Someone Like You(37)

     



 

'How have you been?' Dan asked quietly, a question clearly intended only  for her, not the flapping ears of the two matriarchs who were hanging  on every word, watching the conversation with raised eyebrows and  curious eyes.

'Fine and dandy, thanks Dan.' Lizzie looked up at him with a forced smile.

'I hear The Market was a huge triumph.'

'Yes, it was. A rip-roaring success as a matter of fact.'

'That's great to hear. You worked really hard on it.'

'Yes I did, didn't I?' Lizzie snorted. And then she laughed out loud.  Too loud. The room had gone dead quiet and everyone was watching her.  There was a pounding in her head as if her heart was beating in her  brain instead of inside her chest. She felt herself shrinking at the  attention, the tightness in her throat like a rigor mortis of panic.

'Dinner's ready!' Julia called.

'Thank God for that,' Lizzie muttered and rose unsteadily to her feet.

Dinner was unbearable. Sure, the food was fantastic and the company was  easy. For the most part. Ry and Julia were rightly proud of their table  and were beaming to be hosting their first Christmas. Barbra shot Dan  the occasional worried glance and he knew she was wondering why he was  so quiet. Harri entertained everyone with stories of characters from the  local district, many of whom now lived only in legend. The Sydney Snake  was acting a little weird, Dan decided, suspicious of his sullen  silences and fondness for red wine.

As for Lizzie, she didn't look at him. Not once. But that didn't mean he  could take his eyes off her. It was as if he'd endured his own personal  Elizabeth drought and he'd become a man with an unquenchable thirst.  He'd imagined that time away from her would make it easier to come back,  that he would have somehow become used to not seeing her and that he  wouldn't want her so much.

But the exact opposite was true.

When he'd walked in, carrying the presents he'd scoured the city for,  he'd almost swallowed his tongue at the sight of her in that red dress.  It was made from some kind of shimmery material and it hugged her curves  in a way that his hands itched to do. There was a glow in her cheeks,  her blue eyes were bright, and in her ears, two red baubles danced,  miniature Christmas decorations that jangled and sparkled.

And now, sitting directly opposite her during dinner, face to face with  her for the first time in weeks, he couldn't think of a thing to say.  All his resolve to stay away from her was being stretched to the limit  as he watched her laugh with her friends, share herself with the people  she cared about. During the main course, she teased her brother,  interrogated Ry and Julia on the details of the wedding, urged Harri to  go back to the doctor about her hip and admired Barbra's earrings. She  had something for everyone. Except for him.

Maybe that was for the best. Maybe she could see through him, through  everything he was trying to hide. If she could, she would see that the  last thing he wanted to do was get any more deeply involved with her. It  was best he kept a distance between them, now, for her sake.

Julia picked up a fork and tinkled it against her glass, like people do  at weddings when they want the bride and groom to kiss. The chatter  stopped and she stood. When Ry looked up at his fiancée, everyone could  see in that beaming smile how crazy he was about his bride-to-be.

'I just want to say … Merry Christmas everyone. Thank you for sharing this  special day with us. It means so much. Sometimes I look around and I  can't believe my life.' Julia let out a half laugh, half cry. 'When I  think back to where I was a year ago, this doesn't seem real.'

She took a deep breath and found her wine glass among the empty dishes,  crumpled napkins and the remnants of the delicious Christmas meal which  were scattered haphazardly on white platters.

'Twelve months ago I was working in Melbourne and, if I remember  correctly, I spent Christmas at home, alone, watching It's a Wonderful  Life and sobbing for Jimmy Stewart. For the twentieth time, I might add.  If it wasn't for a phone call from my dear friend Lizzie, I might not  have spoken to anyone else that day.' Julia raised her glass to Lizzie  and shot her a knowing smile. 'It was my first Christmas without Mum,  and … ' her voice broke, 'it was tough going.'

Ry took her hand in his.

'And now, look at all this.' She looked at every one them in turn. 'To  be here with all of you is a blessing to me.' She glanced at Ry. 'Ry and  I are grateful for so much. We're grateful we got a second chance.  We're grateful we are living here in this beautiful part of the world.  We're grateful to have you all in our lives.' When the tears began  rolling down her cheeks, she turned to her fiancé. 'Ry, you'd better  take over.'         

     



 

He stood slowly and Dan was surprised to see his friend getting all emotional too. Were there tears in his eyes?

Ry cleared his throat, took a deep breath. 'I am so grateful Julia came  back into my life and said yes when I begged her to marry me.' Ry bent  over and gave Julia a loving kiss. Barbra wiped her tears with a napkin.  Harri sniffed. 'And I'm especially grateful that my best friend Dan is  sitting here at the table with us.'

Dan stilled. Each pair of eyes turned to him and he felt a confronting silence that closed in on him like a soupy fog.

'I don't have to tell you what it was like getting the phone call from  the cops the night of the accident. I don't ever want a day like that  again. But you're here with us, even if your nose is a little crooked  now, and that's the best Christmas present ever in my book.' Dan picked  up his glass, lifted it in a toast. 'To Dan.'

'To Dan,' they all echoed.

Dan ignored the tight feeling across his chest and steeled himself to  look at all of them in turn. When he saw Ry's tears, Julia's, Barbra's,  it hit him like a sledgehammer.

For the first time he got it.

The accident had happened to them, too.

Their bones hadn't been broken but their hearts had. They'd all been  there, spending long hours at his bedside in hospital, especially Ry.  Theirs were the first faces he'd seen, along with his parents'. They'd  never left him alone, never given up on him. Even in the past few months  when he'd locked himself away in his beach shack of misery.

Dan managed a wordless smile as he lifted his glass in salute to them  all. When he finally let himself looked across the table at Elizabeth,  he felt his heartbeat bolt into a sprint. She'd dipped her head and was  staring at the tablecloth. Nothing could hide the fact that big, fat  tears were spilling from her eyes and streaming down her cheeks.

Had the accident happened to her, too?

'How about we open those presents,' Barbra announced, nodding to the Christmas tree.

'I was hoping someone would say that,' Julia said. The others followed  the cue and headed over to the tree to admire the pile of gifts. Joe  helped Harri over and pulled over a dining chair for her to sit on.

Dan rounded the table and sat down next to Lizzie. Before he could even  think about it doing it or not, he'd reached out to hold her hand. It  wasn't enough, would never be enough. But he held back.

'Elizabeth,' he murmured. 'C'mon … don't cry.'

When she looked up at him, her eyes red and welling with tears,  something in his universe shifted and rearranged itself. A black hole  opened up and sucked him right in.

'Go join the others,' she managed in a whisper. 'It's just … Christmas, you know.'

'Christmas can suck.' He knew there were no words that could take away  the pain she clearly felt at having spent so many Christmases alone.

Lizzie gave a little shake of her head and the red baubles in her ears danced and sparkled in the light. 'No, that's not it.'

She gazed up at him, her eyes glistening, her lips parted slightly. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

'What is it? What's wrong?'

'It's just … there is so much to be grateful for this year. Don't you think?'

Dan fought off the desire to hold her, to kiss her. All he could do was  nod. He knew what she meant and realised she was trying to get him to  understand how grateful he should be.

He was getting there.

Lizzie shook off his hand. She reached over the empty dinner plates for a  white linen napkin and used it to dab her eyes, then took a lungful of  air and centred herself.

'I think we'd better get over to the tree. Julia will open all my  presents if I'm not there.' She stood, smoothed down the skirt of her  crinkly red dress. He didn't know what he wanted to say but he didn't  want to let her go. He reached out, held her arm.

'Elizabeth,' he said, rising to his full height and moving so close to  her that he could make out the different shades of blue in her eyes:  aqua, denim, sapphire. He leaned over to whisper in her ear, her floral  perfume invading his senses. 'Can we talk later? Alone?'

It was barely there but she shook her head. 'I don't think that's a good  idea, Dan.' She moved away and joined the others around the tree.

Lizzie dug deep to find a smile as she took in the scene all around her.  Ry, Julia, Barbra, Harri and Joe were knee-deep in wrapping paper and  gifts. She tried to feel it, she really did. And she tried to avoid  looking at Dan but every nerve ending was aware of him, so close, that  she prickled with awareness. She could barely look at anyone in case her  eyes wandered over and met his, keenly aware, even without looking at  him, that he was watching her every move.