Soul Mates 04: Secrets(10)

"I killed Lucien."



* * *



I just stared at him, waiting for the rest, or for my mind to tell me that it fucked up and there was a lie in there when I clearly heard none. When he just stared back at me, my knees went weak and I stumbled back, scratching my head in confusion.



"What do you mean, you killed him?"



"I am the reason he was killed so very long ago," Simon answered gently. "It was me who redirected the sword that claimed Lucien's life."



I had no words. All I could do was shake my head and stare at him in disbelief.



Simon sat me down in an armchair and knelt in front of me. "I'd grown too fond of a human I'd been watching over, and I did what I felt was necessary to save his life. But in doing so&"



"You caused another's death.Lucien's death."



Slowly, things I'd heard over the years began falling into place and I could almost see the entire event unfold in my mind. There was no way I could be pissed at him for what he'd done so long ago. He'd done what he thought was right and had made a grave mistake.



Lucien, however, might prove to have a totally different reaction. No, he wouldn't dwell on the past and place blame, but he might have a difficult time wrapping his head around the fact that he could have had a very different life.



"We're never supposed to interfere, but I couldn't stand by and just do nothing."



"So you sought out Lucien's coven so that you could blend in and get rid of some of that guilt?"



"Oh, no, it wasn't like that." Simon shifted uncomfortably where he knelt. "After I was dealt with by my commanders and the other angels of the court, I was cast out. I ended up in London, then Paris&"



"Go on."



"I was a slave, and I worked the ships and docks, just paying my dues." He shrugged. "Until I was sold to a different kind of owner, one that only wanted my body to work. Unfortunately for him, he couldn't touch me without it hurting him, so he sold me to the old master here."



"That's interesting," I said. "You caused Lucien's death, paid a hefty price for it, and then he ends up saving your life. I can't even begin to imagine the guilt you must have felt, that you probably still feel. I see now why you have served so long without question, doing exactly as Lucien has asked, and going above and beyond that."



"At first, yes, I was intent on serving as if to repay a debt that he didn't even know I owed. But after a time, it became much more than that. I got to know Lucien and grew to love him. I serve him out of respect for the man that he is, Peter. Not because I feel I owe him.even if I do. I'm here because I want to be, and because this is my home."



"And it will always be your home."



"Will it? Do you really think Lucien will allow me to stay once he finds out the truth?"



"I can't speak for Lucien, but I really think he will. He might feel conflicted about some things here and there, but ultimately? You're family, whether you like it or not."



"Yeah. So was Caleb."



"Caleb still is and you know it."



He sighed heavily, shaking his head. "I should go."



"No, not yet."



"The meals cannot be late."



"Adam is fully capable of running the kitchen," I said with a smile. "You've taught him well."



Simon went to both knees and sat back, resting his hands in his lap. He was uneasy, his mind going in circles. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead and he gasped, one hand clasping my calf tightly.





"What's wrong, Simon?"



He didn't answer. Instead, he laid his head in my lap. I cradled his cheek with one hand, stroking and smoothing his hair away from his face with the other. He sighed in contentment, and I had to wonder how long it had been since he'd let his guard down like this.



After a while, he rose up a little and pulled his hair back, offering me his neck. I stared at the smooth expanse of pale white flesh and swallowed hard. As tempting as it was, I just& I couldn't. Things happened when I fed from people I cared about, things I couldn't control. Things I refused to burden Simon with.



"Please, Peter."



"Simon. I&"



"Take from me." The words were breathed against my thigh. He set his teeth and bit down and I froze, my entire body going hot. "This is as much for me as it will be for you."



"I can't do it."



"You would refuse me?"



His eyes met mine and in them I saw something I'd never thought to see from Simon: desire. It wasn't exactly for me, but rather for what I might be able to give him. It confused the hell out of me. The longer I contemplated things, the more heated his expression became.