“You had your freedom.”
“Did I?” I shake my head slowly. “There is nothing for me there now. No farm, no family. Even if I could return there, I wouldn’t want to. If having you means being shackled to implants or drugs or fucking metal chains, I’ll take it. You are my only reason to exist.”
“I don’t know if I want you to feel like that. You shouldn’t have to be shackled to me.”
“I want to be, Riley! Don’t you see that?”
“How can I trust what you think you want?” she asks. “Knowing I had a part in making you feel that way, how can I believe it now?”
“Isn’t love a hormonal reaction?” I raise an eyebrow at her. “Who is to say that what we have is any different from what any other couple might experience?”
“You know that is not the point.”
“Well, let’s come at it from my own ego, then. I’m strong. I can fight off a half dozen soldiers without breaking a sweat. I can see in the dark. If I need to understand something, you can just load it into my head. I can go for days without food or water. I can fuck you for hours, turn around, and do it all again. I am a super-soldier. What guy doesn’t want to be that?”
“You’re being flippant.”
She starts to turn from me, but I take her chin in my hand and make her face me.
“I didn’t ask for this.” With my thumb, I brush a final tear from her face. “All of this was forced upon me, but it started when I killed those men. I don’t regret that. Now that it’s all said and done, I think I prefer this over staying in prison for the rest of my life. I certainly prefer it to execution.”
“I didn’t think about it that way,” Riley says.
“I may not have chosen this life you gave me,” I say, “but other than my memories, I didn’t have a lot to lose. Now that I have those back, my only fear is losing you.”
Chapter 23
I wake.
There’s no pause between sleep and wakefulness. I simply go from one stage to the other without any grogginess, just like I always do. This time is different though.
The bed I’m in is soft and warm, and Riley is curled up beside me, her back to my chest. Her hair is spread out over the pillow, making her look as if she were lying on a pile of fluff. I push a few strands away from her face so I can see her better.
As I watch her sleep, my every thought is of her. I watch her chest rise and fall with slow, steady breaths. I hear her heart beating steadily, and I find that if I concentrate hard enough, I can make my rhythm match hers. I focus on the curve of her cheek, the spiral design of her ear, and then the precise hue of her lips. Her eyelashes flutter slightly, and I wonder if she’s dreaming of me.
If I could just wake up to this every morning, life would be good.
Shifting slightly, I pull the blanket up a little higher to make sure Riley is warm enough. She hums softly as she turns in my arms, snuggling against my chest.
I haven’t given any thought to a future for myself. The very idea of thinking ahead feels foreign and unattainable. Since I woke in the lab, I’ve lived entirely in the present. I’m not sure if I’m even capable of thinking any other way.
With my fingertip, I stroke the side of her face from temple to chin. Her skin is soft and cool compared to mine. Her lips part slightly, and she sighs in her sleep.
I know now that this is what I want—what I have right now. Every morning, I want to wake up in a warm bed with Riley next to me. I want to open my eyes before she does so I can watch her sleep.
As I fill my head with her wonder and beauty, Riley mumbles something incoherent and kicks the blanket halfway off of us. I smile as I pull it back up, tucking it around her shoulder. She grumbles and then pushes at my chest.
“Too fucking hot!” She rolls to one side, kicking the blanket again.
I snicker under my breath. She isn’t the least bit awake, but she’s still mumbling. I can’t understand much of it, but the word “penis” is clear enough. Biting my lip, I hold in the laughter as I slide my hand over her stomach and then a little lower.
Working my hand between her legs, I start to massage her clit with my thumb. She mumbles and moans as I skim through her folds, feeling the moisture collect on my fingers. Her mouth drops open, but her eyes remain closed. She licks at her lips and arches her neck.
Circling her opening, I keep working her clit as well, adding more pressure. A soft moan escapes her mouth, but she still isn’t awake. My dick presses hard against her backside, wanting a little attention of its own, but I’d rather play with her for now.
I slide a finger inside of her and then another. I move slowly in and out, rotating my thumb around her slit. Sweat begins to appear on her forehead and neck, and I press my lips to the tiny droplets.