a tuna melt?

                if you want. coming to rosie’s tonite?

                Depends. Am I welcome?

                sure

                What about Andy?

                i talked to him

                AND?????

                & he’s cool

                Liar.

                o.k. you’re not gonna be best friends anytime soon. but he                     won’t punch you in the face or anything. promise. maybe you could talk to                     him?

                …are you kidding?

                nevermind

                * * *

                Sam’s suggestion for me to talk to Andy sticks with me                     for the rest of the day. I know he probably didn’t mean it literally, but it                     makes me wonder about what, exactly, it will take for me to talk again. I know I                     can’t stay silent forever, but the longer I don’t speak, the less inclined I am                     to start. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that Sam is right. Andy deserves                     an explanation. An apology. Something.