Sound of Silence(33)

I bust past him to get JT. Gus cries but Caden grabs me before I'm halfway there. "Just stop and think about this." The command in his voice is not lost on me. But I'm not one of his brothers on the field, and it does little to soften my stance. I stare at his fingers on my arm, then at him and his eyes as they darken, the same unbridled tension stiffening my spine. "You're acting . . ."

"Like what?" I prod at his hesitation.

"Ungrateful."

Ungrateful? The word stumps me, halts my meltdown with a "hmph," and my arms cross again while I think about his perspective. It pisses me off. His outlook is so narrow. But the pause opens my eyes to what he's trying to do for me and JT, and my anger slowly dissipates. He's a fixer. I don't see myself as being in the junkyard, not after having been under lock and key so tight I could barely breathe as a child. His needs and mine are so different they scream incompatibility, and I'm thankful for this intervention.

Living with him in such close quarters scrambled my brain and set my desire for intimacy on high alert. But it can't be with him-we have different goals. Without boundaries, we were headed into the bedroom. The truth is I'll find nothing but trouble under the sheets with Caden Lawless.

"You're so right." I relax with my newfound assessment. Eight weeks post-delivery I got my waist back and my mind too. Hallelujah. "My temper gets the best of me sometimes. Good thing the kitchen is empty or you may have had a mess on your new floor."

His shoulders drop, but he stares at me as if I'll bolt out the front door the minute he lets go. I pepper him with a smile and a kiss to his cheek. Both do little to ease his tense brow. "I appreciate everything you've done. Really. At this moment, I absolve you of the commitment Justin bestowed upon you." 

"Piper," he says in warning, and my grin grows bigger.

"I won't be bullied into this house, not by you or some asinine obligation you can't let go of. You can see JT anytime you want-just stop over. Or I'll bring him here. Trust me, you'll enjoy the silence."

His features crumble. My strong, lighthearted but stoic friend breaks apart before my eyes. He squeezes his lids shut and then covers his face with his hands on a long, painful groan.

"Caden?"

"I can't." He grabs for me, tugging me against his chest and burying his nose in my neck. His breath punches into my skin in quick pants, and his heart races under my cheek, too fast. Panic oozes from him as his grip on me tightens. I let him hold me. I let him pick me up until I lose my footing, and I'm suspended with only his strength as my connection to the Earth.

"Talk to me," I whisper.

Seconds turn into a minute, and when he finally speaks his voice is thick with emotion. "I can't sleep on that couch anymore. My back is killing me."

I laugh because I know he's trying to lighten the moment, but the forced sound comes out all wrong, as if I'm choking on the lump in my throat. "Then it's a good thing you don't have to. Take me on a tour. I'm sure you stashed away a big ole bed somewhere in this gigantic place."

His mouth finds my ear, his warm breath slowing as he breathes me in. "This stopped being about Justin a long time ago for me. You and JT are not my duty. I don't want to be alone. Not now. I need you with me, and I want it to be here."

When his words sink in, all of the tension within me melts, as do I against his strong frame. He is my savior of sorts, forced upon me at first but now? Now he's in our life because I want him here. I want to be with him too. That realization sucker punches the air from my lungs and I choke out, "This is what you've been working on every day? Why didn't you tell me?"

Caden sets me down, but he presses his forehead to mine as my toes touch the ground. "I started when I was nineteen. Each leave I would come back to Lilyfalls and work on my future. This is where I want you and JT. Please." His eyes catch mine, imploring.

"Why? Why do you need us here?" I ask, fearing the answer as much as I need to hear it.

"Because I like you." His face pales as he says it, licking his lips before adding, "I like to hear you sing, and listen to you count out the ingredients one by one when you make God knows what. And your dance moves, and your hair, and your smile and voice. I like you, Piper. And JT, God, I can't go a day without seeing him. It'd be losing my left arm when I already lost my right. I finished this place with you in mind, and the thought of living in it alone never crossed my mind. Not since I came home."

I sigh, more confused now than I was five minutes ago. "I told myself I wouldn't be reliant on another person, not ever again, and here you are asking me to give into everything I pledged never to do. How can I give you that? How can I give you this piece of me?"