"Really?" she asked, watching me closely. She sounded more curious than angry. "Is that all it is?"
We stared each other down. I'd been careful these past couple months. Lake and I were never alone. I barely looked at her, let alone spoke to her. Maybe Tiffany had caught me staring. I did that, sometimes, without realizing it. "Of course that's all," I said and disappeared into the bedroom, a pit of guilt forming in my stomach, because it wasn't true.
That wasn't all it was. Not by a long shot.
12
Manning
For Lake's honor roll ceremony, I wore the nicest things I owned-slacks, a dress shirt and tie, and a light cashmere pullover. They were all gifts from Cathy, who shopped often and slipped us things without Charles knowing. It bugged the hell out of me to take more charity from Tiffany's parents, except in cases like this, where I wanted to look nice. I'd even gotten a real haircut at a legit barber for the first time since before prison.
I drove us to the high school, parked, and put the keys in my pocket. While Tiffany led the way to the auditorium, I looked around the campus where Lake spent most of her days. If Maddy were still alive, she'd have been eighteen this year. I would've done things like this with her, helped with college applications, quizzed her for final exams, watched her receive honors. She would've. She was smart, driven, and creative. She'd wanted to do something artistic, but even if she'd tried to get out of going to college, I would've made her do it.
The Kaplans stood outside the auditorium. My eyes went straight to Lake's profile as she spoke to her father. She was changing before my eyes, subtle things I doubted anyone else even noticed. I did. There were more freckles on her nose than she'd had months ago. Her hair fell longer down her back. It made her look younger when we were all just hanging around the house, but sometimes, like tonight, she wore it up in a twisty thing and could pass for early twenties. It made my gut smart each time it hit me-she was getting older every day, living a life that didn't include me.
I'd learned through dinner conversation that she'd been in a school play while I was inside, and since I'd gotten out, she'd been taking drama and improv classes. I could see the difference in her personality. She still didn't seek the spotlight, but she was more self-assured than she'd been when we'd met. It was a quiet confidence I could sit and watch for minutes at a time without even realizing it, and that was dangerous.
"How long will this take?" Tiffany asked as we approached her family.
Everyone turned to us. "This is a big honor for your sister," Charles said. "She's Student of the Month and number three in her entire graduating class."
I met Lake's eyes, trying to convey how proud I was with a look. She smiled back. Wrapped up in her, it took me a moment to feel Charles's eyes on me. Quickly, I looked at Tiffany, my go-to whenever I was caught staring at Lake.
Tiffany put an arm around Lake. "Congrats, little sis," she said and whispered something in her ear-a long, seemingly detailed message that made Lake's eyes go huge and her cheeks flush.
What was it about? Not me, I guessed, since both girls started to giggle. They didn't often have moments like this, but it always threw me when they did. I was used to them bickering.
Tiffany returned to my side, and everyone looked at me. "Congratulations." I cleared my throat. "You should be so-proud." My heart tightened into a ball as I said it. I knew how hard she'd worked. How smart she was. How much she wanted to impress her dad.
"We all are," Charles said, kissing her on top of the head. "It isn't number one, but it's certainly still impressive."
Lake glanced at me and then the ground. Why was she embarrassed? Because she wasn't number one? In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be the man who announced in front of everyone that she was number one in my eyes.
"Cut her some slack," Tiffany said. "Senior year is supposed to be fun."
"You've had enough fun for the entire family," he retorted.
Tiffany flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Can we go in? It's hot out here."
Tiffany's dad hurt her when he spoke like that, but she didn't show it. At least, not the way most people would. Tiffany's emotions surfaced in other ways. As we walked into the auditorium, I put a hand on her upper back to comfort her.
Lake looked away. "We're in the front row," she said and waved to where other students had gathered. We took our seats right under the stage, me at one end, next to Tiffany, Charles and Cathy at the other, with Lake in the middle.