She'd not thought about this chain of damage for years, not until Dan's accident and not really until Joe's confession.
Was she as brave as Joe? In her private moments, when she was in bed late at night, the cool of the sheets on her limbs, the gusting southerlies rattling the windowpanes and fluttering her curtains, she tried to imagine telling the story again.
Was she strong enough this time to cope with the consequences?
CHAPTER
23
The weather in Middle Point during January veered from eye-poppingly blazing hot, to cloudy and wet, often within twenty-four hours, but the locals took it in their stride. Usually it was cooler down on the coast than it was in Adelaide, which is what had attracted holidaymakers for more than a century to the small towns along the Fleurieu Peninsula during summer holidays.
No matter the weather, when it was peak season, the pub was busy and that meant Lizzie was busy. The added attraction of The Market every Sunday morning had seen more and more people coming to Middle Point. There were now twice as many stalls as they'd started out with, which thrilled Lizzie to her toes, and the breakfast trade had started well and was growing, too.
It hadn't been a challenge for Lizzie to keep her distance from Dan. She spent most of her waking hours at work and he hadn't shown up there. She hadn't forgotten his parting words to her: You know where I am. And I'll be waiting. She knew exactly where he was and she needed him like a pub needs beer, but she couldn't summon up the courage to say it to his face. Saying she needed someone, needed him in particular, came with all sorts of complications. Lizzie had learned not to need people. She'd never had a father to rely on. Her mother and grandmother had died. Joe had left Middle Point and so had Julia. Other people she'd relied on had abandoned her, too. What was the point? From a very early age she'd learned to stand on her own two feet. Needing people only hurt too much when they let you down.
As the days wore on, Lizzie grew progressively more tired and sick of herself. Joe had reverted to the archetypal cynical journo and was now regularly on his soapbox, with her as a reluctant audience, railing against love and commitment and all that went with it. It was all an excruciating irony for Lizzie, given that she was soon to be the bridesmaid at her best friend's wedding, the embodiment of love and commitment between two people.
She glanced around at the packed front bar and was relieved it was her time for a half-hour lunch break. The bride-to-be was parked at a corner table over in the dining area, her laptop open in front of her, typing furiously. Lizzie walked over and sat opposite, placed her octopus salad on the table, and began picking at it in a desultory fashion.
Julia tore her eyes of the screen and looked over the table at her friend. 'We've made a decision, Lizzie.'
Julia's smile would have been infectious if Lizzie wasn't so shattered. She crunched on her baby spinach, speared chunks of her octopus and managed an absent-minded smile between bites. 'That's good.' Lizzie had propped one elbow on the table and rested her chin there, barely finding the energy to chew.
'Ry and I have decided where the wedding will be.'
'Nice.' Lizzie took another bite, completely oblivious to the silence of Julia's scrutinising gaze.
'We're going to go with a nude theme.'
'Uh huh.'
'Ry's going to parachute in wearing nothing but a smile.'
'Great.'
Julia reached over and touched her friend's hand. Lizzie startled and looked up through heavily lidded eyes.
'Right. That's it.' Julia slammed her laptop shut and reached for her mobile.
Lizzie dropped her fork with a clatter, felt the guilt battle with the fatigue. 'Sorry, Jools, I wasn't paying attention.'
Julia pressed her phone to her ear, her cheeks ruddy with anger. 'Go get your things,' she instructed Lizzie. 'Ry, it's me. You need to find someone to take over at the pub for a couple of days. I'm taking Lizzie home. She's exhausted.'
Lizzie held up a hand, waved it at Julia. 'I'm okay, Jools. Stop it. I just need a coffee. Or three.'
'Okay. We'll wait 'til you get here.' Julia jabbed the screen and dropped her phone on the table. Then she turned her attention to Lizzie. 'Have you realised how hard you've been working? When's the last time you had two consecutive days off?'
Lizzie stopped, let her mind whir back over the past few weeks, and it took a few moments to realise it had been around the day the two of them had gone wedding dress shopping in Adelaide. A month before.
'I thought so,' Julia said through gritted teeth. 'You can't remember, either. You've been doing your new job, working on the renovation, running The Market on Sundays, coping with tourist season. And on top of that, you've had Joe.'
Julia hadn't added Dan to that mix, Lizzie noticed. She blinked the thought of him away.
'I'm going to look after you, Lizzie. It's about time somebody did. As soon as Ry arrives, I'm taking you home and forcing you to rest.'
Lizzie didn't know where they'd come from but she felt tears in her eyes.
'I am going to force-feed you chocolate and wine and make you watch at least three decent rom-coms. Per day. Total R&R.'
It was a miracle to Lizzie that her best friend knew exactly what she needed. She managed a smile. 'You're so bossy.'
'And from now on, the wedding planning is out of your hands. I shouldn't have asked you, with all that you've got on your plate. How crazy was I?'
'No, don't do that,' Lizzie exclaimed. 'I'm as excited about the wedding as you are. It's no trouble, really.'
Julia shook her head, adamant. 'You are officially relieved of wedding duties. As of right now.'
Lizzie signed. 'As much as I love the summer, I'm kind of looking forward to when the school year starts so all this craziness will slow down.'
'Ladies.' Ry appeared by Julia's side, kissed her warmly. 'I was on my way. What's going on?'
'You,' Julia jabbed him in the chest, 'are working my best friend too hard.'
Ry pulled up a chair, sat down and searched Lizzie's face. 'It has been kind of busy, hasn't it, Lizzie?'
She shrugged. 'It's the season, Ry. That's why no one down here on the south coast takes holidays this time of year. We usually wait until the middle of winter and then find somewhere warm. With no people.'
Ry shook his head. 'Julia's right. This has been a bit of an experiment, our first summer. I know you've taken on The Market as well and our numbers are looking sensational. What do you say we get someone in to help? Maybe an assistant manager?'
Lizzie nodded. 'That sounds great, Ry.'
'Good. I'm taking over now so go home.' He shooed the two women out of the pub and towards his car.
Home. Lizzie thought about what home was as her own came into view. She'd barely seen it lately and missed it terribly. Of course, when she'd been home, to fall into bed and do almost nothing else, Joe had been there, taking up too much space for one person. He'd been a total misery guts. At first, she'd been full of understanding, sympathetic utterings and bottles of whisky. But her patience had begun to wear thin. So something crappy had happened to him. He wasn't the first person in the world to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous … she was too tired to remember the rest.
Lizzie pushed open her front door to find Joe stretched out on the sofa. She heard Julia behind her swearing under her breath.
'Hey,' he said, barely looking in her direction.
'Right. That's it.' Julia was in full she-wolf mode.
Julia pointed at Joe. 'You. Sydney. Grab a change of clothes and an overnight bag. I'm going to introduce you to the pleasures of beachfront living, from my spare bedroom.'
'Huh?' Now she had Joe's attention.
'Lizzie needs some peace and quiet and she's not getting it with you here.'
He sat up slowly, a scowl on his face. 'Are you kicking me out?'
Julia rolled her eyes at Lizzie. 'Not surprised he's a journalist. He catches on fast, doesn't he? Yes, Joe, I'm kicking you out. I'm looking after my best friend, who's been too busy looking after you and everyone else to realise that she is about to drop from exhaustion.'
Joe's scowl was replaced by a look of genuine concern as he regarded his sister. 'Yeah, you do look like crap.'
'Thanks, Stinkface,' she muttered.
Joe stood to his full height. 'I can just stay out of her way. I don't need to evacuate to your place, Jools.'
Julia tossed him a bag full of DVDs. 'We're about to begin a rom-com marathon. Four Weddings and a Funeral. Bridget Jones's Diary. When Harry Met Sally. The Wedding Singer … and that's just today. Any questions?'
Joe hadn't moved so fast since he'd been back in Middle Point. 'I'll just get my stuff.'
Two weddings in to Four Weddings and a Funeral, Julia paused the movie. Lizzie lay sleepily on the long sofa, stretched out like a cat. Joe had gone to Ry and Julia's, happy to escape the overdose of oestrogen. Lizzie felt happily lazy, a glass of white wine on the table in front of her, her best friend right by her side with whom she could share raunchy comments about the younger Hugh Grant. Who was now paused mid-sentence.
Julia grinned. 'So, here's what I was trying to tell you at the pub before you went all dozy on me.'