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Something in the Way(29)

By:Jessica Hawkins


Manning tensed in his seat. "Is that the guy from the fair?" he asked.

Tiffany and I followed his line of sight to Corbin Swenson, who looked  as tall and swoony as ever in a sweatshirt, jeans, and skate shoes.  Corbin walked toward us, his hood pulled over his head, hands shoved in  the hoodie's front pocket.

"Corbin!" Gary said. "You made it."

Corbin opened his arms. "You wanted a baseball all-star, here I am."

"I didn't know you'd be here," Tiffany said. "You weren't at any of the meetings."

"Lake knew." Corbin winked at me, and Tiffany and Manning looked over.

"I asked him to drive up for a day to play some ball tomorrow," Gary said.

"Maybe teach these boys a few things," Corbin added.

"What's wrong with just throwing the ball around?" Manning asked.

"Nothing." Corbin shrugged as he and Manning locked eyes. "But when you  have access to an all-star, might as well take advantage. I came here as  a kid. Same as Lake."

It was a weird sensation to hear a Swenson say my name at all, but to have him do it in front of everyone made me giddy.

"So proud of you, man," Gary said. "Take a seat."

Corbin grabbed two chairs, and everyone but Manning scooted to open the  circle for him. Maybe because of that, Corbin set both seats down on the  other side of Manning. "Looks like you could use one of your own," he  said to me, since Tiffany and I were sharing.

"I'm fine where I am," Tiffany replied, putting her hand on Manning's knee.

"I was talking to Lake," Corbin said.

With all eyes on me, including Manning's burning stare, I went to sit between Manning and Corbin.

Corbin took his hood down, ruffling a hand through his honey-colored hair. "How's your summer been?" he asked.

"Fine." Nobody spoke. I had the distinct feeling they were all listening to our conversation. "Keeping busy."

"'Course you are. Every time I see you, you're reading or with friends, or," he clucked his tongue, "eating cotton candy."

Oh, God. Corbin Swenson was flirting with me, and all I wanted to do was  check to see if Manning was watching. Was he maybe just a little  jealous? "You make it sound like I just screw around all day."

"Don't you?" he asked. "It's summer."

"No. My dad doesn't let me. That's why I was reading at the beach. For school."

"Ahh." He sat back in his seat, crossing an ankle over his knee. "Charles, right? That's your dad? My old man works with him."

"I know."

"So you're not screwing around here?"

"No. This is for my college apps. Just don't tell my dad I enjoy it."

We smiled at each other.

"I sense a love connection," Gary said, waggling his eyebrows at me. He sat forward. "But listen, you two-"

"Leave that stuff at home," everyone recited and before erupting in laughter.

"All right, all right," Gary said. "I just expect you guys to set a good example for the kids. No alcohol, no sex."

"Unless you're the one having it?" Tiffany teased.

More giggling.

"You're all a bunch of degenerates," Gary said. He stood and stretched.  "I need my beauty rest. Remember-Reflection is at seven tomorrow morning  and not a minute later. Last cabin to show gets dining hall cleanup  duty."

Hannah and I exchanged looks. "It won't be us."

Corbin got up, too, and gently touched my shoulder. "I'll be right back.  I've got a few questions for Gary about tomorrow. Don't go."

I just nodded, watching him walk away.

"I'm bored," Tiffany said.

"There's a deck of cards," Manning said. "We could play a game."

"With alcohol?"

"Christ, Tiffany. I already told you no."

"I said I was bored, not fifty. I don't want to play cards."

"You don't have to." Manning nodded at a group of counselors across the hall. "You know any of them?"                       
       
           



       

"No."

"Why don't you go introduce yourself? Part of this experience is meeting new people."

"Because, I'd rather do other things, like . . ." Tiffany inched her chair closer to him and whispered in his ear.

Manning kept his eyes on the floor. "We can't."

"Why not?"

"You know why." His eyes shifted to my feet but stayed down as he stammered, "We're not . . . and I promised your mom."

"She isn't here." She tugged on his arm. "Can we go for a walk?"

He blew out a sigh. "I'll make you a deal. You go over and say hi, make some small talk, and then we can go for a walk."

She rolled her eyes but stood. "Okay, fine. Will you come with me?"

"Yeah. I'll be right there."

I couldn't look at Manning. My face burned just thinking of them out  there alone doing things you could only whisper-now, later, the rest of  the week. One minute, I swore he and I had some unearthly connection.  And then there were moments like this one, where I questioned how well I  really knew him.

He leaned his elbows onto his knees and spoke for my ears only. "We're just going outside for a cigarette. That's all."

"You said you weren't going to smoke at all."

"No, I said I'd figure it out." He cleared his throat. "You know how hard it is to go all day without one cigarette?"

"Would you quit if I asked you to?"

He blinked slowly, as if seeing me for the first time. "What?"

"If I asked you to quit, would you?"

"Why?"

"It's not healthy."

"I don't do it in front of you."

My mouth fell open. "Yes you do."

"When? Name one time."

I thought back to the day I'd met him and the night of the fair and the  time I'd gone looking for him on the site. He'd held cigarettes, put  them behind his ear, even stuck them in his lips. But he'd never lit  one, or if he had, he'd put it out as soon as I'd gotten near. It hadn't  occurred to me that was on purpose. I could recall the smell of smoke  being near him, though. I could almost taste the bitterness on his  mouth.

"You can't think of one because it didn't happen," he said.

I opened my eyes, not realizing I'd closed them. My mouth was watering.  "You're right. But I'm not asking you to quit for me. It's because I  care about you. I care enough that I want you to stop hurting yourself."

I'd never seen him look speechless. Quiet? Yes. Stoic? Definitely. But  not speechless. "I will quit. One day. Soon." He swallowed. "I'm down to  two or three a day." It wasn't good enough, so I didn't respond. "But  if you want me to . . . I'll try harder."

I wanted him to not go outside with Tiffany. Truthfully, I'd come to  like the smell of cigarettes because it reminded me of him, and I'd  cherish the coarse taste on his tongue, the stink, if it meant one kiss,  but more than that, I'd spent my youth learning about how cigarettes  turned your lungs black and killed you over time. I didn't want that for  him. "Try harder," I said.

He gave me a funny look. I hadn't said it rudely, but who was I to tell a grown man how to live?

"All right," he said. "I will."

Tiffany waved at us from the doorway.

"She's waiting for you," I said, turning away in my seat.

"Who?"

"Tiffany."

"Oh." He didn't get up right away. "I'll be back. Stay here."

Whatever. I always did what I was told, whether it came from my parents,  teachers, Tiffany, or, now, Manning. And where had that gotten me?  Here, watching him walk away with her. "Why should I?" I asked.

"Because I don't want you walking around in the woods by yourself at  night. That's reasonable, isn't it?" He didn't wait for my answer, just  stood and left.

What if I did walk alone through the woods at night? Would he put me in  counselor time-out? He had no real power over me. Why should I listen to  anything I said when he was outside with my sister?

"Are you all right?"

I looked up at Corbin, who towered over me. "Yes. I mean, no. I'm tired."

"Long day, huh? Can I walk you back to your cabin?"

Manning had told me to stay put. I knew it was because he cared, but in  that moment, I questioned what that even meant. I stood. "That would be  nice."

Corbin held the door open for me, and we passed into the night. As soon  as we left the glow of the cafeteria, darkness was all around us. "Man, I  love it here," Corbin said as we crossed through the woods. "So  peaceful. I would've done the counselor thing, but I start baseball camp  this week."                       
       
           



       

"Are you really on the all-star team?"

"Yep. I'm applying for scholarships, actually."