Sought(133)

Deep smiled sadly. “Yes. Don’t worry, I won’t mock you.”

“That’s a change.” She gave him a tiny smile back. “Anyway, I noticed that when both of you were in harmony, when you were loving each other and…and caring for me, it was wonderful feeling your emotions. Like being filled with sunshine. I think that’s when I began to feel less opposed to the idea of being bonded to both of you permanently, even if it was an unconscious rather than a conscious decision.”

Deep sighed. “Lock and I haven’t had many of those brotherly moments lately. I’ve made him hate me—just as I tried my damndest to make you hate me, Kat.”

“Well, you never really succeeded.” She squeezed his hand. “Although I certainly thought you were an asshole.”

“I was,” he said seriously. “And a bastard and any other Earth vernacular names you can think of to call me. But worst of all, I was a fool. Lock and I could have had you in our lives forever if I hadn’t been so arrogant and cowardly. Now…there’s nothing I can do except admit my faults to you and say goodbye.”

“Deep—” she started to protest but he shook his head.

“I do not ask for your forgiveness. I know full well I am beyond redemption.” He sighed and looked into her eyes. “But please let me say it once more—I love you, Katrina O’Connor of Earth. I love you with everything that is in me. I will never forgive myself for the way my foolish actions have harmed you. And for this…” he brushed her wounded cheek with his fingertips. Kat felt the tingle and knew the curling green lines must have progressed. But she didn’t pull away from his touch.

Deep studied her eyes for a long moment. Searching for something, Kat thought. But what? If he was searching for hatred or recrimination he didn’t find it. Even though she was going to die, Kat couldn’t bring herself to hate him. He had acted horribly but in the end, it was her best interest he’d had in mind. He was trying to save me…save me from himself. And now it’s too late.

“Kat…” Deep’s voice was filled with need. He pulled her close and Kat didn’t fight him. She expected a desperate, burning kiss filled with passion and Deep didn’t disappoint her. But then, suddenly, the kiss turned gentle and his touch was soothing rather than demanding. This is how he could be all the time, if only he let himself, she thought as he deepened the kiss, sucking her lower lip tenderly before exploring her mouth. If he could let go of his past, his bitterness, his fear. If he could have let himself admit he loved me before it was too late…

She clung desperately to him, her heart drumming in her ears, feeling like she was going to die if he let her go. But you’re going to die anyway, no matter what, a little voice in her head reminded her. Kat pushed it away. She didn’t want to think of that right now. She just wanted to let herself melt against Deep and know, finally truly know that he loved her.

Even if it was too late.

At last he pulled back and studied her face. “Thank you.” His voice was hoarse and there was a bright sheen of tears in his bottomless black eyes. “Thank you for not hating me.”

“Deep, I could never—”

“Forgive me, but we need to use the viewing room.” Two Beast Kindred officers came in with Olivia and Sophie trailing behind them.

“Sorry,” Liv said. “We tried to stop them.”

“That’s all right.” Deep straightened and nodded at them. “I think we’re finished here. Aren’t we, little Kat?”

“I…I guess so.” She wasn’t sure why but she had the feeling that she needed to say or do something else. But what? What else could she do but let Deep go as he seemed intent on doing. There is one thing I can do, though, she thought. “Deep,” she called as he turned for the door.

“Yes?” He turned back for a moment.

“Please, if you meant what you said, tell Lock everything you just told me,” she said quietly. “He needs to hear it as much as I did. Maybe even more.”

A grim look crossed his face. “Don’t worry, little Kat. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Then he turned again and was gone, through the doorway as silent as a ghost.

Kat watched him go, strangely troubled. But then Sophie and Liv were taking her by the hand and leading her out of the viewing room. I’ll see him again, she promised herself. Before it’s too late, I’ll see him one last time.





* * * * *


Lock packed slowly, putting his clothing into the compressor and watching as the machine minimized each item and spit it neatly into the waiting box. Using the handy little contraption, an entire household full of items could be packed in one or two small crates, making moving out much easier. Physically, anyway. Emotionally, he was torn.