I start in on a slow, sober laugh.
My father has a very obvious hard-on for Kenny’s mother, my sister is having sex with prepubescent boys, and it was Kenny, of all people, she manipulated into helping her get on the pill. Shit.
I stand and pull Kenny into my arms.
“My family is completely insane.” A smile breaks loose on my lips as I take in the inordinate amount of beauty God saw fit to gift her with both inside and out. I lean in and crash my lips against hers until my body stirs to have her in all four corners of this oversized house.
A soft bubble of laughter gets caught in her throat. “Sounds like we might be related.”
“Maybe sooner than you think,” I say. “Last fall, Jackie and my dad filed for divorce. They’re just buying time under the same roof.”
She sucks in breath. “That’s terrible!”
I nod in agreement. “So there’s nothing else you want to tell me? Any baby news? Any more rides to the free clinic?”
Her mouth opens then quickly closes.
“I’m not keeping a single thing from you,” she whispers as her face lights up like a Christmas tree.
And deep inside, I wonder if she is.
On Saturday night, Tri Delta is having a party. Kenny asked me to join her, but I assured her I’d be okay at home, working on my thesis. Besides, she mentioned Lauren asked her to do her a favor, and I didn’t want to get in the way of a girls night out. But as soon as she left, I felt the vacuum in the room. Kenny takes the air, the life all with her. I can’t stop thinking about all those amped up frat boys attacking her like a group of hormone happy bears, so here I am, ready to cross the threshold into debauchery.
Tri Delta brims with mostly female bodies. Back in my scrotum-slinging days, this would have been an estrogen-laced paradise. For sure this is a much bigger venue and far more popular than the party Pen threw at Sigma Phi the night Kenny arrived. This time, all of Garrison decided to show. Although, in Pen’s defense, it was Christmas break, and most people had flown home for the holiday. I’m glad things worked in reverse for Kenny—those Christmas kisses were the best gift ever.
A bevy of scantily clad co-eds fills the room, each displaying a unique level of undress. Bra straps seem to be the order of the day, skinny jeans so tight they look like they might need to be peeled off—complete with G-strings spiking out the back, showing off whale tails of various shapes and sizes.
A bubbly coed dips her hand into the back of my jeans, and I take a giant step forward, only to have a brunette press her pillowy chest against mine. Her lips come into my face at Mach five and I’m quick to step away.
“Whoa, ladies.” I hold up my hands and make a break for the nearest wall, otherwise known as the observation zone.
I pan the room for Kenny. As soon as I spot her, I plan on making a beeline over. I have every intention of hitting on the most beautiful girl in the room. And if I’m lucky, maybe she’ll let me haul her upstairs and offer her another private “lesson.”
I’m sure she’s been swallowed alive in a sea of testosterone by now.
Off to my right, a group of guys play beer pong. I hike a leg against the wall and watch as they toss a plastic ball at a mass of red solos.
The object of coming to one of these events is to get laid. If they have any inclination to unzip their pants, for reasons other than urination, then isolating themselves is going about it the wrong way. At least invite some girls to play. Amateurs.
“Hey, handsome.” Blair springs up like an apparition. Her hair is pulled back so tight she looks ghastly. “Tall, dark, and lonely tonight?
“Just looking for Kenny.”
She makes a face. “Oh, I bet right about now she’s hooking up with some poor, unfortunate soul—ready and willing to bless ‘em with that body.”
“In your dreams.” I try to make my escape, but she yanks me back by the shirt.
“So why the big mystery?” Her dark eyes slit to nothing. “I would assume if you’re so close to Kenny, you’d at least mention the fact you had an ex-fiancée. Or maybe it’s not me you’re hiding from her. Maybe you’re just embarrassed by who you used to be.”
I look right at her, and it feels like I’m seeing her for the very first time. The way her jowls protrude, her red lips are drawn in like a slash as if someone lanced her face.
“Embarrassed?” I balk. “About what? The fact we met in youth group and decided to save ourselves for that magical someday, until you decided to feed the masses with your body? Guess what, Blair? I finally figured it out. You did me a favor. Without your insatiable desire to cram as many dicks inside you, I would’ve never met someone amazing who I actually fell in love with and who treats me with a level of respect I never knew possible.”