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Something in the Way(22)

By:Jessica Hawkins


And now that Tiffany was losing interest, I'd have him back. At least until school started. After that, I wasn't sure.

I was about to embrace Tiffany when a loud, sudden knock on the door made us both jump.

"Tiffany?" Dad asked.

As when anyone came to her room, Tiffany snapped at him, as if it was her programmed response. "What?" she asked.

He came in, saw me, and pointed to the bathroom door. "Go to your room, Lake."

He was angry. Again. Normally, I wouldn't question him, but Tiffany had  taken some of the heat tonight that should've been aimed at me. And I  was feeling defensive of her. "Why?" I asked. "So you can be mean to her  some more?"

My dad looked shocked. My first instinct was to apologize, but I didn't. I stayed where I was, my shoulders square.

"It's okay, Lake," Tiffany said. "Just go."

I looked between the two of them. Clearly, they didn't think this  involved me, but it did. It was about Manning. So I went into the  bathroom and pressed my ear to the door.

"What was that tonight?" Dad asked.

Tiffany didn't answer for a few seconds. "What do you mean?"

"You brought a stranger into my home. Someone who could be dangerous.  You made your mother and sister go through the charade of making dinner  and buying expensive wine. Why? What are you trying to prove?"

"Nothing-"

"He's a lowlife, smug construction worker who jumps from job to job.  Once he's done with that house, he doesn't have to show up for work the  next day. What's to stop him from rounding up his friends to rob us in  the middle of the night and leave town?"

I gritted my teeth so hard, my jaw ached. That was completely unfair.  Manning had been nothing but respectful tonight. He'd even made an  effort to look nice.

"He wouldn't do that, which you'd know if you'd given him a chance," Tiffany said. "But you didn't. You were so rude to him."                       
       
           



       

"Oh, please. You don't know anything about that guy. You just want to  fool around. When are you going to grow up? Do your friends get away  with this kind of behavior?"

"You're overreacting."

"I don't want you seeing him again."

"You can't tell me what to do. I'm an adult."

"Then start acting like one. Get a job. Or don't, but if you want to keep living under this roof, you'll do as I say."

"Maybe I don't want to live here anymore."

"No? And where are you going to go with no money? If what you want is to  screw around all day and shop and party, then find a husband who can  afford to take care of you. I guarantee you won't find him on a  construction site."

"You don't even care what I want," she said, her voice rising. "You just  want me to roll over and do everything you say without questioning it.  Like Lake."

"You're nothing like Lake," he snapped.

They went silent. My heart raced, as if I were there, standing in the  room, only it was worse because I couldn't see anything. It was true-I  did do everything my dad asked. And Tiffany did nothing he asked. I  wished, for once, she would just try with him instead of deliberately  pushing his buttons, getting him to say things to hurt her.

Dad spoke first. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I know what you meant," Tiffany said. "I'm not Lake and I never will  be. If you don't like the choices I make, then kick me out. I'm not  going to stop dating someone just because you tell me to."

"I will, Tiffany. Don't test me."

"You'd put your own daughter on the street?"

"If I did, it'd be for your own goddamn good. You need to learn-"

"Fine," she screamed so loud, I actually pulled away from the door. "I'll be gone in the morning."

After a few silent seconds, Dad's footsteps pounded the floor and a door  slammed shut. My breath caught in my throat. Maybe Tiffany and I had  our differences, but oh my God, I didn't want her to be homeless. I had  no idea where she'd even go. Tiffany and I had grown up in this house, a  bathroom apart. I stood there so long, listening to the silence, not  breathing, I started to see stars.

I let myself into her room. "Tiff?"

She was still sitting where she was when I'd left, staring at her door. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

She blinked a few times and turned to me. "Are you? You look like you've seen a ghost."

My hands shook. Tiffany tried so hard to be tough, but I knew she  wasn't. Maybe I was the only one who knew that besides my mom. I  couldn't imagine how it'd feel to be on the receiving end of those  things Dad had said to her. I crossed the room and she opened her arms  right as I launched myself into them. I was the one who started to cry.

"Stop," Tiffany said. She laid us back on the bed, petting my hair. "They're not worth crying over."

"Who?"

"Men."

"Even dad?"

"Especially dad."

I drew my eyebrows together. I wasn't sure what she meant by that. I'd  heard her crying enough times after their fights. "Are you leaving?" I  asked. "I don't want you to go. Please, just go apologize to him."

"I'm not leaving."

"But you said . . ."

"I've said it before. I wasn't serious, and he knows that. He's not going to kick me out."

I couldn't remember any of their arguments ending that way. It was as if  Tiffany wanted to see how far she could push him. I looked up at her.  "Why didn't you just tell him you'd stop seeing Manning?"

"Because that's exactly what he wants. He's trying to control me and you and Mom."

"That's not true," I said. "He just wants what's best for all of us."

"For you and Mom, maybe. Me? He just wants to pretend I never happened. His life would be easier if I weren't around."

She said the words so simply, someone else might've thought they didn't  affect her. That she didn't care. I knew she did, though. How could she  not? He was her dad. Even after all the fights I'd witnessed, I couldn't  believe she truly thought that. "He loves you," I said. "Things are  just weird right now. When you find a job, he'll ease up."

"You don't know anything, Lake. You're too young to understand. I'll  never get the kind of job he wants me to. You will. I'm not going to be a  doctor or a lawyer or any of those boring things. He can't stand that  he's worked as hard as he has to give us opportunities just to have me  waste mine."                       
       
           



       

Tiffany didn't even try. She'd barely studied, and she'd skipped a lot  of classes, especially her senior year. I didn't know if I was smarter  than my sister, but I definitely tried harder. "You could do whatever  you want, Tiffany. If you apply yourself-"

"Shut up," she said without inflection. "You sound like dad. He says that all the time."

"But that fight could've been avoided," I pointed out. "You said you don't even like Manning."

Tiffany blinked up at the ceiling, tilting her head. Her hair tickled my  neck, but I just watched her. Her eyes roamed until she finally said,  "I thought I didn't . . . but maybe I do."

My heart dropped. She couldn't just change her mind back and forth like that. "Why?" I asked. "Just because it makes Dad mad?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It just made me rethink the whole thing, like maybe I didn't give Manning a real chance."

"That doesn't seem fair, using Manning to get back at Dad."

Tiffany tore her eyes from the ceiling to look at me. She pushed me off  and we both sat up. I thought she'd kick me out, but instead she looked  right at me. "I guarantee Manning has done worse than that to a girl.  Men don't care about women. They use them. The sooner you understand  that, the better."

My stomach churned. Not Manning. He wasn't that way. When I looked at  him, spoke to him, we connected. He'd given me Birdy when I was sad.  He'd returned my bracelet. He'd eat anything I made. In my gut, I  knew-he was a good person. "I think it's the other way around," I said  gently. "I've seen guys go crazy for you, and you just ignore them."

Tiffany smiled a little. "That's how you play the game. The truth is,  men think they have power, but they don't. We do. Like tonight, with  Manning. When he wouldn't do what I wanted, I told him not to call me  again and walked away. And you know what he did?"

My heart thumped. I knew. I tried to pretend I didn't, but I did. I'd seen it with my own eyes.

"He kissed me. He puts on a good show-for a while there, I didn't think he liked me at all. But he's just like every other guy."

I knew in my heart that wasn't true, and maybe it made me a bad sister,  but I didn't tell her so. I wanted Tiffany to believe Manning was just  another guy, because then she'd treat him like one. She'd get what she  wanted from him and move on.