It was true, but only because Corbin had done something to make me laugh. "You were distracting me."
"Was I?" He slid his hand over my backside and squeezed. Just like prom night, my knees buckled, my breath caught. "It's like pressing a button," he whispered in my ear.
I hated how my body reacted to him, but at least I knew my pleasure wouldn't always be bound to a man I couldn't have.
"Why don't you two just get married already?" Vickie asked.
Corbin dropped to one knee, looking up at me. "Marry me, Kaplan. Would you? I promise to make you real happy. At least twice a night."
Everyone laughed. I even smiled. God, if anyone could pull me out of a funk, it was Corbin. If only love was as easy as that.
But it wasn't. I looked over Corbin's head at some movement in the distance, squinting into the dark at the big, shadowy figure headed our way from the parking lot. Manning. The man who, hours earlier, had joked with me about guest plates and then stood silently by while my heart broke. Everything that'd happened the last couple hours sat dangerously close to the surface. I didn't know how I'd say all the things I needed to, but I'd never be able to stand here with him and pretend everything was normal.
I went around Corbin to meet Manning, to stop him from coming over here and making me look even more stupid. My nose tingled, words like betrayal and how could you and stop this bubbling up my throat as I pushed a few steps through the sand . . . and stopped where I was. Tiffany was on his back, waving at us. He touched her, carried her, kissed her, committed to a life with her and left nothing for me. It should've been me. I wanted it to be me so badly. Their playfulness shattered something in me, and I hiccupped, jolting some tears onto my cheeks.
A hand on my elbow pulled at me. "Lake," Val said, tugging me back. "Come on, Lake."
"No."
"Come on. Come here."
My body shook, my chest rattling. Val pulled me hard, away from the fire, away from everyone. "What . . . is it?" I couldn't speak. It took everything I had not to burst into tears. "What do you want?"
"It's him, isn't it?" Val asked. "He's the one. Your sister's boyfriend."
I shook my head hard. "No. He's not."
She wrapped me in a hug and squeezed me so hard, some of my tears splashed onto her shoulder. "I see it so clearly now. You should've told me."
"You would've thought I was awful."
"No way." She swayed us back and forth. "You're my best friend. My right to judge you was automatically revoked when you earned that title."
Relief filtered through me. Finally, somebody knew, and not just somebody-a real friend. "I saw him first. I knew him first." My silent tears became quiet, snotty sobs. "I loved him first."
"Does he know?"
I nodded into her neck.
She pulled me away by my shoulders. Her eyes were bloodshot but deadly serious. "He does? And how does he feel about you?"
I shrugged pathetically. "I thought I knew . . . I thought we . . . but he's going to marry her."
"You thought what-that he loved you back?"
"He does, I know he does," I said. "But he won't admit it. He pretends he doesn't."
"Oh my God. Are you sure?"
"Yes, but she's my sister," I said. "What choice do I have?"
"Do you really love him, Lake? Really, really love him, the kind of love that makes Rhett pine for Scarlett or Miss Piggy terrorize Kermit?"
I hiccupped again, this time with a laugh. "Only him. Only ever him."
She sucked in a breath. "You have to tell him how you feel."
Val was a closet romantic. She wanted there to be some resolution I couldn't give her. It wasn't that simple. "I can't. I've tried, but he won't hear it."
"How long have you loved him?"
I couldn't raise my answer above a whisper. "Two years."
"If you live to be eighty, that's over sixty more years you have to live wondering what might've happened if you'd spoken up. It'll hurt when you rip off the Band-Aid, but only for a short time. Compared to sixty years, it'll be nothing."
Sixty years of this hell. I didn't expect the pain of losing him to ever go away, but surely it would dull. Surely it would get easier. But she was right. I didn't want to live that long wondering what-if? "If I tell him, I'm betraying my own sister, Val. How can I do that?"
She heaved a sigh. "I don't have a sister but if you ever tried to steal my fiancé, even if you truly didn't believe I loved him, I'd scratch your eyes out. Your sister is flighty. She'll turn it into drama and then she'll forget all about it." She tapped a fingertip on my shoulder, twisting her lips. "Or . . . it's possible she'd never forgive you."