“So I can’t father a child?”
“Not as long as you are receiving your current injections.”
“That implies it could be reversed.”
“It’s possible,” Riley says. “It isn’t something that was ever tested. Is that…is that something you want?”
“Don’t you? I mean, someday, when all of this shit is behind us?”
“I don’t know if it will ever be behind us, Galen.”
I’d had a knot in my stomach as I held her and watched her fall asleep. I had the unnerving thought that it was our last night together, and I haven’t been able to shake that feeling ever since.
“It’s not too late, you know,” I say as I lean close to Riley. “You can just stay here on the Carson side. It’s not that far to Marra. You’d be safer here.”
“I’m not discussing this with you again,” she says.
It’s not quite an order but close enough for me to shut up. I reach over and take her hand and lace our fingers together. She lays her head on my shoulder.
“It will all be over soon,” she says. “We’ll get the Seroquel, figure out how to synthesize it, and we won’t have to do anything like this again.”
“I hope so.”
The truck turns, and we bump down a rough road until we finally come to a stop. I hear the doors in the front open first, and then one of the soldiers comes around and opens the back hatch for us.
The sky is overcast as I climb out of the truck and step onto the gravel road. Everything is damp from a recent rainfall, and I can feel the moisture in the cool air. I take Riley’s hand and help her out of the back of the truck as Errol comes around from the front.
“I’ve got a little surprise for you,” Errol says. “Well, Merle arranged it, really.”
He points over my shoulder, and I turn quickly. Hal is standing near the edge of the road, smiling.
“How are ya, boy?”
“Better than I was the last time I saw you.” I turn back to Riley. “Riley, this is Hal. He farmed the fields next to ours. Hal, this is Riley.”
“Ya must be the doc, right?” Hal reaches out and shakes her hand.
“That would be me.”
“Well, maybe ya can both come along with me.”
“Where?”
“Don’t ya know where ya are?” He grins.
“Near the border.” I narrow my eyes, confused as Hal chuckles.
“This area was originally Carson territory,” Errol says, “but was then taken over by Mills. Mills recently decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Carson took it back.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yer home, boy.” Hal sweeps his hand through the air to indicate everything around us.
I take a look at the surrounding area. Many things have changed, but now that I know what I’m looking for, I can see familiar sights all around me. We’re just off the main access road that leads to my family’s farm. Our property is just over the hill, down in the valley.
“I thought ya’d like to see the old place before ya run off on yer next adventure,” Hal says. “The house is gone, but the barn is still there.”
“Yeah,” I say as I glance over to Riley. “Let’s go.”
*****
I walk up a small, muddy hill.
The irony of a recent rainfall isn’t lost on me. For all the years I spent practically begging the skies to open up and rain down on this area, all I can think about now is how I’m going to end up getting mud all over the truck.
I’m not sure I can go through with this.
Passing by ancient, worn-away headstones, I make my way toward the small family plot near the back. As I get close, the name Braggs appears on many of the tall, grand monuments around me. As I near my destination, the markers are small and flat on the ground.
I stop and stand at the edge of the graveyard, a little bundle of wildflowers clenched in my fist. I know exactly which headstone is hers before I see the words. I remember picking out the monument in a daze of grief and rage. The day she was laid to rest, I went out back and got my gun from the barn. A few hours later, I was at the Mills’ barracks.
Braggs, Amelia Jane
Beloved sister
My throat feels as if it’s on fire, and I can’t swallow. I crouch slightly and deposit the meager flowers on top of the stone. They’re purple—her favorite color.
“If I had been then what I am now, I could have stopped them,” I whisper.
My cheeks are wet. For a moment, I think it’s raining again, but it’s only me. I take a step back. I don’t have anything else to say. This is my past, and I have to focus myself on my future—my future with Riley.