"We're friends, aren't we?" I asked.
"I already told you we were. I just said we'd always be."
"You don't know that. Are you embarrassed to have a friend my age?"
"No," he said flatly. He looked about to add something and thought better of it. He spoke slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. "You're not that much younger than your sister."
"But we're different."
"I know." He blinked. "How do you think you two are different?"
"She's pretty."
He shut his eyes and inhaled a deep breath. "She is."
It wasn't the reassurance I wanted. Maybe he thought I was fishing for a compliment, and I was, so why couldn't he just tell me I was pretty, too? Was that so bad? I wouldn't read anything into it. I was ninety-nine percent sure about that.
"Someday," Manning said, almost to himself, "when you're older and wiser, looking back on this, you'll understand."
"When?"
"I can't tell you that, because I'm not even sure I understand."
That wasn't fair. Maybe he didn't know exactly what he felt about me, but he had some idea, and he expected me not to wonder about it. I would wonder and think hard about it now-not ‘someday' when it might be too late. When he was already gone. I wasn't convinced Manning wanted Tiffany, or even that she wanted him. So what was the link between them? When one didn't want the other, what had kept them together the past month?
"I said someday," Manning said, breaking the silence. "Not now."
"I can't wait that long."
He grinned at me. "There's no hidden prize or anything. Just understanding that comes with time and age." He looked at my bare legs and quickly away again, as if it were a habit he was trying to break. "You know our conversations-they stay between us. Right? You know that?"
I nodded. Our time together was precious and not to be shared. "I know."
"All right. Let's talk about something interesting." He sat up again and scratched his chin, thinking. "If you won a contest on the radio to go anywhere in the world and you had to leave tomorrow night, where would you go?"
"Big Bear," I said.
He laughed. "But you'll already be there."
So will you. I wasn't brave enough to say it. Instead I asked, "What was Tiffany's answer?"
"I didn't ask her."
A thrill ran up my spine. This was mine. "I have to think about it."
"That's fine." He turned to me, giving me his full attention. "We have time. I want to know."
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I care," he said. "I care very much."
14
Lake
Something about a dining hall full of humans under fourteen amplified everything. Counselors shouted over kids excited to be away from home for a week. Trays banged against tables, silverware against plastic dishes. The camp's kitchen staff hurried kids down the buffet line. Cooked hamburger meat battled with body odor-I was glad not to eat near the boys.
Cabin nine sat in the middle of the hall with Manning in the center of the picnic-style table. The boys laughed at what he said, looked up at him between bites of sloppy joes, showed him stuff from their pockets.
Peals of giggles at my own table brought my attention back to where it should be. Hannah sat at the opposite end of a long wooden table, eight nine-year-old girls between us. "What's so funny?" I asked.
"Bettina likes Bobby Newman."
In the four hours we'd been here, it wasn't the first boy-talk I'd heard. "Which one's Bobby Newman?"
They all pointed at Manning's table and Bettina turned a bright shade of red. Luckily for her, the only "boy" who noticed was Manning. He sucked his teeth, holding back a grin, as if he knew exactly what we were talking about. Bettina's secret crush. Mine, too.
"What activity are you girls most looking forward to?" Hannah asked.
Reluctantly, I pulled my gaze away from Manning's. Was it fair to feel as if I knew him well enough to say he was happy? I hadn't seen him so relaxed, so quick to laugh and smile, as I had since we'd gotten to the parking lot this morning.
"Horses," one of the girls screamed.
I was the only one at the table who didn't agree. Climbing on a large, unpredictable animal sounded no safer than riding a hunk of unreliable metal into the sky. It was the only activity I'd sit out. Like last year, I planned to wait at the stable while Hannah and the instructors took the girls.
"We have arts and crafts next," I said.
Some of the girls groaned, some tittered. Katie tugged on my sleeve. "Can we make friendship bracelets?"
"Of course." We still had an afternoon full of things to do, so I did a drink check. "Did everyone have at least one full glass of water?"
"Yes," they all replied.
Hannah and I exchanged a look. We'd only gone through one pitcher between thirteen of us. I stood. "I'll get more."
As I waited for a refill from the kitchen staff, Manning came up next to me and set his tray on the buffet. He held his plate out to Bucky, who was packing up the chafing dishes. "Fill her up."
Bucky was a local I recognized from last year. He scrunched his mouth so hard, it almost touched his eyebrows. "No seconds."
"Come on, man. You got plenty left and I'm a growing boy."
He'd just served food to over a hundred kids, but it didn't matter. He always looked that grumpy. "Please, Bucky?" I asked.
He snatched the plate and began shoveling food onto it.
"Do you always get seconds?" I asked.
"Are you calling me fat?"
"I wouldn't quit weightlifting just yet if I were you."
Manning laughed. "I'd ask if you want me to get you seconds, too, but it sounds like you can handle yourself."
I'd eaten everything off my plate but I wasn't satisfied. "There's dessert," I said.
"Yeah? You want some?"
"I'm always hungrier up here."
He took his plate back from Bucky and I got the water pitcher. Manning walked me over to the dessert section, picked out two chocolate puddings, and handed me one. "Are you having fun?" he asked on our way back to our tables.
"Yes, but I knew I would. Are you?"
"I am," he said. "A lot, actually. All the outdoor activities remind me of being a kid again. The boys' enthusiasm is infectious, and it's been a while since . . . I mean, they stink like hell, but they keep me on my toes."
I giggled. Manning's boys were nine, too. Same as last year, some of them hadn't discovered deodorant yet. "Do we have anything together today?" I asked since the same age groups were often paired for activities. "Just asking in case I should bring a face mask."
"I don't know." He nudged my arm with his elbow before stopping at his table. "Guess we'll see."
I went to turn away but stopped. I lowered my voice. "After lights-out, most of the counselors come back to the dining hall to hang out and play games and stuff."
"I heard."
"Will you come?" I asked.
He looked over my head a second. "Maybe."
When I returned to my girls, my smile must've been as bright as a light bulb. I was sure it took up half my face.
"I want dessert, too," one of the girls said. I handed over my pudding without protest.
"Have you seen Tiffany?" Hannah asked, nodding across the cafeteria. "You might want to go check on her."
I looked over. Tiffany had her finger in one of the girls' faces as though she were scolding her. She'd been assigned to a cabin nobody wanted-the twelve-year-old girls. They were vain, boy-crazy, and learning to test boundaries. Part of me thought it was fair payback for how snotty she'd acted at that age, and the other part worried only Tiffany or the girls would survive the week-not both.
I got back up, crossed the hall to cabin eleven, and plopped down next to Tiffany. "How's it going?"
I hadn't meant to sneak up on her, but she jumped a mile high, whirling on me. Dirt streaked her temple, and her normally perfect hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed in a week. "Jesus, Lake. Hell on earth. That's how it's going."
I had to laugh. "It's the first day. Things are always a little crazy."
"You have to get me out of here."
A couple of Tiffany's campers looked over. I shushed her. "They'll hear you."
"I don't care. They're a bunch of brats."
"You're a brat," said one girl.
"Shut up." Tiffany pointed at her. "I told you all to be quiet."
"Tiffany, stop. You can't say that to them."