Something for the Pain(18)

She looks between the two of us, before turning toward the bathroom. “I’m tired. I . . . I think I’m going to bed.”

Lucas looks at me and bites his bottom lip as Tripp disappears into the bathroom. “There’s a lot more to you than I expected. I guess I see why the ladies keep coming around.” He laughs and heads for the hallway. “I guess you wore my girl out for the night. Looks like I’ll have to wait. It’s a good thing I took care of it myself.” He pauses and looks at me one more time. “Thanks, man. I knew you were a good sport.”

I nod my head, but don’t say a word as he lets himself out of my room. He may be thanking me, but I can tell he’s dying on the inside. He felt exactly what I felt as soon as I entered Tripp. It was evident in both of our eyes how much we feel for each other.

Now I just hope we can get back to where we were before it’s too late.

Running my hands through my hair, I sit here completely naked, breathing hard and staring at the door that Tripp—my firecracker—disappeared through.

Fuck . . . That’s all I can say. Fuck . . .





SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!


Fighting to catch my breath, I fall against the bathroom door and place my hand over my heaving chest. I thought I could handle this. I thought I could close my mind off and not let my feelings get in the mix, but I was wrong. I was wrong in so many ways.

Alex . . . my best friend . . . was inside of me.

Every kiss, every talented caress of his fingertips, and the feel of him inside me will haunt me for the rest of my life. There are no words to describe the way I’m feeling right now. I feel as if I’ve just made love for the first time, and not just some meaningless romp beneath the sheets . . . but love. I don’t think I should be feeling this right now. Stop! I need to push this far from my mind and remember that this will never happen again. I need to accept what just happened for what it truly was: a lesson for Lucas.

That’s what Alex said it would be. I need to remember that, even though it felt like so much more. So much more.

Closing my eyes, I run both of my hands down my face, letting my dress fall to the floor beside me. Everything in me wants to turn back around and crawl into his arms, naked, and hold him until I fall asleep on his strong chest. I’ve never had this urge after sex. I always kick Lucas out.

If that’s the case then why is this feeling so overwhelming? My stomach is in complete knots just thinking about not being able to be close to him right now. This is a foreign feeling to me after sex. The only thing I can think about after sex with Lucas is getting him out of my bed before he thinks he’s welcome to sleep in it.

Alex is different. He’s always been different and now that I’ve had him in the most intimate way I’m afraid that I’ll only want more from him. I can’t have that and I know it. It hurts so much just thinking about it, but we have too much riding on it. We’re friends. Best friends.

This is all so confusing. What if Lucas knows? He watched the whole thing. “Oh my God.” My breathing picks up as I think about him being there. He had to have seen the way I reacted to Alex. My whole body surrendered to his. He completely owned me, and that is something that Lucas has never been able to do.

I just hope that Lucas doesn’t realize how much I truly wish that he were Alex, or how much I wish that it could be Alex that I’m with and not him. That could mess up everything that I’ve had with both of them over the years.

Playing this off and pretending that I just want to be friends with Alex is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, especially seeing him with other girls so freely.

How am I going to do this?

Pressing my face against the door, I run my hand through my tangled, wet mess of hair and listen to the sound of Alex pacing his room.

Things don’t have to change . . . I can pretend. Right?



THE NEXT MORNING I WAKE up extremely tense and on edge. I guess if you can call it waking up. I didn’t sleep much at all. I spent most of the night watching the bathroom door as if waiting for Alex to come through it. He didn’t . . . and I have to admit that it had me extremely stressed out. A part of me hoped that he would and that everything would go back to feeling normal between us. It made it hard to sleep.

Every time I would close my eyes and try to force myself to sleep, images of Alex on top of me flooded my thoughts, making me sweat. The passionate look in his grayish eyes kept me fighting for air. There is absolutely no way in hell I will ever be able to forget last night, but to Alex, it may just be another night for him. He’s used to sleeping with numerous girls and keeping his feelings out of the mix. I guess you could even call him a pro at it.

Still . . . I can’t help but to wonder how he’s feeling or what he’s thinking. I want to know if there’s just the slightest chance that it meant something to him. I want to know that I wasn’t the only one that felt it.

“Tripp. You over there daydreaming or something?”

I snap out of my thoughts of Alex when I hear Lucas’ voice behind me. He just came out of his room from getting ready for work and I’ve been here in the kitchen making breakfast to keep my mind off things.

I shake my head and force a smile, before looking over my shoulder at him. “No, I was just concentrating on the bacon.” I lie. “I’m still trying to wake up is all.”

Lucas’ arms snake around my waist from behind, and within seconds I feel his lips brush against my neck. “Damn girl . . . you must still be exhausted from last night. You two definitely put on a pretty intense show. No lie. If I didn’t know better I would think you two had something going on.” His hands wander my body, stopping on my breasts. He moans in my ear as he cups each one, giving them a light squeeze. “I can’t wait to have you in my bed tonight. Just imagine the physical pleasure you had with Alex, but with emotions mixed in. That will be us, baby. Just wait.”

Pressing his erection against my ass, he bites my neck and begins grinding against me. He starts out slow, before speeding up, pushing me against the counter as if all he wants to do is lift up my dress and take me right here in the kitchen.

A feeling of uneasiness takes over and I can’t help but try to squirm my way out of his hold. After last night I’m just not in the mood to be this close to Lucas. It doesn’t feel right and he couldn’t be more wrong about last night. The emotions were there for me with Alex far more than they’ve ever been with him.

“Lucas . . .” I jerk my neck away from his mouth and reach for the fork to flip the bacon. “I need to watch the food. It’s going to burn.”

Reaching over, Lucas turns off the burner and goes back to kissing my neck. Does he not get the hint? Is it that hard? His dick definitely is.

I stiffen even more in his arms and push him away with quickness when Alex clears his throat from the doorway.

“Am I interrupting something?” He asks with a hint of annoyance. “I’ll be quick.” Looking past Lucas, he walks over to me, grabs my chin, and kisses me on the cheek, his lips lingering there for a moment too long.

I can’t deny that it has my heart jumping.

The room is silent as Alex walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. I can’t help but to notice the way his jaw steels when his eyes meet mine. Our eyes stay locked as he opens his water and takes a drink. The intensity reminds me of the bedroom. Is that weird?

Giving Lucas one last push with my hip, I adjust my dress and go back to cooking the bacon. Why does this feel so awkward? Is it time for Lucas to leave yet? “Morning. Want some breakfast?”

Alex looks at Lucas, before taking a seat at the bar and adjusting the crotch of his favorite jeans as his eyes land back on me. Damn . . . those jeans. He put them back on this morning. Looking me up and down, he cracks his neck. “Yeah. You know I can’t turn down your cooking, babe. I’m fucking starving.”

Lucas runs his tongue over his lips, before grabbing my chin and leaning in for a quick kiss to show his confidence in us. “I need to run. There’s some important things to discuss at work this morning.” Walking past Alex, he grabs his shoulder and squeezes, before snatching up a banana and walking toward the door. “Hey, you two behave when I’m gone.” He winks and then does this little spin out the door, leaving Alex and I alone for the first time since . . . last night.

Trying to act normal, I shut off the stove and make Alex’s plate like I usually do when I cook for him. I just hope that he’s starving like he said, because I somehow managed to almost overflow his plate.

“Am I two people now or are you planning on eating off my plate, Firecracker?”

Alex lifts his brows and gives me a playful smile as I set his plate down in front of him. It gives me a sense of relief to see him acting like his normal playful self.

“Shut up and eat.” I tease. “I’m serving you breakfast on no sleep.” The last part slipped. The last thing I want him to know is that I lost sleep over him.

His face takes on a serious look as he watches me walk back over to the stove to fix my own plate. He doesn’t say anything, but I can feel his eyes studying me, trying to figure me out.

Stop it!

I take my time preparing my plate, so that I can gather my composure and play it off, before facing him again.