“The fuck I don’t!” I turn around, grabbing my head with both hands. I can feel the violence and rage building inside of me, and I have nowhere to direct it. My hands and legs shake, and I try to regain some control.
I feel Riley’s fingers on my left arm and give myself to the calming effect. It still takes several minutes before I can speak again.
“I need you to be safe,” I finally say.
“I’ll be careful. It will all be fine.”
“You don’t know that.” Inside of me, all the conceivable complications run through my head. If she’s captured, I will be destroyed—either by the Mills Conglomerate or by the simple fact that she’s gone. Either way, I won’t survive.
“We have the potential for a whole new life here,” Riley says gently, still stroking my arm. “I know it’s frightening right now, but it’s all we have.”
“You are what I have,” I tell her as my frustration and fear grow. “You are everything I have. Nothing else makes any difference. Not the implants, the drugs, or some stupid fucking war I don’t give a shit about—nothing. I have no family, no friends, no life without you. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do unless it centers around you. I’m only doing this because of you, because I won’t risk going psycho on you!”
She stares at me, opened mouthed, for a long moment before she steps forward and places her hand on the side of my face.
“I understand, Galen,” she says quietly, “but you need to understand me, too. My life has also been turned upside down. I found out everything I thought I was working toward was based on a lie. I found out my father may have been assassinated by the people I worked to advance. His death is the reason I fought against CA in the first place. I forfeited my career, which was the only thing I really cared about, in order to help you—to correct my mistakes. I don’t regret any of it, but it leaves me in the same position as you.”
She runs her hand over my face and presses up against me.
“All I care about is making sure my mistake doesn’t end up killing you or causing you to be killed. I need to be there to make sure it’s done right. You’re all I have left, too.”
I close my eyes and lean my forehead against hers. I haven’t thought of all this from her perspective, but I can’t deny that she has as big a stake in this as I do—maybe more so.
“We need to stick together,” she says. “It will take two days to get from Carson City to the first checkpoint. You will do better with me there, close to you. More importantly, I don’t want to ever be apart from you—not ever.”
“Will you be able to guide me?” If I could talk to her the whole time, maybe it would be all right.
“Not with the blocking chip Errol installed, no,” she says.
I close my eyes and shake my head.
“I don’t like it,” I say softly.
“I don’t like anything about this,” she replies, “but we’re out of options.”
Pressing my lips to hers, I give in completely. I know I can’t talk her out of it, and if she decides she’s had enough of my arguing, she can always order me to stop. I deepen the kiss and envelop her in my arms.
An overwhelming sense of foreboding collects in the pit of my stomach. Even as Riley strokes my arm once more before we go back to join the others, I can’t shake the feeling.
Chapter 25
“You looked damn good in that suit, you know.” Riley smiles at me as we bump down the road.
I glance down at the garment bag at my feet. The tailored suit I’ve been given is dark, professional, and discreet. The goal is not to be noticed when I enter Mills Pharmco.
“You looked damn good last night when I had you spread out on the desk.”
Riley presses her lips together as her cheeks turn red. As mouthy as she can be during sex, she’s very reserved about it around other people.
“You pull off the executive look very well,” she says, diverting the conversation as she glances at the soldiers in the back of the truck. “I don’t think you’ll have any trouble blending in at Mills Pharmco.”
We’re nearing the border between Carson Alliance and Mills Conglomerate territory, where we will stop and wait for night to fall. I should be running through the mission in my head, but all my thoughts are on the conversation I had with Riley last night.
“Riley, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“We, um…we never use any kind of protection. Are you on birth control, or am I sterile?”
She stills for a moment before she answers.
“Both, actually.”