11
Manning
Gary came out of my apartment with a beer in each hand just as I turned off the sander. I'd set aside a couple days to build an entertainment unit for the apartment, but with Gary's help, it'd only taken us the afternoon. The complex had a large, open lawn by the pool, so we'd set up near the closest outlet. I followed Gary to some chaise lounges from the pool he'd moved under a tree. I dragged mine a few feet over, my back to the trunk, so I could see the whole lawn.
"That didn't take very long," Gary said, adjusting his seat next to mine. "Maybe we should keep going. You guys need anything else?"
"Coffee table. Dresser. The kitchen cabinets are shit. You name it, we probably need it."
"Then we'll have a beer and do some more."
I shook my head. "I still have to put the stain on, and I only picked out enough wood for the TV stand."
Gary shrugged. "Next week then."
"Hope to have a job by next week."
"Yeah? What you got going on?"
I sipped beer and looked across the lawn at nothing. I'd been back in the real world two months with nothing to show for it. A part-time position at a garage and a few construction jobs here and there-barely enough to give Tiffany half of each month's rent, forget food or anything else. "I'm working with my PO, but his caseload is so heavy, he isn't much help. There might be an opening on a site in Santa Ana. One of the guys got hurt, so I'm just waiting to hear. Problem is transportation. I have to work out the car situation with Tiffany and I can tell it's getting on her nerves."
"Good luck, man. I know it's been tough. I wish I could help, I just-"
"I know." Gary brought it up all the time. He wanted to help, but his hands were tied. He ran the youth program at the local YMCA and had given me a chance two years ago as a camp counselor. It went without saying that after I'd been arrested at that same camp, I wasn't exactly a hero amongst parents or staff.
"It's fucked," Gary said. "You were better with those kids than half the staff we've got now."
I gave him a look. "It's not fucked. It's reality. I'm a felon."
"You're not, though. Wrong place, wrong time doesn't make you anything more than unlucky."
I picked at the label of my bottle. Gary had visited me in prison all the way up until my release. In the beginning, I hadn't been able to figure out his angle. He'd been good to me during our first visit, asking if I needed anything, when I would've expected him to be pissed that I'd drawn negative attention to the program. But I'd come to find out that for some reason, Gary thought I was all right. He believed I hadn't committed this crime. For that reason, I felt a lot of guilt about lying to him. If he knew where I'd really been that night, he wouldn't be so understanding.
"What if I did do it?" I asked. Sometimes I pictured Lake gliding on her back in the dark water, waiting for me. "What if I'd do it again? I'm not the same man I was when I went in."
Gary drank some more. "I don't know, man. Not sure why you're always trying to convince me you're no good."
"Not trying to convince you about anything. Just stating facts. You get a chance to talk to Bucky?"
Gary inhaled a deep breath. "Yeah, and it's like I told you. He's an asshole but he's not a rat. He had nothing to do with your arrest. Why would he?"
"I don't know. Just to be a dick."
"Let it go, Manning. Nobody's out to get you. Well, nobody but Tiffany." He grinned. "Didn't I warn you she'd get her hooks in you?"
"You did." I got out my pack of cigarettes. I was trying to smoke less to save money, but I couldn't quit completely. It was still the best part of my day, most days. Not even the disappointment in Lake's voice that night I'd gotten out was enough to scratch the surface of my cravings. She said she still had the bracelet she'd made me, but what could it do for me now, other than make me feel worse?
"You guys get along all right?" he asked.
"Tiffany? She gets on my case sometimes." Truth be told, I didn't mind it so much. Nobody had given a rat's ass what I did with my life since I'd graduated high school. It was kind of nice, but I wasn't about to admit that to Gary. "I look for work every day. It's hard without a car, and my credit tanked while I was inside, so I can't get a decent lease. My last resort is trucking. I don't really want to go on the road if I don't have to."
"Doesn't her dad pay the rent?"
"I give him as much as I can each month, and I've been getting Tiffany to contribute more and more. I've suggested we move to a more sensible place, but neither Tiff nor her dad want that."
"How'd you two get hooked up again?"