Something for the Pain(32)

I lean in and kiss under both of her wet eyes. “Absolutely.”

Sitting down, I pull her down with me, positioning her between my legs and wrapping my arms around her. She leans her head back on my shoulder and we sit like this for a while, not speaking. We don’t need to in this moment.

Memphis and Lyric stand beside us, holding each other for as long as they can before they have to say goodbye. Lyric makes sure to give me that look, before jumping into Memphis’ car and driving off.

Tripp and I stay for another hour, just holding each other and remembering the good times. In this moment I love this woman more than the world. Even if I don’t ever tell her I’m going to hold onto this feeling, in this exact moment, for the rest of my life.

This woman has always been my something for the pain, and losing her will feel like dying . . .





AFTER LEAVING THE CEMETERY I called Dax to tell him that I wouldn’t be making it into work today. It’s the first time that I’ve called off, and I honestly don’t regret it. Dax has worked my ass off over the last week and I deserve a little time off, dammit. I want my time with Alex, especially since it could be ending soon. Alex will always come first to me and I don’t care what anyone says. Today was more than worth it.

We spent a couple of hours this morning at Tara’s house, visiting my aunt before she had to run off to work. She made sure to put Alex to work before making us her special brownies and telling us about some guy named Lance she met last week at work. She tried to pretend he was nobody special, but she let it slip that she’s hoping he noticed her new and hip haircut.

Alex made sure to compliment her about fifteen times on her new do before we left, sending her off to work in the best mood I’ve possibly ever seen her in over the course of my damn life.

After leaving my aunt’s we spent the next few hours hanging out in Alex’s room while he sat back on his special chair and played the guitar, singing random songs that I would yell out at him. Watching him play brought a smile to my face, reminding me of a time before things got complicated. He looked so happy and at peace sitting there with that guitar in his arms that I never wanted to pull him out of the zone he was in; but of course, in typical Alex fashion, when he noticed me getting tired he pulled me onto his bed, buried me into his chest, and we both somehow fell asleep while talking about his mom and brother back when things were happy and good. It made me sad to never get to see them that way.

It’s now well past six and I wake up to an empty bed, feeling somewhat lost that Alex somehow managed to slip away from me. Apparently . . . it’s that easy. That reminder is unsettling.

I sit up and run my hands over my face, before groaning when a sick feeling hits me. I always feel like crap after waking from a nap. It’s like the little bit of sleep that I get is just a tease for my body and now my body is being a bitch about it. It’s such a shitty feeling.

Not knowing where Alex is, I hop out of bed and walk into the bathroom to find him completely naked and sitting in the tub. It’s filled with very little water, not leaving much to the imagination.

His muscles are flexed, his tattooed flesh dripping with water as he leans back with his arms resting on the sides of the tub.

In this moment he’s so damn sexy that I’m at a complete loss for words. I’ve never seen something so damn beautiful in my life, and all I can think about is him fucking me, slow and deep in that tub, and not stopping until we’re both out of breath and unable to move.

Why does he have to be so tempting? Mmm . . . I want him so damn bad right now, every inch of him.

Alex pulls me out of my thoughts by sitting up and reaching for my arm, pulling me down into the hot water with him. “Come here.”

I hiss a little from the heat on my flesh as the water soaks into my clothing. “Alex . . . what are you doing?”

He manages to roll us both over until he’s hovering above me, his muscles flexing as he holds himself up. “If you’re going to watch me like that . . . then you better be prepared to get wet.”

He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and gently bites it. I close my eyes when I feel his hand grip my thigh and squeeze. “You love me getting you wet? Don’t you, babe?”

Moaning, I nod my head and close my eyes again when I feel his fingers move across my clit. It feels like heaven. Everything he does feels too good to be true. “Alex don’t . . .” He starts moving faster, causing me to shake below him, and trying to get a grip before I—“I’m going to come if you don’t . . . Ahhh . . . Alex . . . ahhhhhh.”

He smiles in satisfaction as I come undone below him, digging my nails into his bare flesh. “Fuck yes. I could listen to that sound every day for the rest of my life.”

His face takes on a dark expression, as if he just said something that he didn’t mean to, before he runs his hands over his face and stands up to reach for a towel. “I should get dressed and start setting the back yard up for the party.”

I nod my head, fighting to catch my breath as I watch his muscles flex with each move that he makes while he wraps the towel tightly around his waist. “Yeah . . . okay. That’s a good idea. I’ll be down in a bit.”

“No rush, babe. I have to run to the store anyways.” His eyes roam over my wet body once, before stopping on my tits. He runs his tongue over his lips, wetting them. “Shit . . .”

And just like that he disappears into his room, leaving me craving more. Having him touch me like that and not feeling him deep inside me, filling me, is like taking my will to breathe away. I feel like a total mess right now.

I sit in the bathtub, not wanting to move for a good twenty minutes, before finally draining the water and taking a quick shower, hoping to clear my head.

All I can manage to think about is the last time I was in this shower with Alex making love to me. This has all become too overwhelming for me. I’m trying, but I can’t put Alex back into the friend zone. Not wanting to touch him is almost as hard as not breathing. I’m starting to feel as if I need him to survive. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen.

Feeling completely out of it, I get dressed and quickly do my hair and makeup, before heading downstairs to search through the cupboards for snacks and drinks that we have on hand. Surprisingly we still have a shit ton of alcohol sitting around. I really don’t know why Alex felt he needed to go to the store.

Alex shows up sometime during my search, setting five plastic bags down onto the kitchen island. “I got a bunch of shit for tonight.” He pulls out a bag of Mesquite BBQ Krunchers. “Your favorite chips for one.” Then he pulls out five more bags and tosses them down, watching me with a smile.

I laugh when I notice that’s the only type of chips he got; every single bag. “Did you really only buy my favorite chips?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs his shoulders as if it isn’t a big deal. “If we run out I will just buy you some more. We’re also going to be serving a shitload of these motherfuckers tonight.” He winks and flashes me his playful dimples, before pulling out a bunch of stuff to make Daiquiris.

I laugh even harder, totally pleased that he went to the store just to make sure that I had my favorite things. “You seriously couldn’t be a better friend.” Without thinking, I wrap my arms around his neck and crush my lips to his, moaning as he runs his tongue over my parted lips.

It happened so fast and came so naturally that I didn’t even realize I started it until a throat clears beside us, bringing me back to reality.

We both pull away—well I pull away—and turn beside us to see Harley pulling up a stool. She grabs for a bag of my chips and opens them, popping one into her mouth as if nothing unusual just happened.

“Hey, y’all.” She pops a few more chips into her mouth and talks while chewing. “These are damn good. I haven’t had these since the last time you stayed at my house.” She looks at the kitchen island. “Oh good. There’s more. I’m eating this whole damn bag.”

Alex sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and releases it, before smiling at me and backing out of the kitchen. “Enjoy, ladies. I’ll be out back.”

Harley and I both stare at each other in silence until Alex is out of earshot.

I break first, panicking. “Fuck me.”

“Maybe later,” she responds. “I’m holding out for Ace tonight. Mind if I use your room?”

“No!” I yell. “Gross . . .” I grab the bag of chips from her and toss them aside when she continues to pop them into her mouth, chewing as if there’s no tomorrow. “I can’t stop, Harley. I just kissed him without a second thought, as if he’s my fucking boyfriend. That is not good. Not good at all.”

“It looked pretty good to me, and it definitely fucking looked good for him too.” She stands up and helps me shove the bags of ice into the freezer. “If I hadn’t walked in that boy was going to bend you over that kitchen island and fuck you into oblivion.” She points toward the back door. “He walked out that back door with a raging fucking hard-on. You’re not the only one that can’t stop. So why bother? Why stop?”

I slam the freezer door shut and grip my hair in frustration. “Because we’re supposed to be best friends. That’s why. We’re supposed to be able to come to each other for anything and everything. We’re supposed to be able to talk to each other, give each other advice, and look out for each other. Giving in and trying could ruin all of that if it doesn’t work out. I can’t lose him, Harley. You know that.”