This must be what it's like, she thought, what people who have flings talk about after sex. Only then they went home afterward and it didn't matter anymore. They thought of it as something pleasant, something fun, but it was just one incident, one experience, it wasn't something that ebbed its way into their souls as Penny could feel this discussion doing right now.
"I, uh, hope your sister wasn't in Martin's corner," Ryan said then.
She shook her head, understanding the implications. "No, she's thrilled I'm not marrying him. In fact, I even told her about us-you and me-so walking in on us probably wasn't quite the shock it seemed."
"You told her about us?"
Oh, why had she said that? "Well, not about the limo incident. Just that we were having a … " What were they having again? "A … thing. A fling." Yes, that was it.
Worry glimmered in his eyes. "She wouldn't tell-"
"Martin? Of course not. She understands the problem." And for the first time since Patti had left and Ryan had started taking off Penny's clothes again, she wondered if he still had issues. "Dare I ask about that problem? I mean, it's still there."
"To be honest," he said with a sigh, "I'm just not thinking about it right now."
Maybe she was crazy for even bringing this up, being this honest, but she needed to know what he would say. "I was afraid after Patti showed up … that you'd change your mind again and leave."
"Well, I'm afraid," he replied, "that I probably couldn't have stopped if Martin himself had walked in."
The admission made Penny smile, but she tried not to think about the full extent of why, or about the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface of her calm exterior.
When the food was gone, Ryan said, "That was great. Really hit the spot." He dropped his eyes briefly before raising them back to hers. "But I'd … better get going. Got a lot of work to do, you know."
"Oh," she said. "Yeah. Of course." She'd been hoping against his leaving, but had been waiting for it just the same.
Together, they rose from the bed and returned to the bathroom, gathering various clothes from the tiled floor. After stepping into his boxer briefs, he grabbed another towel to wipe up the water they'd splashed over the side-luckily, his suit pants had landed far enough away that only the cuffs got wet. He raised his eyebrows and joked with Penny. "I wonder what your neighbors would've thought if I'd gone jogging out to my car in my underwear."
"I guess they'd have been onto me."
"Onto you?"
She hesitantly lifted her gaze, even as the warmth of a blush climbed her cheeks. "They'd realize I've … changed."
His easy smile reassured her that those changes were okay.
After he was dressed and she stood with him in the foyer, he lifted her hand to his mouth and softly kissed it. "See you tomorrow," he said with a smile. "We'll get back on track with our work then, keep moving forward."
She nodded, secretly thinking, Who cares about the stupid system? But she knew all too well, his job was important to him. "Sounds good."
"And Penny," he said, "me and you, in the tub, and the bed … "
Was he trying to tell her it couldn't happen again? "Yes?"
His voice went lower. "It was phenomenal. I'm glad I came back."
He gave her a last smile, lowered a kiss to her forehead, then turned to go, his coat draped over one arm, his briefcase dangling from his other hand. She stood at the screen, watching him walk toward his car. The rain had ended and the streets and sidewalk were already drying.
After closing the door, Penny made her way to the couch, where she plopped down and grabbed a pillow, hugging it in front of her. Joy and sorrow feuded inside her. Letting the joy win for a moment, she leaned her head back, reveling in the memories, in the realized fantasy that had been far more wonderful than anything she'd imagined, and in her true and utter abandon. Even though that part hadn't come quite as easy as she'd thought it would. Looking back, she thought, What on earth was I doing, moaning and groaning and writhing in his arms? It had felt so foreign to her, as though someone had taken over her body. But she didn't regret one second of it, either.
Yet, she wondered, biting her lip, did it really count as being wild if she thought she was falling in love? Maybe it wasn't wildness at all. Maybe it was just the beginning of something deeper.
She shook her head in disbelief. Here she was, still trying to turn down one man's proposal, and she thought she might already be starting to fall in love with another.
Well, that part wouldn't matter in the end anyway, since she knew this was just casual sex to Ryan; it couldn't be any more than that, at least not as long as he remained at Schuster Systems.
The worst part was she had no idea how things would be between them tomorrow, and no way of knowing if they'd ever make love again.
* * *
7
"The party you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message."
Penny hung up the phone in the pub's office with a heavy sigh. Parts of her life were starting to play like a broken record. Which made her all the more thankful Ryan hadn't left before making love to her last night-that was one pattern she'd been especially anxious to alter. She still got tingly inside every time she thought about it, about him.
And as things with Ryan deepened, she burned with the need to talk to Martin, to get this proposal business cleared up. She glanced at her watch. 8:57 a.m. Almost six in Vegas. She'd been certain if she called him this early in the morning, he'd be there.
Picking the phone back up, Penny redialed the Flamingo Hilton's number, which she now knew by heart. This time, however, instead of requesting his room, she asked the operator if she could have a message delivered personally to Mr. Schuster. "What's the message, ma'am?"
Simple. "Call Penny."
She couldn't believe it was Thursday, a week since she'd talked to him. But, she reasoned, Martin always put the company first, so if there was some important early-morning computer seminar, he'd be there. Or maybe he'd just left to meet with potential clients over breakfast. Whatever the case, she could almost imagine his words when he finally got in touch with her. "Penny, I apologize for not calling, but I got so wrapped up in the conference that time got away from me." Then he'd drift off onto a tangent about the marvelous networking opportunities or the new technologies.
"Hello, are you in there?" A brisk knock came on the office door as Patti's voice cut into her thoughts.
Penny swung the door open. "Hi," she said, but knew she sounded dejected.
"What's wrong? And why are you hiding in the office?"
"I was trying to get in touch with Martin, but no luck."
Patti glanced at the phone on the desk, then back at Penny, then broke into a let's-tell-secrets smile. "Well, Martin's not the guy I want to hear about anyway. Tell me everything."
Penny wished she were more annoyed at her sister's nosiness, but it was fun to be the one doing something exciting for a change. She felt as if it put her and Patti on equal ground. Nonetheless, she played aloof, tossing out, "Nothing to tell," as she sauntered past into the pub.
"Nothing to tell," Patti mimicked, grabbing her wrist to spin her around. "Well, you can at least tell me where you got that bra. I thought poor Scott would have a heart attack."
Heat filled Penny's cheeks. "Me, too. I have no idea how I'll ever face the guy again. But I'm betting that's the last time you'll come barging into my house like that, huh?"
They both burst into laughter then, even though Penny's was slightly nervous. Patti's eyes still danced with mirth after they'd quieted. "Come on, Pen. At least tell me if he was good or not."
Penny cast a slow, wicked grin. "Well, he was … just as good as he looks like he'd be."
"Ooh, sounds fun." Patti took on a rather lascivious expression herself before casting a suspicious look. "So what's the deal with you anyway? Something's suddenly very different."
Her sister's powers of perception were truly amazing, but at least Penny still held her limousine encounter secret. It remained the one thing she was determined not to share. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, I don't have a word for it exactly, but … wow, Pen, having sex with a guy you hardly know? That's not like you. And in your foyer, too!"