Someone Like Her(80)

 When the man embraced him, Jake squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, he looked straight at her. Frozen in place by his intense focus on her, she wanted to cry upon seeing the despair in his eyes. She smiled and fought against the trembling of her mouth. He broke the contact between them and slipped into the pew behind her brother and Mr. Bayne.

 The air swished out of her lungs. She wanted to go to him, had planned to, but now she wasn’t sure if she should. There’d been no warmth for her in his eyes, no welcoming invitation. Logan had said to give him time, but what if he couldn’t get past Rick’s death and never came back? Not wanting to do the wrong thing, indecision gripped her.

 “You should go to him.”

 Maria leaned her head against Jamie’s shoulder. “You just get here? Have you talked to him?”

 “Yes, just got here. And no, I haven’t talked to him since the debriefing. He won’t take my calls.”

 “Yeah, mine either. He’s only talking to Logan, and my stupid brother won’t tell me anything. He just keeps saying to give Jake time. Do you really think I should go sit with him?”

 “I do. He wants you with him even if he’s trying to convince himself he doesn’t deserve you.”

 She peered up at Saint. “You think that’s what he’s doing?”

 “I know it. Go on.”

 Jamie put his hand on her back and gave her a little push. Maria tossed him a grateful smile over her shoulder and, with her heart banging against her chest, walked to the front of the chapel and slid into the pew next to Jake just as the minister approached the pulpit.

 The man who held her heart and happiness in his hands stared straight ahead, his body stiff and unyielding. He might as well have hung a “Keep Off” sign around his neck. The salt from the tears welling up burned her eyes. She blinked hard and glanced at the casket. If she cried, at least everyone would think it was because of Rick, and it would be partly for that reason.

 Her tears were also for the man sitting beside her. It was hard to understand, though. If she was hurting as badly as Jake was, the first person she’d turn to would be him. She’d want his comfort, his words of assurance that somehow things would get better and that he’d stand beside her in her time of need.

 Yet, Logan had reacted the same way as Jake did—closing up and pushing her away—after Evan had been killed. So was it a man thing? Was their pride so great that if they weren’t perfect in every little thing, they blamed themselves for whatever went wrong? Of course, Rick getting killed wasn’t a little thing, and there had to be more to the story than she was privy to.

 If Jake would only talk to her, tell her what happened, maybe she could find the right words to ease his pain. Even if she couldn’t, just getting it off his chest should help him some. They’d been friends before they became lovers and wasn’t one of the benefits of having a friend to be able to lean on them during difficult times? There was no doubt in her mind that if she was going through an emotional crisis, Jake would be there for her. Why wouldn’t he let her be there for him?

 If Jamie was right and Jake didn’t think he deserved her after whatever had happened in Egypt, then that was just stupid. She made up her mind that if Jake wouldn’t let her in, she’d make Logan so miserable he’d tell her what happened just to get rid of her.

 “Please stand for the Lord’s Prayer,” the preacher said.

 “Our Father, who art in heaven.”

 As Maria listened to those around her join in with the minister’s soothing voice, she slipped her hand into Jake’s. Expecting him to shake her off, she was surprised—and relieved—when he gripped her hand hard enough to hurt. She didn’t care because it meant he did need her, if only he’d admit it to himself.

 All through the remainder of the service, he held on tightly to her hand. When the soloist began to sing “Go Rest High on That Mountain” by Vince Gill, a shudder traveled through Jake, one she felt against her shoulder and in their held hands. Maria tightened her grip, bowed her head, and uselessly fought her tears.

 “Wait for me,” she whispered when the last amen sounded and Jake stood to join Logan, Jamie, Brad Stewart, and two other K2 employees to bear the casket out.

 He didn’t.

 Nor did he show up for the burial at the cemetery. Nor did he appear at Logan’s where everyone gathered afterward.



       “Where the hell is he, Logan? And if you say I just need to give him time, I swear, you’ll never be able to make another baby with Dani.” Three days had passed since the funeral, and Logan had steadfastly refused to tell her anything. Although she’d never thought herself a violent person, she was ready to beat the crap out of him to make him talk.