Specimen(40)

“Anomalies?” She hadn’t mentioned this before, and I am again reminded of my dreams.

“I don’t know what it is,” she says again. “It could be nothing. It could also indicate a malfunction in your implants. Not knowing puts you at risk.”

“I feel fine,” I tell her. I don’t want her to find a problem. I don’t want her to figure out that I have dreams about my past. “My performance is still good, isn’t it?”

“Your performance is exemplary.” Riley drops in the rolling chair and sighs. “That’s the problem. If you weren’t doing so well, they wouldn’t consider this action. As it is, they’re sending you out tomorrow.”

“That soon?”

“The intelligence just came in, and the convoy is supposed to pass that point by the wall in two days.”

“We’re ready,” I say, trying to reassure her.

“Any miscalculation could be devastating. We can’t afford to risk this, not yet.”

I take her in my arms and pull her against me.

“I’ll be all right, Riley. You’ve trained me so well. You’re the best doctor here, and I know we can get this done.”

“I hope so, Sten.” She coils her arms around my waist and places her cheek to my chest. “It’s not like they’re giving us a choice.”

*****

I’m frightened but determined. The shotgun feels heavy in my hands as I sneak behind the barracks, searching. My head spins, and I’m standing over two uniformed soldiers with holes from a shotgun blast in their chests.

I say nothing as I’m surrounded. The shotgun is yanked from my grasp and my arms are pulled behind me before I’m shoved roughly to the ground. My mind whirls again, and I’m sitting in a hard plastic seat with a phone receiver pressed to my ear.

“Jesus, Galen! What were ya thinkin’, son?” The familiar old man stares at me from the other side of a glass window. His eyes are wide with terror as he places his hand on the glass.

“What else was I supposed to do, Hal?” I feel tears streaming down my face as I place my hand opposite his. The glass is cold. “What are they going to do to me?”

“I don’t know, son.” He shakes his head sadly. “I just don’t know.”

Someone comes up behind me and pulls me from the chair. My hands are cuffed behind my back as I stare at the father-figure behind the glass.

I know I’ll never see him again.

When I wake, I’m curled up in a ball with tears streaming down my face. My throat hurts, and my nose is running. I push myself off the bed and go to the sink to wash my face.

It’s early, and Riley hasn’t arrived yet. I hate waking up and being alone. Without her as a distraction, I am left with too much time to think about the strange, unconfirmed images in my head.

The dream had felt so real but disconnected at the same time. I don’t understand the images in my head. The old man—Hal—has been in my dreams before but never in such a setting. Most of my dreams have centered on the farm and my sister. The barracks and the strange glass window are different.

Had I left the farm and become a soldier?

I think about the shotgun I’d held in my dream. It was a simple weapon and not one resembling military issue. I consider the bodies that had been lying at my feet, and my stomach tightens.

None of it makes any sense.

Maybe it is all just a dream.

But I know it’s not.

*****

Riley is late.

She’s never been late before. She’s always here at the same time, give or take ten minutes.

The more I think about it, the more agitated I become. I take a shower. I dress. I try to come up with something to occupy my mind, but I know every piece of equipment in the lab. There is nothing of any interest here. I try to access more information about Errol Spat, but I find nothing new.

It’s been over fourteen hours since I last saw her.

Since the day I first woke up, I haven’t been apart from her this long. My hands begin to shake and my thighs start to tremble. I swallow a couple of times, but I can’t get rid of the sour taste in the back of my throat.

If something has happened to her, I have no idea what I will do.

Briefly, I consider what might become of me. I know there are other doctors who share Dr. McCall’s belief that my treatments have been a mistake. What if she were left in charge of me? Would she alter the treatments or just have me voided, whatever that means. Would they wipe out my memoires again and make me start over?

Kill me?

I have no idea.

I’m already heading to the door, not sure what I will do other than bang on it and scream for someone to find Riley, when the door opens and a haggard Riley walks in. I immediately grab her up in my arms and hug her tightly to me.