That must be it! Kat thought excitedly. That must be why he—
And then a pain like nothing she had ever felt before stabbed into her very soul.
Part of her was being removed—and not neatly and cleanly like a knife would cut it either. It felt like it was being pulled out like a tooth by a sadistic dentist with no Novocain. Psychic-knife my ass, she thought wretchedly. More like psychic-pliers. It occurred to her that the pain was on purpose—that the instrument they were in wasn’t meant to sever the bonds between a Kindred and his bride quickly and cleanly, but to draw the process out and make it even worse. Lock hadn’t called it a torture device for nothing—he’d been absolutely right.
As the pain grew, Kat moaned in agony. God it hurt! Hurt more than anything she’d ever felt in her life and the worst thing was, the pain wasn’t physical. It went deeper than that—into the very core of her being. The part that was being removed from her was something she needed—something she had to have to survive. It was like someone was cutting out a piece of her heart and she could feel every cruel stroke of the butcher’s dull knife. She writhed against the curving wall, feeling like she was being gutted and turned inside out like a fish. Feeling like she was going to die if it didn’t stop…
She wasn’t sure how long it went on but from the hoarse cries to either side of her, she could tell that Deep and Lock were experiencing the same thing. She longed to comfort them and to draw comfort from the feeling of their strong arms around her. But would she ever be able to touch them that way again? Would she ever—
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, everything was over. The pain ceased and the machine stopped spinning with a sickening jolt.
“Is…is it over?” Finding that she could move again, Kat raised a trembling hand to her head and then ran her fingers down the front of her body. Am I all right? All in one piece? It seemed like she must have some visible, tangible wound after going through such a horrible experience. But her seeking fingers didn’t feel anything sticky and warm—she wasn’t bleeding. At least not outwardly. She wondered about what was going on inside though. And what was going on with Deep and Lock? Instinctively, forgetting that their connection had been cut, she reached out for them, wanting to know how they were feeling. To reassure herself that they were both all right.
“My lady, are you well?” Lock asked in a low, trembling voice. Kat could feel the waves of tension and fear coming from him—pretty much what she was feeling herself.
“I…I think so,” she said. “Are you?”
“I will be, when we get out of here.”
“Deep?” Kat asked. “Are you okay?”
There was a low rustling sound. “Yes,” he said at last. “I’m fine.”
“You bastard,” Lock said, addressing his brother. “You never said it would hurt like that. I’ve never experienced such pain. And to put the lady Kat through it too—you’re a monster.”
“I didn’t know.” Deep’s voice was hoarse, filled with horror and pain. “Forgive me—I thought with just a partial bond—”
He said something else but Kat didn’t catch it. She was too busy noticing that while she could hear the pain in his voice, she couldn’t feel any of it. Frantically, she tried harder, reaching out with the part of herself that had somehow grown during the time she and the twins had been bonded. But for all her seeking she encountered…nothing.
Oh my God, no…No! Kat knew in the past she would have been overjoyed not to feel Deep’s dark, negative emotions crowding her head, but now she felt only dismay and traumatic loss. It was as though she’d looked down and suddenly realized that someone had cut off one of her hands.
“Deep,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “What’s going on? I can feel Lock but when I try to reach you…”
“It’s the same for me.” Lock sounded, if anything, even more horrified than Kat. “I can feel you, my lady but when I reach for Deep…nothing.” She felt his terror—the sudden sense of loss, the realization that after a lifetime of being half of a whole, he was now just a half. “Brother,” he said, his deep voice shaking. “What…what have you done?”
“You don’t have to call me that anymore.” Deep’s tone was one of utter desolation. “You got your wish, Lock. Can’t you tell?”
“I don’t understand.” Kat yanked against her safety harness, trying to get free. If she couldn’t touch Deep with her mind, she needed to touch him with her hands. To make sure he was still there. She had the absurd but somehow compelling notion that he was a ghost now—something she could hear but would never be able to see again. I need to feel him under my hands, need to smell his skin, touch his hair…