“Not only does it exist, it’s our ticket out of here.” Kat leaned down to sniff one pure white flower. “Mmm, they smell good too.”
Deep started to respond and then he felt Kat’s rush of relief. His fragile hope that she had learned to love him as well as Lock crumbled in that instant.
She’s glad, he thought, his mouth twisting. So glad we’ve found the blossoms. Because now we can take them back to Mother L’rin and Kat can be rid of us forever. Rid of me. He had no doubt that Kat would have happily joined with Lock if he himself hadn’t been in the picture. He’d lingered outside the bedroom door after seeing their kiss for a moment, intending to go back in. And he knew what Kat meant when she told Lock that he “came with a lot of baggage.”
More Earth vernacular, he thought bitterly. Just another way of saying I’m not the one she wants.
He’d fooled himself into thinking that she cared for him—that she loved him as he had so stupidly allowed himself to start loving her. But it wasn’t true—she couldn’t wait to get the Moons blossom and leave—he could feel the impatience to be away coming from her already.
It doesn’t matter anyway, Deep told himself grimly. I’m no good for her—just look at my past. At what happened to Miranda. I don’t want that to happen to Kat, even if she doesn’t care for me. I couldn’t bear it if…But he couldn’t make himself finish the grim thought. Instead he watched as his brother helped the woman they both loved gather the rare, mystical blossoms. They were laughing as they did and Kat was tickling Lock under the chin with one of the two-headed flowers.
Lock is good for her, Deep realized. He’s the one she ought to be with. Not me and not both of us. Just him. The concept of one of them having a female without the other was so foreign to him it was hard to contemplate, but he knew it was true.
It didn’t matter who he thought Kat belonged with, though. They had the Moons blossoms—or fifi flowers, as she called them. Mother L’rin would be able to brew a potion to separate Kat from both of them.
By this time tomorrow we will be two and one again instead of three, Deep thought. That’s a good thing—good for all of us. But though he tried, he could feel no joy at the idea. All he felt was achingly empty.
Chapter Twenty-one
Sophie turned on her side again and flipped her pillow, hoping the new position would help her fall asleep. It didn’t, though she was tired enough. She’d started her new part time job at the elementary school aboard the Mother ship and the little ones had just about worn her out.
Sylvan had told her she could just stay home and concentrate on her art but Sophie had decided she needed an occupation outside the home to keep from going crazy. Besides, she adored kids and teaching them to paint and draw and use modeling clay was great.
But it wasn’t her new job that was on her mind now. Something else was keeping her restless and wakeful.
With a sigh, Sophie turned over again, facing Sylvan’s broad, bare back. He was breathing deeply and she knew he must have had a hard day at the med station. There had been a big influx of wounded that day from a scrimmage with the Scourge and he’d been going from morning until night with barely a pause.
Sophie sighed softly. If only the thoughts and images would leave her alone. If only—
“Sophia?” Sylvan turned over to face her, his eyes glowing a faint blue in the dark. “Are you all right?”
“I’m sorry,” Sophie said contritely. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I know how tired you are.”
“It’s all right.” Reaching out, he cupped her cheek gently. “I can tell you have something on your mind.”
“It’s nothing,” Sophie protested. “Go back to sleep.”
“I’m awake now so you might as well talk. Come on, Talana. Tell me what’s troubling you.”
Sophie sat up and ran a hand through her hair. “It’s Lauren—I can’t get her out of my head. I keep imagining what that horrible AllFather must be doing to her and I feel so bad. I mean, that could have been me. It would have been if you hadn’t found me in time.”
“Sophia…” Sylvan sat up beside her and drew her close to his side. In the darkness he felt warm and solid and his muscular arm around her shoulder was very comforting. “I know you feel bad for your kin but you can’t dwell on it,” he said softly, his deep voice rumbling through her. “There’s nothing we can do at the moment—no way to trace her.”
“I wish Deep and Lock were here,” Sophie said mournfully. “Maybe they could locate her doing their seeker/finder thing.”