The machine is intimidating with all the buttons and other parts I don’t understand. “How on Earth will you see anything this early?”
She pats my hand. “The heartbeat is usually visible sometime between six and seven weeks. How far along are you?”
I shrug. “I’m not sure. I just took the pregnancy test a few days ago.”
Danny stands by the head of the bed as the woman exposes my belly and squirts warm gel on it.
I hold tight to Danny’s hand. He stares into my eyes.
He leans down and whispers, “I love you, Mo. Baby or not, that doesn’t change. If we never have our own kids, I’ll still love you. I’ll still want you. Forever.”
I squeeze his hand. “I lo—”
The door opens and another woman in scrubs comes in. She tucks a chart under her arm. “Hi. I’m Dr. Fanning. And you must be Mona Lisa.”
I nod, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth.
“All right. Let’s see what we’ve got.”
The tech continues moving the wand around while both of them study the screen.
The sonographer rubs the hand piece over my abdomen. Distorted images sweep across the screen. She types something and uses the roller ball, pausing to click here and there. Then she stops and pushes deeper into my belly, toggling the sensor.
“Ah. There it is.” Dr. Fanning smiles.
I swallow hard. “There’s what?”
Danny tightens his grip and moves his other hand to my nape, massaging gently.
The doctor points to a dark patch on the screen. “Here’s the sac.”
Dr. Fanning takes the hand piece from the other woman and presses it further down. A little white blip pulses in the black spot. “And that, my friends, is a heartbeat.”
My heart skips. “Really? So she’s okay?”
“Well, there are never any guarantees. But for now, the heartbeat looks strong and regular.”
Danny kisses the top of my head.
I ask, “But what about the blood? Doesn’t that mean something’s wrong?”
“It’s very hard to say this early. Some women spot. Others have been known to have what seems like a normal period during early pregnancy. Take it easy and see an OB to monitor things. Get regular prenatal care. But, for now, you’re still pregnant. Congratulations.”
I press my knuckles to my mouth, tears threatening again. Happy tears.
Back in the curtained space, Danny and I wait for the discharge papers. Rachel and Slade left a few minutes ago. I change into my clean clothes and sit next to Danny on the side of the bed.
He slides his arm around me. “So. We’re having a baby.”
His eyes hold my gaze as I nod. He lays his mouth against mine, kissing me fiercely.
When we break, I pull away. “I have to tell you something.”
His expression falls. “Okay. Go ahead.”
I run my fingers over his chest. “I’m scared, more than I’ve ever been in my life.”
Danny takes my hands and kisses them. “Me too. But I’m happy as fuck, Mo.”
“You have to know, I’m not trying to trap you. Or to make you stay with me. I don’t want you to feel that way.”
He shakes his head. “Aw, Babe. No. I don’t feel like that. I’ve wanted this. From the moment I thought it was a possibility, I’ve wanted it.”
The ache in my chest intensifies, but this has to be said. “You can still be this baby’s daddy, but you don’t have to be with me, if you don’t want to. I—I don’t want us to be together because of a baby.”
He rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Are you shitting me? Mo, I’ve loved you for so long. You have no idea. There’s nothing in the world I want more than you. Nothing.”
The pressure in my lungs eases a fraction and I let out the breath I’ve been holding. “Only if you’re sure.”
Danny slides to his knee in front of me. He lays his head in my lap and wraps his arms around my lower back. Then he looks up, his dimples showing, eyes shining. “I don’t have a ring yet, but Mona Lisa Clark, will you do me the honor of—”
Shit! My hand darts out and covers his mouth. “No. Don’t. Don’t do that. Not now.”
He pulls away and stands. “What? Why? You don’t want to marry me?”
I chew my thumbnail. How do I make him understand?
His shoulders droop and he plops down next to me. “I’m sorry. I hoped…”
“I’m not saying I won’t marry you. Or even that I don’t want to, Danny. I just...let’s make sure, you know? I want to be certain you and I will work. Right now, I’m scared. Let me be less scared when I make this decision. Okay?”
He nods and his eyes brighten once more. “Okay. But I’m not going to stop asking. I’m going to ask every day until you agree to be my wife.”