Mahrree suppressed her laugh, and it showed up instead as a sweet smile on her face. “Thank you, Gizzada. And thank you in advance for taking care of my husband.”
He looked down at the children who gave him one last try with their lambs’ eyes. “Next time, Small Ones, I promise I’ll have extra treats, all right?”
He patted their heads gently, tipped his cap at Mahrree, and took off in a lumbering jog back to the fort.
Mahrree sighed and looked again towards the forest to distantly see Perrin kick his heels into his mount and head off again towards the east, yelling something. It wasn’t his panicked yell, Mahrree noticed. Only his, I’m-getting-very-frustrated-with-the-situation yell, which meant there wasn’t anything dangerous, just maddening.
Truly a massive pie just out of his reach.
“We need to get some berries,” Mahrree decided.
“Fodder?” Peto asked, pointing at the fort.
“I’m sorry, sweety. Your father is busy right now. See over there? The horsey? That’s Father. He’s not too happy right now. Let’s make him a pie for later to cheer him up. On to the market.”
---
It was past dinner time and Perrin still hadn’t returned, nor had Shem been by with a message. That was all right.
In fact, it was better this way.
Mahrree rubbed her hands nervously as she stared at the lovely blackberry pie with two small slices and one large slice already cut out and eaten for dessert.
“Fodder!” Peto sang to the back door, as if his voice would bring Perrin.
“I’m sorry, Peto,” Mahrree said as she picked him up. She pointed out the thick glassed window towards the back fence. “No Fodder, I mean, Father tonight. He has to work until late.”
Peto sighed sadly and wriggled to be put back down. “No Fodder,” he moped as he toddled back to the eating room.
“That means something is still going on,” Mahrree said to herself, wringing her hands. As much as she wanted something to keep going on, a small cowardly part of her didn’t. She had made a deal with herself that morning, and hoped against herself all day. But now as it grew to be evening, she realized she was going to have to—
No, she was grasping the opportunity to go through with it. She desperately wanted to, but strangely, she almost as urgently hoped someone or something would stop her.
The evening dragged on at a curiously fast rate as Mahrree bathed her children, dressed them for bed, and told them stories until they dozed off.
Each hour she watched to see if Perrin came home, and each hour that passed upped her heart rate. She was going to have to do it. She had to know, and she’d forever be ashamed of herself if she let this chance pass. There were more secrets in the world than just that of the thirty-three servants held by the Queruls.
The biggest secrets were held only a couple miles from her house, and those secrets dragged away her husband, threatened her in-laws, and . . . well, she was just tired of it all. Tired of secrets, of unknown variables like her favorite soldier, tired of surprises in the night—it was enough.
There was only one more way her intentions could have been thwarted, but two hours after sundown, the last part of her plan came to the door.
“Mrs. Shin!” Sareen giggled. “I can’t tell you how excited I am to tend your children! I realize Corporal Zenos usually watches them—”
“He won’t be by tonight, Sareen,” Mahrree warned her and put a bracing hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
Sareen’s glow dimmed a bit. “That’s all right. Of course that’s why you asked me to come. But you can tell him that you trusted me!”
Mahrree didn’t feel like dousing her passionate fire just then. “I will, Sareen. Should be rather easy tonight. They’re already asleep, so feel free to relax and take a nap on the sofa until I come home from my mother’s.”
“Oh, I won’t sleep on the job, Mrs. Shin! I’ll stay up for as long as it takes—”
“You know,” Mahrree said with a small smile, “Corporal Zenos naps on our sofa quite frequently. He says that end is the most comfortable for his head. And that over there is his favorite pillow.”
Sareen flushed red. “Oh, oh!” she eyed the pillow as if it was Shem himself, beckoning her to sit on his lap. “Maybe I will take a little nap, if you’re out too late, that is.”
“I really don’t know how long I’ll be gone,” Mahrree said. “So make yourself comfortable, and later you can give me a report on how comfortable it was, and I’ll be sure to tell Shem.”
In a small way she felt guilty for feeding Sareen’s desperate hope, but she really didn’t want her knowing how late Mahrree might be coming home. Sareen fairly danced over to the sofa, picked up the pillow and gave it such a thorough fluffing Mahrree was surprised it didn’t burst open at the top forcing out all the goose down feathers in a white snowstorm.