“So am I.” It sounded like Lock might be crying. His large form shook against hers and Kat held him tighter, wishing she could comfort him better. “I love you, Kat,” he whispered brokenly. “And the idea of being torn apart from you tomorrow—of losing what little bond we have between us—it feels like death to me. Like the end of everything.”
“I love you too,” Kat admitted. “And…I feel like I could love Deep. If only he would let me. If only he wanted me to.”
Lock stiffened in her arms. “He won’t. He doesn’t. There’s no point in even considering it. No hope.” A low growl rose in his throat. “Gods, I wish I wasn’t tied to him.”
“Don’t say that,” Kat said softly. “You’re brothers—twins. You ought to be close.”
“How can I want to be close to him when he’s killing the only relationship that ever mattered to me?” Lock demanded. “What he’s doing to you—to us…I cannot forgive it.”
“Of course you can’t.” The new voice startled them both.
Kat jerked her head up to see Deep lounging in the bedroom doorway, one broad shoulder pressed against the door jam. There was a mocking look on his dark face but his eyes were fierce. “Well, well,” he murmured. “You two look so cozy. I’d join you but I don’t think that bed is big enough for three.”
Lock sat up, shielding Kat protectively with his arm. “What are you doing here?” he snarled.
“The same thing you are, dear brother. Little Kat’s pain called to me—dragged me like a magnet all the way across the ship from the Unmated Males section.”
Lock’s brown eyes flashed. “What were you doing there? You’re not unmated!”
Deep raised an eyebrow. “I practically am. Anyway, why should you care?”
Kat looked back and forth between them uneasily. She wasn’t sure exactly what went on in the Unmated Males area—but she thought there must be some kind of sexual element to it. She’d never heard of prostitutes aboard the Mother ship but vague whispers and rumors seemed to indicate that there was some form of release available to the unmated warriors. Which made sense when you considered the uncharted amount of testosterone in the average alpha male Kindred.
“I care because it’s disrespectful to the lady Kat,” Lock growled. “But why should I expect anything different? You disrespect everything and everyone. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”
Deep threw up his hands. “That’s me—I’m just a self-centered bastard, pissing on everything you hold dear. Ruining your life.”
“Yes, you are!” Lock’s hands were curled into fists and his normally mild expression had turned to one of hatred. He started to get off the bed but Kat stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Don’t,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Please, don’t.”
“Let him.” Deep gestured to the half-healed bruises on his face. “If the only way he can express his emotions is through his fists. Why not?”
“Because.” Kat hated how weak she sounded, how her voice trembled. She wanted to say something cutting or witty. Wanted to defuse the tension somehow, the same way she had sometimes when she was a little girl and her parents fought. If you can make them laugh or make them hate you instead of each other, they’ll stop fighting, whispered a little voice in her head. And maybe they won’t hit each other anymore… But nothing came to mind. “Please,” she repeated softly. “Please, just don’t.”
“I won’t, my lady, forgive me.” Lock gathered her protectively into his arms. “I’m sorry we upset you,” he murmured into her hair.
Kat closed her eyes, feeling bombarded by their emotions. Lock was feeling sorrow/worry/protectiveness and Deep was filled with despair/rage/hatred.
No, not just hatred…self-hatred. Kat opened her eyes to see the dark twin smirking at her, an insolent expression on his handsome features. But underneath that look of indifferent scorn, she thought she saw a flash of something else. A sorrow so deep it was nearly unbearable. A desolation so dark it made her heart knot like a fist in her chest.
“Guess I’ll leave and let you two finish comforting each other,” he said.
“Wait!” The skin to skin contact she’d had with Lock gave Kat the strength to jump out of bed and run after Deep as he was turning for the door. “Wait,” she demanded again, putting a hand on his arm.
“What is it now?” Deep growled, turning to face her.