“Please let me go. I can’t do this now. The kids are home. They can’t see me like this again. I swore to myself that they would never see me like this again.”
“Baby.” I pull her closer to look into her eyes. “I never touched her. She stayed the night, and the only reason is because it was too far for her to drive back. I should have kicked her ass out, but I didn’t think. That is on me.”
“No, Cooper, you didn’t. You think that her staying the night was okay? In what fucking universe do you live in? Would it be okay for James to spend the night?”
I feel fury and death. Grinding my teeth together, I tell her, “Parker, I get it.”
“No, Cooper, you don’t get it. You never will. I got involved with you, knowing it was a short time fling. Knowing you would be leaving when your time was up, but I couldn’t stay away, and that is on me. What I shouldn’t have done was let you in. I should have gone with my gut, but I didn’t. I shouldn’t have brought you around my kids. They shouldn’t have to deal with this again. We both know that this was going to happen later anyway, so it’s better now.” She looks down at her feet.
“What the fuck are you saying right now?” She is spewing shit in my face, making my heart beat faster. The thought of losing her now or later makes me see black because I know that without her I am nothing. “Do you not get where this is going? Do you not understand that I’m in this not just for the time I’m here, but after that? Do you not understand you’re it? You, Parker, you drive me fucking crazy, make me want to strangle you then smack that sass out of your mouth. You make me want to throw you over my shoulder and do all those naughty things that make you moan and scream for me. It doesn’t end for us. Not in three weeks and not ever. Parker, I love you.” I lay it out. I’ve never said that to anyone else but my family.
I don’t even know how she feels, but I don’t fucking care anymore. Being without her for four days knocked me on my ass and made me see what my life would be like without her, and it fucking sucks. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes, brimming at the bottom of her lids, then falling over, and I catch them with my thumb.
“Babe, you have to know I would never ever do that to you. You have to know that after all this time you mean more to me than just fucking you over.”
“No, Cooper, I don’t know. You see, I had a husband who promised me forever. Who vowed to love me forever. Who made a family with me. Who came home every night and pretended to love me.” She blows out but doesn’t stop. “Seeing her there, in your house, in your fucking shirt and nothing else, it brought me back to that moment. I can’t and will not do this again. I can’t put myself out there for this to happen. I can’t put my kids in this. They deserve more. Fuck, I deserve more.”
“I don’t know what the future holds but know this. I would never ever do that to you. I would never step out on you. I can’t even think about touching someone else, let alone do the things you think I did. It’s you. You fucking ruined me.”
She finally sobs out and buries her face in my chest, letting my T-shirt catch her tears.
“Seeing what I saw, I was gutted. I didn’t think I could hurt that way again, but with you it was so much more. I don’t know how to explain it. You knew what I went through, so I didn’t understand how you could do this.” She tries to continue, but the front door is slammed shut, making me look up, and her head snaps back to where Matthew stands, staring down with anger contorting his countenance.
She wipes her face and puts on a smile. “Hey, we were just discussing something. I’ll be right in, honey.”
Matthew comes down the stairs, his eyes never leaving his mother’s. “Yeah, what exactly were you guys discussing? Was it his girlfriend showing up at the fucking arena that you own to see her Cooper?” He squeezes his hands into fists, not stopping for us to answer. “What exactly were you discussing, Cooper? How you came in here and promised her things only to fuck her over and make her feel like a fool again?”
Parker gasps. “Matthew, you will watch your mouth.”
But he doesn’t. “Are you kidding me right now, Mom? He’s a douchebag. He used you, and all the while he had his girl waiting for him.” He moves toward us.
Parker steps in front of me, but I don’t lose my connection with her, putting my hands on her shoulders. She is ready to say something, but I cut her off.
“There seems to be some confusion with the facts. Did my ex-girlfriend show up surprising me? Yes. Did I want her? Absolutely not. Do I want her over your mother? Not a chance in hell. I messed up with your mom. I made her doubt me and us and for that I’m sorry. I get you are protecting your mom. It’s your role. It’s who you are, but you have to know that I’m going to be the one beside you helping to keep her safe. I will never ever do that to her,” I say to him, hoping he sees that we are on the same side. “I love her. I love all of her. I love everything that she is.” I’m putting myself out there to an almost sixteen-year-old, hoping to hell that he believes me.