EIGHT
I hold my chin up as I head to the door. All eyes follow me as I try to ignore the sharp stab of pain shooting through my ankle with every step. It’s fine though; I’ve dealt with worse and pressed on.
So much for all that money for Aunt Delores. Damn it.
“Hey!” Lonnie’s voice halts me.
I turn, avoiding looking at Buck or his gang. I raise an eyebrow to Lonnie, letting him know I’m listening.
“You come on back when that feels better.” He looks to Buck, though he’s still speaking to me. “I might give you that job. Of course, to make sure you can deliver a performance worthy of this fine establishment, I’ll need you to give me a lap dance in the private room.”
Without hesitating—not even a heartbeat—Buck jerks, and the butt of the gun sinks into Lonnie’s potbelly, air rushing out of his repulsive mouth with a grunt. He grabs his stomach, doubling over, but his eyes find mine as he grins anyway.
Just like in high school, disgust slinks over my skin. I turn away and drag my gimpy ass outside.
I throw the car into drive as Sadie and Buck spill out of the doors. I fishtail out of the parking lot, humiliation following like a demon from hell. Might as well serve me up on a platter for the entire world to laugh at once again.
Why the hell did I do this to myself? Frustration wells up, and I bang on the steering wheel with the flat of my hand as I hit the gas.
I adjust the ice pack on my ankle, propping it on the chair across from me. I swipe at the mosquito buzzing in my ear as I lean back in the broke-ass lawn chair that Uncle Manny probably meant to fix but never did.
The leaves quiver in the gentle wind, the light long ago faded behind them. I turn on the lamp at my side as crickets and frogs crank up the volume.
I heave a sigh. I lied to Aunt Delores yesterday evening, something I haven’t done since the day we met. But it’s for the best. She’d be disappointed and lecture me about how she can take care of her own business.
I don’t want her to have to do this shit alone. She needs help, and no one in her family is doing anything. So, I will.
Lacing my fingers behind my head, I settle deeper into the chair. The stars try to be seen through the canopy of trees overhead. But, like me, they just don’t shine bright enough to really get anyone’s attention here in the backwoods. They have to go somewhere else to be noticed and appreciated.
I sit up straight when there’s a creak on the steps leading up to the back deck. It’s only one in the morning on Saturday, so it can’t be Sadie. She’s not off work yet. Aunt Delores is already upstairs. I stand, still not putting my full weight on my left foot.
When Buck’s head clears the bottom step, I drop back into my seat. “Do you always lurk around your neighbors’ houses at night?”
He comes into my circle of light, a slight grin showing in his dimples. “Only yours.”
I expel a heavy breath. “What do you want? I had enough of you yesterday.”
He shakes his head. “I couldn’t help myself. Seeing you on that stage, it—surprised me. It was pure reaction. What the hell were you doing? You’ve never been the kind of girl who’d take her clothes off for a living.”
“You have no idea what kind of girl I am now, Buck. It’s been five fucking years. A lot can happen to change a person in that length of time. And it’s none of your damned business what I do. You gave up that right, remember?”
He runs a hand over his face and through his hair. It’s something I’ve seen him do a thousand times when he doesn’t know what to say.
Good. There’s nothing he can say.
He sits in the chair that I had my foot on. The tail of his shirt hangs out, the buttons undone. His muscular chest and abs are cast in odd shadows from the yellow glow of my lamp.
I avert my gaze. There’s no sense in letting my body betray me again. It’s as though it has a separate memory than I have of what happened between Buck and me. My body only recalls the touch, the heat, the adrenaline rush. It’s my heart that remembers the hurt—the rending of my soul from its moorings.
But man, oh man, the pleasure he brought. His touch took me to a different place and wiped away all the bad in my life. And that last time, which was really the first time…the only time…
Buck closed the door and locked it. “Just in case.”
I threw myself into his arms before he could even get to the bed. Excitement thrummed through me, right alongside the dread lurking behind my spine, waiting for its chance to make a move and steal my moment of happiness.
I shoved my hands under his shirt as he smiled down on me. I tried to memorize every contour, every dip and rise of the defined muscles of his back that played beneath my fingers.