Sparks Fly(Divine Creek Ranch 11)(41)

He turned his head and flipped up his visor. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

He closed the visor, and they got back on the road. They arrived at the location predetermined by the group, off the scenic road which ran the perimeter of the lake. The fireworks were set up on a small island in the middle of the lake so no matter where they went along the shore, the show would be spectacular.

Eli parked beside Ethan Grant’s truck and stood with hand held out to take her helmet from her when she removed it, allowing the long coil of her dark-brown hair to unwind down her back. Her hair caught in the chin strap of the helmet, pulling painfully. She gasped as it yanked at the hair near her temples, sending shooting pain along those sensitive nerve endings. She cursed softly, and tears filled her eyes again.

Get a grip, you fucking ninny! It’s hair, not the end of the world!

“Whoa, let me help.” Eli set his helmet aside and held hers in one hand while he extricated her hair from the buckle.

Her lip trembled, and she breathed slowly through her nose, praying for calmness as the emotions surged within her, sure that he could hear the pounding of her heart over the conversations all around them.

Coming out here was a bad idea. I should’ve just taken Levi home. The day started too early, and it’s not near to being done. I was a fool to commit to so much today!

Eli loosened the hair and freed it, stowed the helmet with the other one, took the keys from the ignition, and secured the bike. Hoping nobody would notice her flushed face in the dark, she took his hand and prepared to join the others. He stopped her and turned her toward him. The moon was at its brightest, fullest point and illuminated blue and silver highlights in his jet-black hair, which was so much like their son’s. She bit her lip, knowing he would be able to see the tear tracks on her cheeks by the same light.

“Wait here, angel.”

Thankful for a respite from being sociable some more, Rachel leaned against his bike and waited. He returned a moment later, and without a word, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her hard and just held on.

The tremble started out small, like she’d overused a muscle. But then it spread outward from her core until even her hands shook when she lifted them to wipe a strand of hair from her eyes. She buried her face in his chest as people walked by so they wouldn’t hear her sniffling as her crying jag signaled it was about to get its groove on.

Keeping it bottled up inside made her feel like she would explode, but he still just held on, not asking questions, only anchoring her. She dug her fingers into his back through his T-shirt, unable to stop herself from sinking her nails in as she held on for dear life. She muffled a sob against his chest that erupted from deep inside, and her tears wet his shirt as she cried silently while he stroked her hair down her back.

Her world tilted oddly as he lifted her into his arms and carried her across the road, away from the people finding spots to sit on the shoreline. She buried her face against his neck but was aware of the sound of his boots as he walked through the brush and occasionally felt the snap of a small tree branch or twig against her as he moved steadily uphill.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Up the hill where we can be alone but still see.”

“But Grace—”

“I checked in with her so she wouldn’t worry about us.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Angel, don’t.” He placed her on her feet and then settled down against the trunk of a large tree and beckoned to her. She hated that she felt self-conscious as she climbed into his lap. That was a powerful indicator for how off-center she felt because lap time with Eli had always been one of her favorite things. “We have a while before the show starts. Can you tell me what’s going on? It rips my heart out to hear and feel you cry like that.”

Rachel hiccupped, and the tears started again as she let it all out. Eli held her and gently rocked the whole time until she felt utterly deflated.

In the telling, she realized she should’ve taken Emma more seriously when she asked at her postpartum follow-up if she’d been feeling blue. To all appearances, Rachel had a perfect life and had answered “No.” To say otherwise implied that something wasn’t going right. Eli helped with the baby at every opportunity and had been the ideal dad and husband as far as she was concerned.

Obviously coming to the same conclusion, Eli asked, “Do you think it’s postpartum depression and has nothing at all to do with whether everything’s all right or not?”

“Telling you all of that leaves me feeling ungrateful. I should be happy. We are in love. We have a healthy son, and you’re a wonderful provider. I should be fucking ecstatic. Here I sit moping and crying like the world’s crashing down around me.”