CHAPTER TWO
Universal Truths
Piper
ECHOES OF A lost heart beat inside my mind. Trust? Caden's question is a mirror of one asked of me ten months ago.
I'd jumped at the chance then. I'd never met a man like Justin Weber. He was a jumble of tattoos and muscle, a temptation for the good girl who wanted the bad boy with a wild abandon. I fell head over heels with a breathless yes, take me, marry me, give me a baby and come back when you can.
In hindsight, Justin was never really mine. He was a hurricane that materialized out of nowhere. Being zipped into his whirlwind had been so crazy and unsteady and perfectly right all at the same time. Yet I knew deep down as fast as he swept me off my feet, his storm would move on. I knew he wouldn't return. Some sick feeling in the pit of my stomach had said so, but I'd listened to Caden and his promise he'd bring him home.
It didn't happen. But Justin loved me hard, and I don't regret one minute. He was my salvation. I'd never belonged anywhere or to anyone. When I'd needed a drastic change after an ultimatum from my father, I chose Oregon. And Justin. He'd been home for a four-week leave, and I fell for him with the same speed of his storm. Then he left. And then he died. I miss him like he took my heart and my lungs, and there are times I can't breathe.
I just lived through one of those moments with Caden. I hadn't confessed to feeling Justin die before now. It seems impossible, but I know it's true. He was halfway around the world but he was here in Lilyfalls with me that night, and I'm pretty sure he's still around, checking on me as the days click by.
The thought is a pang in my heart, and I rub my chest and then our baby. He kicks so hard my stomach distends with his foot. The confines are getting too small for him, and as much as he's ready for some added leg room, I am too.
Caden's eyes snap down to my burgeoning belly. He's a mess of a man, everything thrown together as if God couldn't decide if he should have brown hair or red. Blue eyes or green, slim or bulging with muscles, and maybe even alive or dead, based on his near-miss from the same firefight that took Justin away. Anger vibrates through him in one breath, and his shoulders relax in the next. The ingredients whip together to make for one hot and sexy cupcake.
That thought confuses me, or maybe it doesn't. I've been dazed for so many months-men are the last thing on my radar. Not to say Caden is on mine. But for the first time in a long while, I can appreciate beauty for what it is.
He steps forward with a hand out as the baby kicks again, but he turns and clamps down his emotions so quickly it's as if he wears a mask.
"I do trust you," I blurt.
Caden was Justin's salvation as much as Justin was mine, and I've no misgivings about his best friend. As much as I'd like to blame someone, he's not the reason I'm about to become a single mother. My anger is spread out at the world because I'm wading in unfamiliar waters without an anchor.
"Come here." I take his fingers and bring them to the baby, pressing them against the slim barrier of fine cotton. Our eyes fix together as we wait. Warmth spreads under the contact. Other than the OB/Gyn office staff and hugs from Cara and her mother, I've not had much physical contact. This is different, more intimate as we share a moment meant for a ghost rather than him, but it's good, and I'm happy Caden can experience it in Justin's absence.
"Damn," he says, tugging away at the first kick.
I bring his hand back because I can tell Wrestle Mania is just beginning when the baby reacts to his voice.
"I think he likes you. Talk to him."
His brow crumbles. "What do I say?"
"Anything. Tell him about your day. Lord knows he's probably anxious to hear someone else's voice instead of my singing."
Caden tugs at his lips with his other hand, and drops to his knees with a startling gracefulness for a man nearly as tall as my ceiling. He looks up, catching my eyes with his steely stare. "This okay?"
I nod. "Go ahead."
As I say it, the baby jabs him again, and he smiles. "Hey, little guy. Be nice to your momma; she's doing a lot of work for you right now, and she will your whole life too."
Another punch is like a high five and the two get into a back and forth about Caden's cross-country drive and finding Gus. At the mention of his name, the pup joins in, and Caden lifts him for a playful paw at my belly. For the first time in months a smile that is more than skin-deep peels up the corner of my mouth. I relax, holding my lower back as Caden laughs, drawing a map across my skin to mimic the journey that brought him here to meet his new best friend. Emotion clogs my throat and I look away, blinking back tears that constantly threaten. I refuse to cry. I won't. I'm hell-bent on celebrating Justin's life and the baby he gave me. Tears have no place in our party for three.