“Long time no see,” he chirps.
“It’s on my calendar to beat the shit out of you,” I say, taking a seat on the Frankensteined workout equipment. I’m not really in the mood to confront him about what I saw that night at Delta.
“What the hell for?” He pops a foot up on the wheel and begins tying his shoe—his fucking shoe like it’s no big deal. It makes me feel like shoving mine right up his ass. “So, I got some news—Lauren says I passed the test.” He hikes his brows like this should mean something.
“What test?” I down my water bottle to keep from socking him in the nuts.
He ticks his head as though this were big news. “The ambush hookup, the lover’s limbo—how low can you go?” He holds his hands out like he’s about to fly away, and I wish he would. “You know, relationship test.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Not that I care. It’s not like I’m passing any relationship test anytime soon.
“Lauren. She sicced that hot girlfriend of yours on me, then watched me sweat it out. I turned her down flat, and Lauren jumped out of the fucking closet like a psychotic P.I. But it was cute. It means she loves me.”
My insides pinch to life. My face fills with heat as a surge of excitement races through my veins.
“Kenny said Lauren asked her to do her a favor,” I say it mostly to myself. “You think that was it?” My entire body feels light as a feather, and my heart detonates in me like a rapid-fire assault weapon.
“Probably.” He bobs his head like this were just another conversation—as if my entire existence didn’t just point right back to Kendall Jordan, the great love of my life. “So, it looks like I’ll be joining you on that unfortunate walk down the aisle, buddy.” He slaps me over the back, solid and secure, without any notion there was something amiss with our relationship this past week. “I nearly fell off the mattress when she asked, but who the hell am I to let a good thing go to waste?”
I look up at him startled.
“Congratulations.” I smile for the first time since Kenny left, and my heart soars from the effort. I bet she didn’t write that note either. “I gotta run.” I spike to my feet. “Do me a favor—ask Lauren to bring Kenny to Sigma Phi tonight. And whatever you do, don’t tell Kenny I’ll be there.” My feet fly to the door. I’m walking on air.
“Where you going?” Cal shouts with a wild look on his face.
“I’ve got to call someone about getting some windows fixed.”
20
Kendall
Forever
The night sky washes an unnatural shade of lavender in what I’ll always remember as the color of this spectacular heartbreak. The stars spray out their glory in number as if all the starry hosts were marshaled right over Alpha Sigma Phi. The evergreens shimmer a luminescent sage as if vying for my attention. It seems all of nature is peacocking—showing off its prowess, its inherent beauty that surrounds us like a song set to the tune of eternity. How anything could go so disastrously wrong in a world so beautiful astounds me. But it had. And now, I’m experiencing the horrific impact from the death plunge I unknowingly took. Cruise pushed our love off the sheer cliff of ecstasy, and left me crashing through the flames, cracking my skull open on the rocky shore each time I thought of him.
I don’t know why I expected anything different. I slid my heart across the table like it were a loaded gun, and Cruise blew a hole right through me with my own weapon. I’ve only my sheer stupidity to blame. I was so naïve to think it could have ever worked—that we conquered something so spectacular—that it existed at all.
I run my fingers over my neck. It’s still sore from picking at the collar that I latched onto it like a vice. I finally managed to take it off by repeatedly stabbing the keyhole with a bobby pin.
“There’s a beer inside with your name on it.” Ally links an arm with mine as we enter the frat party that essentially started it all. I suppose it’s fitting it’ll be my last here at Garrison. I missed classes all week and hung out at Ally’s dorm in Russell Hall. Not a soul there was a “loser.” According to Mom, Aunt Jackie is the loser for cheating on her poor husband. It turns out they’ve been in splitsville for almost a year.
Mom wanted to know why Cruise was at the bed and breakfast and I was at Ally’s. I guess he told her, his windows were in desperate need of repair, and that I was staying with friends, but she knew. Mom is an expert when it comes to crash landing a relationship. And when she boards that plane for California, I plan on being right there with her. This entire semester was a waste. I got an education I never bargained for—never wanted.