Soul Mates 04: Secrets(33)

Warm arms enveloped me and pulled me into a broad chest, and I tried to push them away. They held on even tighter, and a kiss was placed to the top of my head.



"What are you doing here?"



"Sabaan said you might need me," Logan whispered. "You want to talk about it?"



I wanted to say no, but found myself nodding. "Please."





Chapter Seven



Logan got up and retrieved the tea kettle from the stove and topped off his cup of tea. The kitchen was oddly empty at this time of night and I was thankful. I didn't need anyone else in here hanging out in order to get the latest gossip.



I toyed with my cup of tea, turning it this way and that, plunking the tea bag up and down. I'd wanted to talk, but I seemed to be having a difficult time even looking at Logan, much less speaking to him. This was the second time he'd caught me on my knees, bawling like a fucking girl.



"Would you rather go somewhere else?"



"Here's fine. I just&"



"Don't know where to start?"



"Sort of." I shrugged. "This is awkward, you know?"



"How so?"



I glanced up at him. "Oh, please don't go psychoanalyzing me."



"Old habits die hard." He leaned across the island counter and put a hand over mine. "Talk to me."



"Things have never been this bad between us, and I'm afraid that instead of getting better with time, everything's just getting worse. I'm scared I'm losing him."



"Lucien?"



"Yes, Lucien."



"Things are fine with Nikolas, though?"



"Okay. This is more than awkward. Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this shit. I mean, it's between us, maybe I should leave it that way."



"Relationships grow and change, and sometimes getting through all of the crap is painful." He withdrew his hand from mine and took a sip of his tea. "But you know what? The ones who make it through and work things out are stronger for it in the long run."



"What if we can't work it out?"



"If you can't, then you come to a place where you can exist alongside one another, but not together." Logan shook his head. "But I don't think it'll come to that."



"You know something I don't?"



"Of course I do," he said with a smile, but the look in his blue eyes was dark, haunted. "Part of my curse."



"Logan, please, if you know what I need to do, tell me."



"If only it was that easy." He started toying with the tea bag in his own cup. "What I hear and pick up sometimes are people's personal thoughts, the war that's going on in their own mind. I can't possibly spill their secrets when they themselves aren't ready to face them."



"That must suck for you."



He shrugged. "Sometimes."



"I love them both, Logan." I swallowed hard, willing away the tears that were trying to form. "I can't imagine my life without both of them."



"Nikolas knows, and he feels the same way, from what I've seen."



It made me smile, just a little. "Kind of freaked me out a little when he mentioned love and mates and all that. I mean, I felt it, but to hear him say it?" I shook my head. "That's just not Nikolas."



"He's changed a lot since he and Sabaan have grown closer."



"You can say that again."



"Can I ask you something?"



"Sure."



"Think back in your relationship with Lucien. When did this jealousy get so out of hand?"



"Oh, God&" I tried to think of just when things were good between the three of us. "It had to be just a little while after I was brought over. Since Xander and I were having issues, Nikolas offered to teach me how to shift and how to control my wolf."



"And that's when you and Nikolas became close?"



I shook my head. "There's always been something between me and Nikolas. I was drawn to him and in this weird way, and the same thing for him. He attacked me once, you know?"



"I recall hearing something about that. Will you tell me about it?"



"Not much to tell. He thought he smelled wolf in me, and I ran like hell like any stupid human would."



"You shot him, right?"



"Several times." I took a sip of my tea and realized my hands were trembling. I set the cup back down on the counter. "He still has the scars."



"You want to know something?" When I shrugged, he smiled. "When you talk about Nikolas, I can see your wolf. Your eyes change colors and they just& It's hard to describe, but I can see how much you care for him."