“Hard to be prepared if you’re waiting,” Kate said, shifting her gaze back to the cool, blue ocean. On the other hand there was just no preparing for Sean Ryan. He was like a force of nature, blowing into her life and turning it all upside down.
“Kate, do yourself a favor,” Molly said softly. “Just enjoy where you are while you’re there. Stop worrying about what might happen before it does.”
Good advice, Kate thought a few minutes later when she hung up. She just didn’t know if she could follow it or not. Worry was simply a part of who she was. As a kid, after her mother’s death, she’d worried that her father would die, too. She’d insisted on going with him to job sites whenever she wasn’t in school, just to keep an eye on him. Later, she’d worried about classes and worried when she married Sam that something would go wrong to ruin their happiness.
That time, she’d been right.
So how could she stop worrying about the possibility of losing her child?
“Kate? You here?”
She stood up and turned to see Sean striding into the condo. For one split second, she did exactly as Molly had advised and simply enjoyed the view. His hair was still damp, his jaw shadowed with whiskers. He had a cherry-red surfboard tucked under his left arm and the wetsuit he wore had been pulled down to his waist, leaving his arms and chest bare.
Heat erupted so fast, so completely, it stole her breath. Kate dragged in a gulp of air and forced herself to lift her gaze from his chest to meet his eyes. Once she did, she saw a flash of recognition shining there, and she knew that he was aware of what she’d been feeling.
But how could he be, she wondered, when she’d just that second realized she was in love with him?
She swayed a little as the knowledge settled into her brain to stay. Kate had been fighting her own emotions for too long. She had tried to ignore them, pretend that all she felt for Sean was the closeness associated with a lover—and the father of her child. She’d even tried to ignore the feelings altogether and when that didn’t work, she’d lied to herself about the truth that was even now slamming home.
She couldn’t be in love with a man in the position to take everything she cared about away from her. Couldn’t give him even more power over her than he already had. Panic settled into the pit of her stomach, and she swallowed hard. After Sam, she’d vowed to never love again. To never put herself in a position to experience the pain of loss again. But it seemed that life happened even when you tried to avoid it.
“Hey!” Sean dropped the surfboard with a clatter and crossed to her in a blink. Holding on to her arms and looking into her eyes, he asked, “Are you okay? Your face just went snow-white. Is it the baby?”
He smelled so good was all she could think. But she managed to tie a rope around a single active brain cell, then dragged it around until it collected enough friends that she could speak again.
“I’m fine.” His eyes shone with worry. “Really. I’m fine. So’s the baby.” She changed the subject quickly before he could grab her and rush her off to a doctor or something. “Did you have a good time?”
“Waves weren’t much, but it was good to be out there again.” He shrugged, then reached up and ran both hands through his hair. His muscled chest rippled until Kate wanted nothing more than to stroke her palms across it. Deliberately, she curled her hands into fists.
“I’m going to grab a fast shower,” Sean said into the silence. “Then we’ll head over to the office.”
“Okay.” She didn’t want to think about him in the shower and wondered if he’d planted that image in her brain on purpose. But the way he walked out of the room, easily dismissing her, sort of shot down that theory.
So what was he up to? What was his plan?
* * *
Sean didn’t have a plan.
He was still thinking about the fact that Kate had been someone’s wife and hadn’t told him. What the hell was that about? He’d seen the look in her eye this morning when he got home from the beach. Passion. Desire. Need. It was all there, easily enough read in spite of her attempts to hide it. But damn if he’d be a substitute for her dead husband. It had taken every ounce of self-control he had to keep from stalking across the room and grabbing her. Then she’d gone so white, anger had been swamped by a flood of panic.
He was keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn’t do that again. And once Sean was sure she was okay, he would need some answers.
He watched her working with the art department and heard the deep, rich music of her laughter at something Dave said. She flipped her long, loose hair back and bent over Dave’s shoulder as he made notations on a computer.
“Does she have to get that close?” he muttered.
“I like her.”
Sean shot his brother a sour look, not pleased that he’d been so focused on Kate that Mike had been able to sneak up on him.
“Yeah, she’s good. Did you see how quickly she picked up on the ideas for different rooflines on the cabins? I liked how she tweaked them, too, so each cabin will have a different look and style.”
“I noticed,” Mike said, giving his brother a shoulder bump, “but I wasn’t talking about her work. I like her. She’s nice. Funny. Pretty, too.”
Sean rolled his eyes. Mike wasn’t exactly subtle. “She is. Kate and Jenny seem to have hit it off.”
Mike nodded and watched his wife join Kate and Dave at the computer. All three of them were talking over each other to the point where Sean had to wonder how they could get anything done. His gaze fixed on Kate, in her black slacks and the tight, short-sleeved yellow shirt that defined and displayed her rounded belly. Something inside him stirred, a sense of protectiveness, possession, that surprised him with its depth. And there was something else there, as well. It wasn’t just the baby he wanted, it was Kate.
“You’re staring,” Mike murmured.
“What?” Sean shot him a quick look. “The only way you would know that is because you’re watching me. Cut it out. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Nope, the beauty of being a boss. I can be wherever I want to be. And right now, I want to watch my brother drool over a pregnant woman.” Mike grinned when Sean turned his head to stare at him. “Something you’d like to tell the class?”
Sean jerked his head then walked off, knowing his brother would follow. Once in Mike’s office with the door closed, Sean paced, hands in his pockets, too restless to stand still.
“So? It’s your baby, isn’t it?”
Sean stopped, took a breath and looked at Mike. “Yeah, it is. She is.”
“A daughter?” Mike grinned widely. “That’s excellent. Congratulations. We find out our baby’s sex tomorrow.”
Sean nodded, knowing just how excited Mike was about the baby Jenny was carrying. They’d made a family, they were building a future. Right now, all Sean had was the knowledge that he would be a father. He’d never really been one to look into the future. He was more of a right-now kind of guy. But a lot was changing in his life lately.
“That’s great, Mike,” he said, dragging one hand through his hair. “Really.”
“Yeah, it is.” Mike walked across the room and sat on the edge of his desk. “What’s going on, Sean?”
“Oh,” he said, snorting a laugh, “not much. I just found out I’m going to be a father. The woman carrying my kid wants nothing to do with me, and did I mention she used to be married but her sainted husband died two years ago?”
“Whoa. That’s a lot.”
“You think?” Sean dropped into a chair, stretched his legs out in front of him and folded his hands on his abdomen. “It bugs the hell out of me that she didn’t tell me she was married before.” He shook his head. “I mean, sure we haven’t known each other long and she really didn’t have a reason to tell me, but why didn’t she? Hell, I don’t even know why it bugs me so much.”
“Don’t you?” Mike asked.
“Is she still in love with the dead guy, Mike?”
“I don’t know,” his brother said thoughtfully. “Why don’t you ask her?”
“Because she should have told me about Saint Sam,” he snapped. This had been gnawing on his gut since Kate’s dad told him about her marriage and how it had ended. He’d been biting his tongue for days to keep from saying something because damn it he wanted her to tell him. But it was looking like that wasn’t going to happen, so he’d have to do something to end this. Did she kiss him and think of Sam? Because Sean wasn’t going to stand for that.
“Look,” Mike said, “you gave me some good advice not long ago when Jenny was making me crazy—”
“Not the same thing,” Sean said, cutting off his brother. Mike had been in love with Jenny. Sean was in lust with Kate. Big difference.
“Right.” Mike shook his head impatiently. “Anyway, the point is, you told me I should talk to her, get everything out, and you were right. Why don’t you take your own advice? Talk to her, Sean. For God’s sake, you’re having a baby together. Maybe you should work some of this stuff out?”