“Oh, uh…okay.” Kat tried not to let the surprise show on her face but clearly he could feel it through their link.
“It surprises you?” Deep asked, settling her more firmly against him. “That I would want to touch you—to be near you—for any kind of nonsexual reason?”
“It’s not sexual?” she blurted. “I mean, you do have your shirt off and I’m wearing a really thin dress with no bra—”
“Does this feel sexual to you?” He shifted his hips, pressing up against her. The intimate contact made it obvious that he wasn’t hard.
“Uh no,” Kat admitted. “No, I guess not.”
“It can’t be sexual—not without Lock. And I don’t want it to be,” Deep said softly. “Don’t want you to think that’s all there is—to think that’s all I want from you.”
“What do you want?” Kat looked up at him, honestly confused.
“Right now? Just to hold you.” He kissed her gently on the forehead.
“But the pain—”
“Believe me, little Kat, the pain of not holding you is much worse than any discomfort I get from a little skin-to-skin contact.” Deep stroked her back. “Do you believe me?”
“Yes.” She nodded slowly. “I don’t understand but…I do believe you.”
“Thank you. Now relax and be still.”
They sat in silence for a long while—how long, Kat didn’t know. There seemed to be no time in the dark, cool cave. Just the sound of their breathing and the faint thunder of Deep’s heart in her ear. She could smell his mating scent—the warm, dark chocolate sex smell which had made her feel so threatened before. But it didn’t scare her now. She breathed it in gratefully, glad for its soothing effect on her nerves. Safe, it seemed to whisper deep in the primitive part of her brain. As long as you’re in his arms you’re safe. This male will kill or die to protect you. Safe.
Kat relaxed and though she never would have believed it possible, she felt strangely content. She didn’t feel anger or hurt or irritation coming from Deep, either. He seemed to somehow be perfectly at peace—as though something had calmed the roiling storm of negative emotions that seemed to constantly fill him. Something or someone. Could it be her? Was she the reason he was calmer now, at peace? But how could that be right? Could it be that Deep cared for her…even loved her the way she knew Lock did?
The thought was so wholly foreign that Kat pushed it away at first. Why would he feel that way about me? He can’t stand me—we get on each other’s nerves. But then why had he taken her pain? Why was he, even now, allowing himself to be hurt for her sake? Could it be more than his Kindred sense of duty toward a female he had sworn to protect?
Experimentally, Kat shifted in his arms. Leaning even closer, she put her right arm around his waist and rested it lightly on his broad back. Deep stiffened at first but he didn’t tell her to stop, even when she traced one of the raised, ridged scars with a careful finger.
“Tell me about these,” she said softly, looking up at him. “Please?”
He shifted uncomfortably. “What do you want to know?”
“How you got them. Why you got them.”
“I told you—”
“And tell me the truth,” she said, before he could finish the lie. “I already know it—I just want to hear it from you.”
“If you already know, why do you want me to say it?” he demanded. “How did you find out, anyway? Did Mother L’rin tell you?”
“More like she reminded me of it. I…I saw it in a dream,” Kat confessed, not sure how he would take it. “I think it was while I was unconscious—when you two first brought me to the Healing Gardens.”
“So…you were dream sharing with us? With me?” Deep sounded shocked.
“I guess so.” Kat looked up at him. “Does that upset you?”
“It surprises me.” He peered down at her. “I guess I thought there could never be that kind of connection between us.”
“Why?” asked Kat, honestly curious. “I mean, why not? After the connection we shared during the joinings we did, it doesn’t seem so strange.”
“One doesn’t necessarily equate with the other. Just because we—”
“Deep,” she interrupted softly. “We’re getting off the subject. Why did you take my pain?”
“Someone had to.” His voice was rough and low and he wouldn’t look at her. “Mother L’rin said you’d die otherwise. I…couldn’t let that happen.”