'Elizabeth?' And then he was right there, reaching to her, his hands on hers, the tips of his fingers singeing her bare skin. 'She's exactly where she should be. In the best hands. She'll get the best medical care where she's going and believe me, I know what I'm talking about on that score.'
His words skimmed over Lizzie. 'I should have come home earlier. She was right here, lying in the sun in agony, when I was having the time of my life … ' She shuddered, pulled her hands from his, wrapped her arms around herself. ' … when I should have been here. Did you see how sunburnt she was? I should have gone with her to hospital.'
Dan was still looking into her eyes, too closely. 'Joe is with her.'
'But I'm not. She's my neighbour and the closest thing to a mother I've got. And I let Stinkface go with her. What sort of a person am I?'
Before she realised what was happening, Dan was kissing her. His hands had found their natural place on the bare skin of her back, moving, caressing her where the string of her bikini formed a line. His kiss was passionate, insistent and his warm lips lingered on her mouth, longer than a peck, but not long enough to deepen it, which was still the right amount for Lizzie to feel knocked off her feet.
When he slowly pulled back, his eyes were dark and serious, his breathing heavy on her cheek.
'What was that for?' she gasped.
'I thought that might snap you out of it.' He pulled her into his arms and wrapped his big body around her. It had been so long since she'd leaned on someone, had someone to lean on, that she almost surrendered. The temptation to lose herself in him at that moment, to forget about her failures, to just be honest about what she felt for him, was powerful and potent. Dan's fingers teased through her hair, so soothing she wanted to sink into him and never let go.
'You. Are. Driving. Me. Bat-shit. Crazy. You know that?' he whispered.
'I don't understand why I'm driving you crazy.' She snuggled into his chest, her breasts crushed up against him, her arms around his waist, holding on with everything she had.
'Elizabeth, I want you to listen to me.' His voice was rough and deep. 'I know you love Middle Point and the people in it. I've seen it with my own eyes and I get it.' His tone wavered between irritated and sympathetic and Lizzie wondered which one he'd finally go with.
'But you're not on guardian angel duty here 24/7, okay?'
Guardian angel? Is that who he thought she was trying to be? Someone who thought she could run around and make people's lives better, make them better? Hadn't the events of that day, what had just happened with Harri, proved that she could never be? When she stiffened, he didn't let her go, but held on tighter, his hands moving sensual circles on her bare back, still gritty with sand.
'You're wrong, Dan, I-'
'Elizabeth,' he said, and just held her. 'Things will happen to people that you can't do anything about. They will have their hearts broken. They will run away to Melbourne and Sydney. They will trip on a hose, or get cheated on or … '
Lizzie heard the catch in his voice, the hesitation, and held her breath.
'Or even get in a car wreck. And there's nothing, absolutely nothing you can do about it. That's life in the world on an ordinary day. Welcome to it.'
'It's too hard,' she said softly into his chest, feeling fragile and overwhelmed. 'It's too hard when things happen to the people you love.'
He understood it. Better than she knew. He felt it, right there, at that moment. He got it.
When he felt her strength start to drain away, her body almost limp in his arms, he shared his own with her, held her up, pressed his lips to the silky hair on top of her head, hoping his wildly beating heart would help hers regain its rhythm.
'You take on their pain too, don't you? And then it feels like it hurts you more because there's nothing you can do to help them.'
He felt her nod, and he pulled back from her slightly. He had to see her eyes. Had to judge what was in them.
'I've been thinking about what you told me, months ago, down on the beach that night. You said that shit happens because it happens. That life's too short to drive yourself crazy asking why.'
She let out a deep breath, shuddered with it. 'I'm clearly full of crap, aren't I?'
'No, you're not. It helped me, you know that?'
'It did?'
'And what I'm wondering is, why the hell haven't you listened to your own advice and stopped beating yourself up about things you can't change?'
Lizzie was still. The colour had drained from her face. Her eyes were pale and wet.
And then a realisation hit him, one that should have been obvious to him all along. He looked deep into her eyes, wondering if he could see right inside her. Was it there, in that sadness, in those tears?
Shivers goosed up his spine. 'What happened to you, Elizabeth?'
There was nothing from her but a sigh. No words, no confirmation, but no denial either.
They stood for a long beat, entwined, Dan not wanting to let go of the woman whose heart seemed to be breaking. 'Will you tell me?'
She shook her head against his chest, sniffed.
Dan didn't push. He knew pushing hadn't helped him. As he held her, feeling the turmoil so close to the surface, he remembered what he'd said to Joe at Christmas. She needs someone to look out for her. When Joe had replied, 'That's you, is it?' Dan hadn't known the answer back then.
He did now.
CHAPTER
26
Lizzie dug deep down for the resolve to let go of Dan. She couldn't think. She needed to get away from him, keep under control the urge to give in. But the warmth and safety, the strength of his arms, was almost too good. When she began to wriggle her way out of his embrace, he didn't fight it. She managed to step back from him, from the heat of his gaze that had seen straight through her and shattered her.
'I need to go.'
'Wait.'
'I need to ring Harri's sons in Adelaide, let them know what's happened.'
'Okay.' Dan's words were understanding but there was a tension in his jaw, a seriousness in his eyes that she couldn't decipher.
Lizzie glanced down at her bikini and her wetsuit, the arms of which were flapping around her hips. 'And I need to have a shower.' She tried not to notice the way he looked at her body. Not now, she begged him silently, please don't.
'And I seem to have a throbbing headache.' She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the sight of Dan, so gorgeous, so caring, so supportive of her. She'd let him get too close and now she felt shivery with nerves and afraid and all she wanted was to run from him, get home and hide in her bedroom with the covers pulled up way over her head.
'Elizabeth. Stop it.' He reached out and wrapped his fingers around her wrist.
'Stop pushing me away.' Dan took a step closer. 'You don't have to do this on your own. I'm not going anywhere.'
Lizzie jumped back, turned on her heel. Her head was a jumbled mess of everything she'd said and thought and felt during the past half hour. She needed to get away, needed to think and unscramble what she was feeling.
'Dan, I can't do this right now. I need to think about Harri. Can you let Julia and Ry know what's happened?'
She was almost too scared to look at him, fearful of what the expression on his face would do to her insides. When she finally did, he pulled her close and kissed her. His soft lips on hers, one comforting hand on her arm, the other on her cheek, said so much more than words could. She understood the message. He was saying, I'm here. You can count on me.
She slipped out of his embrace, too scared to stop walking away from the ten kinds of handsome – and ten kinds of good – Dan McSwaine.
Lizzie waited very impatiently for Joe to call with news of Harri. She filled the time with phone calls to Harri's two sons. Son number one had dropped everything and was on his way to hospital. Son number two had been tied up in court, so she'd left a message with his assistant. While she waited for news, Lizzie decided to make sure things were in order in Harri's place, given Harri would be away for at least a couple of weeks.
Lizzie had been inside her neighbour's house hundreds of times but she realised, as she pushed open the front door, that being there alone was very different. The place was eerie without Harri in it. The carpet runner in the hallway dulled her footsteps as she made her way to the open kitchen and living area at the back. The radio on the kitchen bench was still announcing the news of the day and Lizzie turned it off. She opened the fridge and poured away half a litre of milk that would expire by the time Harri was home again. A supermarket packet of defrosting chicken would also have to go, as well as a selection of salad vegetables. Lizzie added them all to the half-filled rubbish bag and then put the whole lot in the outside bin. It could be weeks, Lizzie knew, before Harri would be back. She would not only need time in hospital to recover from her surgery, but time in rehab as well.
Lizzie took a long look around the tidy, old-lady house and wondered if this would be her life in forty years time. Would she still be living in Middle Point? Perhaps relishing her role as honorary Aunt to Julia and Ry's future children? Maybe Harri would hand down to her the mantle of wise old sage of the town. She could then dispense wisdom and local folklore from the pub, grow her hair long and grey, even start wearing it in a signature bun on top of her head just as Harri had for decades.