Indecision confuses the fuck out of me. So do memories that take me out of the idyllic small town that feels like Disneyland in comparison to war. Battles are fought while Mrs. Donaldson spends twenty minutes in the bakery deciding if she wants chocolate chip or blueberry muffins.
It's hard to swallow and to know where I should be. Here or there?
I laugh, a hard brittle sound my chest constricts around. How ironic I feel something for a woman who belongs to another man. She's so soft. One kiss in one devastating moment, and she tasted like mine. I haven't had sex in almost a year. Deployed and then injured, I spent months in rehab without opportunity. Maybe if I wasn't so hard up Piper wouldn't be so potent to my nerves.
Never in my life have I reacted this way to a woman. I haven't liked one before, not like Piper. I loved Leah, but with the enthusiasm of a kid getting laid on a daily basis. It was easy, and we were young-too young for a long-term commitment. Then I spent twelve years fucking for fun. When Justin told me about this girl and how fast he fell, I shook my head and wished him luck. Now, I get it. I blame her eyes, endless pools of possibility. In less than a week, Piper destroyed me with anger, held me while I wept like a baby, and built me back up with a pseudo family. Justin sent me here to pick up her pieces, but all I can think about is putting her back together with my soul wrapped around hers. I need to belong somewhere and to someone. Piper and the baby feel like a good fit, which rounds me back to the guilt eating at my insides. They don't belong to me.
It's been three days. I can't remember where I found comfort before I arrived, but my back knows it was not on the couch in Piper's living room. The floor is better, but not by much. I stretch through stiffness my run couldn't alleviate. More fuel to finish this place so I can have my own damn bed. I take a quick walk-through. Windows and doors protect it from outside elements, but the inside is a blank slate. It's a bigger job than I can manage alone over the next couple of months.
I head down to Dax and Cara's place at the bottom of an incline. Both houses are built on land left to us by our paternal grandfather. I'd guess it was his way to make up for the son he raised who ditched his family, and to ensure we had a future in Lilyfalls. Pops also gave us a good chunk of cash to go along with it.
Rocks and trees give way to the lush lawn surrounding Dax and Cara's sprawling ranch. Before I can make myself known, Willow flies out of the house, and barrels into my chest as I kneel to greet her.
"Uncle Cade!"
"How's my baby girl?" I peel back from her hug to find her pushing wild light brown hair from her face.
"Guess who's getting married?"
"You, to Prince Baxter," I say, picking her up and maneuvering us under the lanai.
"Silly, he's full of stuffing."
"No?" My feigned shock brings her brow down and her hand on her hip. Four going on fourteen is more like it. Then she leans forward to whisper in my ear, "A bear, with stuffing inside. But I still love him."
"Of course you do-he's a good guy. When's the wedding?"
"Not me." She rolls her bright blue eyes, and I laugh. "Mommy and Daddy. And I get a pretty dress." Squealing her pleasure, she talks colors and bows, but my head spins from the news that's been ten years in the making.
Dax appears at the sliding glass door with two beers and a smile. "Cara's finally letting me make an honest woman out of her."
"Thanks." I tip the bottle back after he hands it over and drain it halfway. "Where'd this come from?"
He shrugs. Dax is always casual, and today is no different. Man bun, loose jeans frayed at the hems, bare feet, and a one-size-too-small Gilligan's Island T-shirt with some crack about Ginger's assets on the front, is normal attire. But I know this is big news for him-affirmation he's wanted from Cara since they were teens.
"I've asked her once a week since we were twenty. Shocked the hell out of me last night when she said yes."
Willow snags my bloody fingers and huffs. Wiggling free, she promises to come right back. Dax sits, and I join him at the granite-topped table and the wrought-iron chairs nearby.
"Great news, my friend. Welcome to the family, officially." I lean forward and offer my clean right hand in a congratulations that's been a long time coming.
"Thanks." He tips his beer my way. "Cara wants you here for the ceremony. You sticking around?"
"When's the big day?"
"The girls are working on details as we speak. She took Tess over to see Piper three hours ago to start planning. I'm surprised you didn't see them."