"I will."
"Are you back on the serum?"
"No! I would never do such a think without consulting you or the rest of the coven. It is not only me that the serum would affect, but everyone."
I heard the truth of his words and felt a little relieved. But only a little, because there was obviously something going on and we needed to find out the cause of it.
The steaks didn't take long, and soon I had them out of the pan and onto two plates. "If you want wine, then grab us a bottle and two glasses."
He did, and we sat down to the table to eat like two fucking humans having a late night meal. I watched him cut into his steak and take a bite. He paused in chewing and just stared at me.
"What?"
"You were on the serum the last time you were able to eat, right?"
He swallowed his food and glared at me. "You don't believe me, do you?"
"Oh, no, I believe you. It's just that&" I gestured to the table and the food. "Don't you find this a little bit familiar? Have you tested yourself in sunlight?"
"It is so familiar that it scares me." Lucien shook his head. "No, I have not tested the light of the sun. Doing so and having nothing happen would probably scare me to death."
He really was scared. Something was wrong with him, had turned his world upside down, and he had no clue what was causing it. I reached across the table and took one of his hands in mine.
"Have you talked to Cecil about this?"
"No! I have told no one."
"No one but Sabaan, you mean?"
"I could not hide it from him. He's been after me for months to come forward. I know he's tired of me and my secrets."
"Brownie points for him." I pulled my hand away and cut into my steak. "We need to figure out what we're going to do, but for now, we can't tell anyone about this. Not yet. If we do and have no explanations for the cause, you will appear weak."
"Tell me something I don't know." Lucien sat back and watched me eat for a while. "Now that you know my big secret, why don't you tell me yours?"
"Don't make me do that."
"It is only fair, is it not? Do we not want to bring the honesty back to our relationship?"
"Oh, don't go throwing the relationship card, Lucien. You've held your secrets close for longer than I've had mine. I keep mine because to not keep them would be to hurt people other than you and me."
"That was unfair of me," he said finally.
"Yeah, it was." I pushed my plate away and poured another glass of wine. "Want some?"
He shook his head and kept staring at me.
"What?"
"I miss you."
"I'm sitting right here."
"I miss us, to be more accurate. This? This isn't us. This is two acquaintances sharing a meal and arguing over secrets."
I was inclined to agree. "I tell you what. I'll tell you my secrets if you answer me one question."
"What question would that be?"
"When you brought me over and the bond between me and Xander was destroyed. Did you know of a way to get it back? And if so, did you choose not to?" Lucien looked away and I had my answer. I rose to my feet and shook my head. "You bastard! You do not get to make those kinds of decisions for me!"
"At the time, I thought it was for the best."
"You and who else?"
"You do not want to know the answer to that question."
"Yeah? Why not?"
"Because it was me," Nikolas said from the doorway.
Nikolas' words hit me like a freight train and it was all I could do to keep standing. I turned to look at him, shaking my head. "I trusted you, Nikolas."
"And I couldn't let Xander have what was mine."
Chapter Twelve
"What do you mean what was yours?" Lucien surged from his chair, and suddenly the only thing between him and Nikolas was me. "How dare you!
Nikolas held his hands up and shook his head. "I'm not doing this right now."
"The hell you're not."
He turned and walked out of the room and Lucien pushed me aside. I caught his arm as he tried to move past me. "Don't do this, Lucien."
"I can't believe that you expect me to let him walk out of here after that."
"Actually, I do."
"You're more delusional than he is."
Lucien stormed out of the kitchen and I stood there for a moment, just&numb. They had both lied to me. The two men I loved the most . who both claimed to love me the most in return . had lied to me. Had kept things from me. And now were about to fight over me.