My heart skipped a beat and my blood pressure shot up. I had this gut feeling I knew where this conversation was headed, but I didn’t say a word. Hoping that I was wrong, I let her finish. Oh God! Please let me be wrong!
“I debated for a long time if I should tell you, and I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to have more guilt, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s eating at me, but I think you can handle the news I’m about to tell you. You have the right to know. Tessa was pregnant. It was the reason why she wanted to have the wedding a lot earlier. I’m so sorry, Matthew. She’s gone and there’s nothing you can do. I want you to live your life and find someone who was meant for you.”
Our conversation took me back, and now it seemed clear why Tessa was in a hurry to get married. We were so young. I knew for sure I wouldn’t have been ready to be a father back then, but that wasn’t the point. I felt like I’d not only lost Tessa, but my child as well. It hurt like hell. I felt robbed, jaded by this girl I’d hated for the past several years. And not only that, she turned out to be Becca’s friend. What the fuck?
I wondered what my life would have been like with Tessa. We would have had a daughter or a son; our child would have been about the age of two. However, that was then and this was now. No way was I going to let Amber get in the way of my happiness again. This time, I was going to take ownership of my destiny.
Enough was enough. I’d given Becca space; now it was time for me to take charge. We had a huge bump in the road, but it was time to get back on track. If we couldn’t get through this, then we wouldn’t be able to get through what life threw at us, and I was sure there would be plenty of other bumps ahead. I loved Becca, and she needed to know. How to get her to see me was the question. I didn’t want to get Jenna involved, but I was desperate. Just as I was about to text Jenna, there was a knock at the door.
“You look like shit.” Max pushed the door wider and walked in.
“Thanks. It good to see you, too.” I rolled my eyes.
“Hi, Matthew.” Jenna smiled, seeming unsure if she should be there. Her eyes were full of pity. Did I look that bad? She followed Max. Since they were both dressed up, I figured they’d stopped by before heading to their place. Sometimes I regretted living a floor below Max, especially at times like this.
“Come in,” I said after the fact. “It’s kind of late for a visit, don’t you think?”
Jenna and Max had made themselves comfortable on the sofa, all snuggled up in each other’s arms.
“It’s kind of late to drink, don’t you think?” Max added.
I shifted my eyes to the half-empty glass. “It’s never too late to party by myself.” I slid the drink closer after I took a seat across from them. “So, how was dinner?” I took a sip.
“Dinner was interesting,” Jenna said, glancing at Max with pursed lips. Max must have done something that I would have done. I’d bet he made sure Jenna’s partner was fully aware that Jenna was his.
“I’m sure it was.” I twitched my brows, twirling the cup to hear the sound of iced cubes hitting each other. Then it became awkwardly silent. I cleared my throat. “So...are you all set for the wedding?” I glanced from Max to Jenna.
“Getting there,” Jenna said. “Your mom is fantastic. The wedding invitations have been mailed. She’s already made a lot of appointments for me. I have my final fitting for my dress next week. I’m glad she’s taking care of so many things for me. I’ve only had to answer her questions like ‘What color? How many? What design?’ I’ve been so sick that it was nice to have your mom take care of so many of the details.”
“Yeah. Mom’s great, but don’t let her push you around. She’s good at getting things her way.”
“Most moms are. Though it would have been nice to have my mom help me with decisions for the wedding, I’m better off without her help. She would have driven me crazy. Your mom, on the other hand, has been giving me advice but accepting our decisions. My mom wanted to fly down and help me, but I told her that I had all the right connections from your parents.”
“That’s good.” I nodded.
“Have you spoken to Becky yet?” Max asked. That came out of nowhere.
I looked away. “She won’t talk to me.”
“You going to sulk in your apartment, or are you going to do something about it? If you wait too long, it might be harder to fix it.”
Max was always looking after me and giving me words of wisdom. I guess that was what big brothers felt like they had to do. I nodded to let him know I heard him.