"Still, Ryan, your parents have to be proud of you. Look at you, working on the cutting edge of technology, making enough money that you can send some home. It's a wonderful accomplishment."
"More wonderful, I'm afraid, when you can hold on to your jobs."
"What?"
Damn, what was he doing? Ah, hell, just telling her more of the truth, and she deserved to hear it. It would help her better understand why this had to end when the time came.
"The fact is, Penny, the reason I'm here-in Cincinnati, working for Martin-is because he liked me enough not to ask for references." From there he went on, telling her what had happened at ComData, and before that at Futureware. He meant to give her the short version, but her eyes shone with such understanding that he ended up sharing the longer one. He expected to feel humiliated when he finished, but he didn't.
"Anyway," he concluded, "that's why this job means so much to me. It feels like … a last chance. A last chance to make my parents proud and convince them I can handle the path I chose, and a last chance to make myself proud, too."
"Ah, now that part I can relate to." She reached for her wineglass and took a sip. "I felt directionless when Patti and I decided to open the pub. If it had failed, I wouldn't have known where to go, what to do, who I'd become. Before that, I'd wandered aimlessly from job to job, and I wanted more, something concrete and lasting. And even though I didn't have issues with my parents, I still wanted to make them proud."
"So maybe you understand a little more now about me coming here to settle down, wanting to walk the straight and narrow."
"Yeah," she said, looking a little guilty, although that hadn't been his intent.
"I'm not sorry, by the way. I'm not sorry about anything that's happened these last few days." In fact, Ryan was starting to have the niggling feeling that he'd gotten in too deep here. So maybe I'm worried, he thought, but not sorry.
"I'm glad," she said, gazing lovingly into his eyes. And he didn't want to see that look, but it was there, undeniably, reminding him once more how much this mattered to her. And how much it could matter to him if he let it. But he couldn't let it.
"So while we're on the subject of me," he joked, more than ready to take their conversation to an easy, uncomplicated place, "I need help getting another area of my life in order."
"Don't tell me there's more to your saga?" she asked with a giggle.
"Afraid so." He attempted to look very grave. "All the walls and shelves in my condo are empty. Can you help?"
She gave him a playful yet prim expression. "Well, I do consider myself a young Martha Stewart."
"I was thinking," he said, although the idea had just popped into his head, "that maybe I could talk you into helping me decorate my condo. After work tomorrow? I want the place to start looking like someone actually lives there, but I'm not really an interior decorating sort of guy. Know what I mean?" And considering all the thoughts about ending their relationship that raced through his head, the idea sounded positively ludicrous, but there it was, and he was dying for her to say yes.
"I'd love to," she said.
He smiled, already looking forward to it. "And I'd offer to make dinner for you when we're done, but I just remembered, I only have beer and butter in my refrigerator."
She smiled back. "Clearly, decorating isn't your only homemaking deficiency. Although this explains why you think grilled cheese and Doritos qualify as a meal. Why don't we hit the grocery store, too?"
"You wouldn't mind doing that with me?"
"Not at all. I'd hate to picture what you'd whip up using beer and butter."
"That would be great," he said.
So now they'd made their next plans, they knew when they'd be together again, and for Ryan, that usually meant it was a good time to call it a night. Yet it was so cozy cuddling with her on the couch, and he knew from recent experience it was even better snuggling naked with her beneath the sheets. Her eyes were so sweet peering up at him that it made it hard to leave.
"So," he said, leaning over to place a tiny kiss on the tip of her nose, "would you care if I, uh, stayed the night?"
She shook her head lightly, spoke softly. "No, Ryan. I'd like that."
He'd suspected she would, of course, and he wished he'd done it only to please her, but he hadn't. Staying over was the one mistake he'd not committed with her so far, yet knowing he would hold her all night now and wake up to her smile in the morning made it all too easy.
* * *
Friday was usually a busy day at the Two Sisters Pub, as weekend events at the Convention Center often started then, and more people decided to eat out. Still not having heard from Martin, Penny placed one last phone call to him that morning before things got hurried, and she listened to that irritating message one final time. But tomorrow Martin would be home and phone calls wouldn't matter anymore. She wondered if this horrible waiting was karmic punishment for what she'd done while he was away.
After hanging up, though, there was little time to think about Martin, and not even much room for Ryan in her mind once the lunch rush began. Still, knowing she would see him in a couple of hours gave her an extra burst of energy. She was looking forward to their excursion tonight. Something about helping a man shop for groceries and organize his home seemed … personal. Of course, they'd already gotten more than a little personal, but to Penny, this felt as if Ryan was inviting her into his life. She had no idea how things would shake out once Martin returned, but tonight's get-together had given her hope where before there had been none, or at least only a little.
She felt bad leaving Patti, considering the lunch crowd still hadn't waned by one-thirty. But Patti assured her she had it under control and would call in an extra bartender for this evening if business warranted. Penny had told her sister what she and Ryan were doing tonight, and Patti had acted as if they were going to pick out china patterns together. "Oh, Pen, I'm so happy for you," she'd said, giving her a hug.
Ryan showed up at her house at two o'clock as scheduled, and just like every time Penny saw him, her heart nearly burst. He kissed her hello, held her close, and smiled. "So," she said, twining her arms around his neck, "is that a mouse in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"
Confusion shadowed his eyes. "A mouse?"
"A computer mouse," she said with a laugh.
"Ah." He leaned his head back in understanding, then laughed, too. "That's very funny, but, uh … couldn't you have picked something a little bigger?"
Grinning up at him, she tilted her head in thought. "Okay, is that a … hard drive in your pocket?"
Ryan grinned. "That's more like it, and yes, I'm very glad to see you."
They'd both agreed that to start working in his office at this point would still be a bad idea. Now that they had a hard copy of her notes, it might've been more convenient, but Penny worried about Martin's other employees seeing them together. She feared if they spent time in the rest of the staff's presence, they might slip up, and give away their secret.
As things were, they already knew they worked well at Penny's house, so after sharing another kiss or two, they took their respective places at Penny's desk and got down to business.
Three hours later, they'd covered a lot of ground, yet had barely made a dent in the pub's menu. "See," he said, "I told you this would be the long part."
Yet Penny didn't mind. She loved working with him, and she wouldn't complain if they never finished.
"But it's enough for today," he told her, "and besides, we've got a big night of groceries and decorating ahead of us. Still up for it?"
She nodded. "Of course."
"Then I guess I should head down to the office. The sooner I go, the sooner I can meet you at the condo." With that, he pressed his spare key into her hand and Penny closed her fist around it. He'd explained earlier that one of Martin's clients had called this morning requesting a short meeting late today, so Ryan had promised to see the guy. He'd offered to come back and pick up Penny afterward, but she'd suggested that she drive to his place on her own while he was busy, to check out the space and think about decorating possibilities before he got home.