I freeze my actions. My entire body tightens, and my dick throbs in my shorts.
It’s too much. I need this. I need her.
I don’t move.
“You have to let go of me.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and withdraw my hands only enough to release her. I keep them close enough to still feel the heat from her body and detect the shift of air when she moves. She uses her hands to push herself backward on the bed, away from me.
The muscles in my legs shake. I’m so wound up, and I can’t let it go. The tension becomes painful and the need for release so prevalent, I can no longer think. I grip the edge of the bed until my knuckles turn white. As soon as she pulls her legs back and pushes herself off the edge of the bed, on the side opposite me, I grab the bed and throw it, smashing it into the mirror.
I glare at my reflection, and the strange dark eyes glare back at me. The unfamiliar lips are curled up in a snarl, and the unkempt beard creates a frightening image. Everything about the man looking back at me is alien.
Didn’t I just shave last night?
“Jesus, Sten!”
I meet her eyes, see her shock and horror, and shame rushes through me. I didn’t intend to scare her, but the insides of my body feel like they’re going to erupt into a plume of molten lava. I’m shaking all over, and I don’t know what to do. Pressure builds behind my eyes, and my throat tightens until I gasp.
“Why am I like this?” I scream at her.
“Calm down, Sten.” She takes a small step toward me and stops. She glances at the mirror and gives a slight shake of her head. It’s a signal to whomever is behind there. She thinks she can handle this.
Can you?
“It’s a…side effect.” She stares into my face. “Heightened sexual energy goes along with the desired factors we’re trying to amplify. You’ll need them to survive.”
I watch her eyes flicker. She isn’t telling me everything. There’s something about all of this that she’s holding back from me, but I’m sure she isn’t going to give the information up. Not now.
“Riley…” I plead with her. I don’t even know what I expect her to do, but I need her to do something before I explode.
She stands up straight, squares her shoulders, and walks to me with confidence. She reaches out with one hand.
“It’s all right, Sten. Take my hand.”
When our skin touches again, some of the tension subsides. She runs her hand up my left arm, and I can breathe again. Her fingers stroke my hand, and my legs give out. I drop to my knees in front of her, instinctively reaching out to wrap my arms around her, but I stop myself. She said I had to let go of her.
I lean forward just enough to lightly press my forehead against her stomach. I clench my hands into fists until my nails are cutting into my palms. I feel her hand against the back of my head as tears fall from my eyes.
Chapter 4
Time is an elusive and undefined thing.
I think I’m losing track of entire days. I’ll be standing in the shower, checking for missed shaving areas, and the next thing I know, I’m strapped back to the bed with several days’ worth of beard growth. Once, I woke up with shorter hair but no memory of receiving a haircut. I was disoriented and confused, like I had been the first day. Then Riley appeared, and all my misgivings dissipated.
As long as she’s near me, I question nothing. She’s my doctor, my guide, and the subject of nearly every thought in my head. Everything I do—everything I am—centers on her.
My days are broken up into two segments—when Riley is present and when she isn’t. When she’s gone, I’m alone in the lab. I use the sink and the shower to clean up. I sleep on the small bed. The lights are never dimmed, but I’ve come to realize that doesn’t matter. I’m not sure if it is just the way I am now or if it’s because my food is drugged. Maybe it’s both.
When Riley is here, she monitors my progress and administers treatments to further my transformation. Under her guidance, I train. At first, all my training is done in a gym. I run; I lift weights; I swim. Eventually I progress to virtual training in a simulator. I’m given objectives and evaluated based on how efficiently I achieve them. At first, the goals are easy, but they become increasingly difficult.
“Time for some simulation training,” Riley tells me as I finish drying off from my shower and pull a pair of pants up over my naked ass.
I’m never bothered by the lack of privacy in the lab room. Even with the large mirror and the presumed omnipresence behind it, I don’t care. With regards to Riley, I wish she’d look at me more than she does. I wish she’d look, touch, and maybe consider taking my cock in her mouth.