Something in the Way(11)

Lake was the only person I'd come across since Maddy who still hadn't  seen anything bad out of life. She was good. You could sense it just  being around her. Not yet jaded. She had dreams, and she believed they'd  come true. She was easy to talk to, ambitious, thoughtful. None of that  meant she was uncomplicated. That day we met, when she'd sat on a curb  with The Grapes of Wrath, I could tell she was having a hard time  concentrating. I remembered Maddy reading a lot, but I'd forgotten that  expression she made when she was trying to figure out a new word or when  something went over her head. Lake made it, too. There were layers to  her you might miss if you weren't paying attention.

My sister's death had turned my world dark, but Lake was light. By her  age, I'd done all sorts of shit-drugs, alcohol, sex. Lake seemed so far  away from that. Pure, naïve, like Maddy would've been. I'd have seen to  it. Maybe wanting that in my life, someone to look over, to shield from  the bad stuff, was wrong considering she was sixteen. Then again, if I'd  done a better job of that with Madison, she might still be around to do  things like this, to take in the night sky from the top of a Ferris  wheel. To taste dyed-pink sugar melting on her tongue. To ask her big  brother for advice.

"What do you want to do after this?" Tiffany asked.

I looked over at her, wondering how long I'd been in my trance. We were  moving now, going in circles, the breeze warm on my face. "Take you  home," I said.

"I don't have a curfew."

"Lake does."

"Oh. Yeah."

People became pins stuck in a 3D map as the buildings below us got  smaller, more like a model of a fair than an actual one. The ocean  stretched on one side of us. Carnival lights reflected orange, purple,  green, and red on the water by the dock. But there wasn't anything but  black beyond that.

"We could just drop Lake off." Tiffany put her hand on my thigh and left  it there, as if deciding her next move. "Drive around for a while."

If this'd been a date, I would've put my arm around her, pulled her  close, kissed her. If I gave her what she wanted now, she'd give me what  I wanted later. I wasn't in the business of turning down sex from  pretty girls. And Tiffany was pretty. A California beach girl, the kind  men dreamed about. No doubt she was also experienced. I wouldn't have to  go slow with her. Not that I minded going slow sometimes. I might've  liked being with a woman for more than sex if I'd ever found it. Had  Tiffany had that before? Did she want it?                       
       
           



       

I put my hand over Tiffany's to see how it'd feel. It didn't answer  anything, but it didn't give me more questions, either. Maybe that was  good. I was pretty sure if I tried to hold Lake's hand, I'd feel  something about it. We'd both be worse off for it.

With the reservations I had, hand-holding was as much as I was ready for  tonight. "I'll take you home after this," I said. "Wouldn't want your  dad to worry."

"He wouldn't," she said softly, looking up at the sky. "Not about me."

I got the feeling this was the real Tiffany. That her bravado was a  front for some insecurities that probably came from her dad. She needed  someone in her corner. "You really think that?"

"We don't get along so well," she said. "In case you didn't pick that up."

I was beginning to. "That's a shame."

"Look how pretty the stars are," she said.

Even though the shift in topic was sudden, it didn't stop a lump from  forming in my throat. I kept my eyes forward. The fucking stars. That  was a place reserved for Maddy. I wasn't willing to go there. "What's  pretty about them?"

She looked at me funny. "What kind of a question is that? They twinkle.  They're . . ." She couldn't come up with anything else. "They're just  pretty. Did you look?"

"I've seen them."

"So if you're going to drop me off early . . . when will I see you again?"

I didn't have an answer. I stretched my arm along the back of the seat.  She took it as an invitation to move into my side. "I'll be back on the  lot Monday."

"I don't mean like that. I was hoping we could, you know, go out."

I knew what she'd meant. I could just say no. I didn't want to lead her  on. But there was no reason, not one, that I should ever see Lake again  if her sister wasn't around.

As the wheel took us around, silence stretched between us.

I didn't tell Tiffany I'd see her again.

I didn't tell her I wouldn't, either.





6





Lake





Standing under the Ferris wheel, watching it go round and round, made me  ill. I did it until I lost track of Manning and Tiffany, then crossed  the pathway and sat on a step eating tufts of cotton candy while I  waited.

A pair of ripped blue jeans stepped in front of me. "Hey."

I looked up into sharp, crystal blue eyes that were a trademark of the  very good-looking, very popular Swenson brothers, Cane, Corey, and the  one blocking my view, Corbin. Blond hair curled out from under a  Billabong hat that sat low on his head, its rigid bill almost shadowing  his face.

Corbin was closest to my age. He stood with a skateboard behind his  head, propped lengthwise on his shoulders, wheels out. He'd covered the  underbelly in stickers. "Don't you go to my high school?" he asked.

Even though I was fairly sure he thought I was someone else, I nodded.

He tapped his chin. "You have, uh, stuff . . ."

Quickly, I wiped my face with my sleeve. "Thanks."

"And your tongue is blue." He grinned. "Why aren't you at that party on Marigold?"

I sat up a little. "Why aren't you? I'm sure all your friends are there."

"I was. It's no big deal." Absentmindedly, he spun one of the  skateboard's wheels with a long finger. A cartoon sticker of a naked  woman peeled at one corner. "So you know who I am?"

I blinked back to his face. "Corbin."

"What's your name?"

"Lake."

"Cool. You skate?"

I ate more of my cotton candy. "No."

"Surf?"

Tiffany and I had gone to a few surf camps over the years. I could  barely stand. Tiffany was better, but she preferred dry land for  sunbathing with her Walkman and magazines.

I figured I'd surfed more than the average teenager, so I shrugged. "Kind of."

"You should come out with me and my brothers sometime. We could use some chicks in the lineup."

"Maybe."

"You here by yourself?"

I still wasn't sure if he thought he was talking to someone else. I  hadn't seen Corbin with any specific girl I could remember, but guys  like him always had a girlfriend. "With my sister."

"Who's your sister?"

"Tiffany."

"Kaplan?" He swung his skateboard in front of his legs and laughed. "Yeah. Makes sense. I see the resemblance now."

I had no idea why that was funny. It happened a lot, people finding out  we were sisters and mentioning "the resemblance." Whether or not it was  just something people said, I usually took it as a compliment. With  Corbin, I wasn't so sure. "How do you know Tiffany?"                       
       
           



       

"From school. And she's friends with my older brother."

"I'm a year below you."

"I know."

Only then did my heart skip a beat, once I realized the most popular guy  in school really was talking to me. Corbin had noticed me. Our high  school wasn't that big, but there were hundreds of students.

"I've seen you around," he added with a smile. It was a nice smile,  too-since he was so tan, his teeth looked unnaturally white. Everyone  knew who the Swensons were. Their dad worked with mine, so the name even  came up a time or two at the dinner table. I could see why girls liked  the brothers with their perpetual surfer tans, their tall and lean  muscular bodies. If I'd thought much about talking to Corbin, I would've  guessed it'd be a bumbling, muttering, stomach-butterflies kind of  thing, but it wasn't. I liked him, and I liked that he didn't make  nervous.

The Ferris wheel stopped. I tried to see around Corbin, then through his  legs, past his skinned knees, but he blocked my view with the  skateboard.

"We went to camp together when we were kids."

"What?"

"Young Cubs," he said. "You know? Camp?"

I looked up at him again. I remembered, but it seemed so long ago. We  were different people then. Kids. "I'm going back this year as a junior  counselor," I said.

"Cool. I'll be there for a day to coach a baseball game, show them how  it's done." He winked. "I'd stay longer, but I have baseball camp that  week."