I grabbed his shirt, yanking him close again, and pressed my lips to his.
He was so still. Oh, God. I was wrong. He wasn’t going to kiss me.
But then he did.
His tongue slipped along the seam between my lips. His arms came around me, pulling me in tight against his muscled frame. His scent filled my head and his strength filled my heart.
He sucked in my lower lip, and the sensation rocked me to my core. I opened my mouth to him and…
And everything changed.
That was the moment I fell—no, I plummeted—in love with my best friend.
Thing is, I didn’t know it then, but that was the beginning of the end.
I throw myself backward on my bed, the butterflies in my belly the product of stubborn memories that should be forgotten.
I crawl under the covers and switch off the lamp.
Buck kissed me by the roadside that day, but stopped before his hands went below my waist. Once he broke that kiss, he backed away and refused to discuss it for so long that I finally gave up. I decided I needed him as my friend more than I needed to understand what happened. I mean, it wasn’t like I could cut him out of my life for not talking about that scorching kiss. Buck meant too much to me.
After all these years—it seems like an eternity—the memories are as crisp and clear as if it were yesterday. Unfortunately, the feelings Buck evoked in the teenaged me seem to simmer right beneath the surface in the adult me.
My fingers trip over my belly, slipping between my legs. I pinch my clit, thinking of the first time Buck did the same.
His big fingers grazed my nub, sending a thrill through me as he nipped my bottom lip, his tongue delving into my mouth. I held onto his shoulders as he sank his finger into my slit, circling until I arched to him, my body thrumming.
I slide my other hand beneath the blanket, dipping into my entrance to smooth the moisture over my clit. Imagining it’s Buck, I push my finger inside, trying to imitate how he brought me to the edge with just his touch, before moving down to kiss my pussy like he was kissing my mouth, until I crashed over the precipice.
My hands are a poor substitute for the real thing, but I rub my bud and thrust my fingers as deep as I can. I recall every touch, every dip of his tongue, every pounding plunge of his cock, until my pussy pulses with the memory and gives me a fraction of the release Buck evoked.
Some release is better than nothing. It’ll have to do, because getting involved with Buck again is the path to ruin, and I’ve been down that road.
I’ll have to avoid him until one of us leaves.
Shouldn’t be too hard. His camera crew will keep him occupied. And I’ve got this house to contend with. All I need to do is figure out where we’ll get the money to finish all the projects Uncle Manny didn’t get to complete.
Unfortunately, separating from the military doesn’t come with a golden parachute. It didn’t come with much, really. A DD-214, a military education in munitions and ordnance assembly, and a nice piece of paper with a shiny gold seal and scrolled writing declaring my honorable discharge.
Whooptie-fucking-do.
FIVE
My door bursts open. I crack an eyelid. Oh joy, Sadie, Aunt Delores’s real niece, is here. Fabulous. I raise my head just enough to pull the pillow from under it and yank it over my eyes.
I whisper, “Go away.”
“Time to get up, Sleepyhead. Aunt Delores tells me you’re going to town later. I need a ride.”
I wave her out the door. “Later doesn’t mean to wake my ass up at unreasonable hours of the day.”
“Unreasonable? It’s ten-thirty.”
I sit bolt upright. “Ten-thirty?”
Damn Buck. I left his ass downstairs last night, but he didn’t leave my mind all night long. Thoughts of him—of us together—kept me awake until almost dawn.
Shit. I’m supposed to meet the lady at the temp agency in less than an hour. And why do I have to cart Sadie around anyway?
Actually, Sadie’s not that bad. She’s always treated me like I’m real family, and not just an honorary niece, who was taken in for a few months after my world shattered, while I finished high school and waited to start college.
Of course, I decided to blow this podunk town and see the world, knowing I’d never leave behind my past as long as I lived here. I’d also never rid myself of the mantle of depression weighing on my shoulders when Buck walked away that last morning, saying goodbye as if I should be happy to see him go.
I shake off the clingy hands of memories that push so close to the surface these days, waiting to climb from the hole I’ve crammed them into. Not today.
I squirt toothpaste onto my toothbrush and stuff it into my mouth while I turn on the shower. As I pull away from the faucet, I knock all four of my travel sized bottles onto the floor. They roll to the side of the tub.