For the first time since yesterday, I pick up my phone and scroll through my texts.
The three from Kelsey still sit there, unanswered. The last one is from four days ago. She only sent one each day for three days. Then they stopped.
She’s pissed.
Her last text says it all.
-Don’t worry. I won’t come after you for anything. I’ll handle this on my own.-
I’m an ass, and it might be wrong to wait until I can see her face to face. But talking through email, texts, or even on the phone about something so huge, doesn’t seem right.
Plus, with everything going on here, I haven’t had the time or energy to worry about a baby…a baby I never thought I’d father. A baby with a woman who didn’t even want to be with me two days before we last saw each other, because we were heading in different directions.
We might’ve been. But what about now?
What’s she going to do about the baby?
What do I want her to do?
Or could she have already done something?
Fuck. Maybe she did. Shit.
I type out a reply to her last text.
-Don’t do anything yet. I should be home in a couple of days. Let’s talk.-
I get no answer from her. Not that I deserve one.
I don’t.
I down my whiskey and push the empty glass toward the barkeep. “Another.”
“You driving this guy?” He raises an eyebrow at Romans.
Romans holds his empty out for a refill. “Fuck no. We have to do our part to keep the cabbies in business, right, Hardick?”
“Cabbies. Business. Abso-fucking-lutely.” My tongue is thick and possibly hairy.
Wait—when did my tongue grow hair?
Glasses filled, we salute one another.
I lift mine a bit higher. “To Carter Shulls, and all of our fallen brothers.”
Romans nods. “Hear, hear.”
We slam our drinks back.
“Romans, you’re a helluva friend. Anyone ever tell you that?”
His eyes go wide, and he points to himself. “Me?”
I slap him on his shoulder. “Yes, you, motherfucker. You flew all the way down here to drink with me.”
He shakes his head. “Naw. I didn’t come down here to drink with you. I am drinking with you, but that’s not why I came.”
“You didn’t?” I try to focus on his face, but he blurs in and out. Something must be wrong with him. “Then why’re you here?”
“I came because you’re a stubborn son-of-a-bitch who needs a rectal craniectomy. The drinking is a bonus. I’ll yank your head outta your ass tomorrow.”
“Oh. Okay.” I slump on my stool. Then his words register in my muddled mind. “Hey. Wait a minute…”
Romans shoves another drink into my hand. “Shut up and drink, asshole. You called. I came. Leave it at that.”
I down the drink.
Kelsey’s image lingers on my mind. It always circles around to her. Every thought comes back to her. “She’s the only one, you know?”
“I know.” He nods. “You’ll get her back.”
I lean toward him, whispering, “How do you know?”
“Because, life has shit on you enough. And you’re a good guy. One of the best I know.”
Carter said that to me once. Then he was gone. I can’t let anything happen to Romans before he knows how much he means to me. “I love you too, dickwad. You’re like a brother to me.”
Romans clinks his glass to mine and takes another shot. I follow suit.
“But she—she don’t want me. You know? And my dumbass dog. He stole her food, and then he humped her mom. I think that pissed her off. It would’ve pissed me off. Then I thought I had her back. But then—daaaamn. A baby? That surprised the shit outta me. And I had to go help Jen. Now, well now—I’m just stupid.”
A thump on the back of my head makes the room sway and the ceiling spin. I look to my left and right. Wait. No. I look to my right and then my left. Or—ah, fuck it.
Wow. Look at all the shoes. Boots, sneakers, and girl shoes—whatever those’re called. There’s a red one. Not like Kelsey’s, but…reminds me of her and her legs. And her ass. And her sugar glider. And her sweet heart.
And that reminds me of the way she takes care of Clarissa. And how she stood up to that fuck-face she was married to. The way she looks at me, her blue eyes trusting and—
The world takes a spin around my head. I swipe at my eyes, trying to slow it down.
Rex’s face blurs in and out before clearing. “You all right?”
I give him a thumbs-up. “Course I am. Why are you way up there?”
He comes closer. “Because I’m not on the floor. You are.”
“Dude, if I crawl to her house on my hands and knees, do you think she’d take me back? If I vow my undying love and devotion? If I—”