So. Long(33)

Carter pats my chest. “Good man. Thank you.”

I push his arm away. “I ain’t talking about this again. You feel me? Now go the fuck to sleep.”

And he did go to sleep. Then, two days later…

I shake my head and wipe my nose with the back of my wrist.

Suck it up, Hardick. Suck it up and press on.

I hit the call button.

“Adam, it’s late. I almost thought you’d forgotten.” Jen’s smile comes through with her words.

I cough to clear the rest of my memories. “Me? Forget about you? No way in hell.”

She sighs. “You know, you don’t have to call on the first of every month. I’m doing all right. We’re all doing okay. Besides, we just talked three days ago.”

My chest tightens. “I told him I’d watch out for you. I made a promise. I’m not breaking it just because you say everything is fine. And I call on the first of the month because I want to make sure you’ve got everything you need for the month. Rent? Food? Shoes for the rug rats?”

She clears her throat. “Carter loved you so much, Adam. He was lucky to have you. I’m lucky—we’re lucky to have you. We have everything we need. Everything.”

The clamp on my lungs relaxes a bit. “So how’s Maddie’s tooth? Did it come out?”

She laughs. “Yeah, when Tucker accidentally head-butted her with his bike helmet.”

The image of little Maddie missing her front tooth brings a smile—even while I rub my eyes to clear the sting of unshed tears. Carter should’ve been here to see his little girl when she lost her first tooth.

I swallow the wad of regret and guilt trying to choke me. “At least it’s out. How did Ryan do at horse camp?”

“Ah. The horses. Yeah. That. Well, let’s just say that after a certain midnight ride, he may or may not be invited back next year. Thank you for sending the money for him to go. I wish it hadn’t been wasted by him being sent home early.”

I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “Did he have fun while he was there?”

Bickering kiddos in the background crank up the volume so she has to raise her voice. “He had a great time. Hold on, Adam. Hey, don’t tell your sister to shut up. And you two, stop it before I make you kiss and make up.”

Immediate peace falls on the other end of the line.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Jen’s got her mom-tone perfected. “Sorry about that. What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, Ryan and his truncated horse camp. He had loads of fun.”

“Then the money wasn’t wasted.”

“You’re too nice, you know?”

“Nah. I’m really not. I know Carter would’ve wanted someone to help you and the kids out.”

“And you do it well, thank you. So, we haven’t seen you since you moved into that house. The kids have been asking about you. Want to get together for an afternoon or something? Oh, and Maddie has a very important question she wants to ask you.”

My heart slugs along as I think of all Carter has missed—will miss—with his children. “Sure. Hey, there’s a community pool in my neighborhood. We can take the rug rats.”

“Yes. That’d be perfect. All right. Now that all of that is out of the way, tell me—how are you? Seeing anyone?”

My gut clenches. She asks me this same question every time we talk. And when she does, all I ever think is that I don’t deserve to see anyone, especially since Carter can’t see her.

“Adam, you there?”

“I’m here.”

“Aw. You are seeing someone! That’s so great.”

“No. No, I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You never hesitate like that. Who is she? What’s she like? What’s her name?”

I can almost see her grin.

“Calm your jets, woman. We’re not seeing each other. We aren’t doing anything.”

“But there is someone? Someone you like?”

I push my fingers through my hair.

Fuck.

“She’s my neighbor.”

“And?”

“And nothing. She went on a date tonight. With some guy she met through an online dating site.” My stomach churns just thinking about it.

I wait for Jen to comment, but silence is all I get.

After a solid minute and a half, I can’t take it. “Fine. I like her. A lot. I like her a lot, and she’s all dressed up in these hot, red heels for some shithead who isn’t worthy of her. But she doesn’t want to go out with me. Wants to be friends…thinks that’s what’s best. I honestly don’t even know if she likes me.”

“Well, you’ll have to change her mind.”