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Snow Like Ashes(113)

By:Sara Raasch


“I don’t think Angra died,” I whisper, a sad sound on the chill air. “And his magic … it’s worse than we thought. Much worse.”

Sir doesn’t say anything, and for a moment I think maybe my voice got sucked away on the wind. I look at him and he wears that same impenetrable expression he got when I returned from Lynia with the locket half. Scared and determined, like he’s staring down the future and doesn’t have room to fear the past.

I touch the locket at my neck. It’s whole now. Whole and empty, powerless, but touching it gives me a strange calm. Just like that lapis lazuli stone. Just like hope. The Winterians around me think the power is now safely back in the locket—they think all the times I used it were what Mather told me, a fluke. A desperate surge brought on by how far we had fallen. It doesn’t occur to them that the magic could be anywhere else now, and I’m not sure I want to correct them.

Not just them, though—Cordell too. Noam especially.

“One thing at a time,” Sir says. His eyes meet mine and for a breath he shows me how tired he is, how scared. “We’ll handle the future one thing at a time.”

I start to nod when horses gallop through the still-running Winterians and canter to a halt beside us. Theron and Noam shiver in their saddles, eyes darting between Jannuari, Sir, and me. Noam at least tries to look dignified in his coldness while Theron wraps his arms around himself and lets his teeth clack together like hooves on the plain. Mather pulls his horse between mine and Theron’s, an eyebrow lifted as he assesses our nearly frozen foreign guests.

“Tell me there’s a cloak shop somewhere in there,” Theron says, a shiver making him twitch awkwardly on his horse.

Mather laughs, a sharp and beautiful sound that I haven’t heard in years. He’s been smiling a little more each day, that beautiful, full-face smile that makes everything around him light up. “Poor Cordellan prince. Can’t handle a little chill?”

“A little chill?” Theron squeaks. He motions at the army, the Cordellans looking just as frozen and uncomfortable as their leaders. “We’re going to have nothing but soldier-icicles by the end of this. My father sneezed earlier and it froze in midair!”

I giggle from my horse and Theron glances at me. The look in his eyes shifts from lighthearted laughter to something deeper, something lingering from our anxious kiss in the halls of Angra’s palace.

Mather adjusts on his horse between us, his jaw setting. I tear my eyes away from Theron as a slow grin spreads across my face, and I want to laugh at the absurdity of this situation. Normal problems. Normal worries about suitors. It’s what Sir wanted all along, wasn’t it? And after everything … normal problems feel wonderful.

Noam grunts on the other side of his son but doesn’t say anything. Whether it’s because he has nothing to say or his lips have frozen shut, I can’t tell. We’ve yet to discuss the marriage arrangement, whether a Rhythm still wants to ally his son to a Season, or if Winter’s growing debt to Cordell is enough of a connection. He started to ask me a few days ago, when we were resting between raids on work camps. Noam stretched out his hand to shake mine and when our skin touched, I saw again the vibrant image of him kneeling at his wife’s bedside. A connection that comes from the fact that I’m a conduit myself—a connection the other Royal Conduit–bearers must not be aware of, except for Angra, and only because he used the Decay. Noam must think I’m just a weak, unstable queen who trembles when she touches him.

I think he needs to believe that, though. It’s better if he underestimates me, if he has no idea about my true power. An extra boost in Winter’s favor when he does decide to collect on all he’s given us.

“If you’re done bickering about the chill,” Sir cuts in, “I believe we have introductions to make.”

He meets my eyes, beams, and kicks his horse to a gallop, hooves tearing up clumps of melted snow as he darts between the running Winterians. Theron and Noam plunge after him, weaving in and out of my running white-haired people toward a city many of us don’t remember. Only Mather lingers, his breaths releasing bursts of icy clouds between us, his eyes on me as I watch everyone around us.

“I’m sorry,” I exhale.

Mather’s horse dances on the snow, disturbed by our tension. I peel my gaze away from the running horde to meet Mather’s sapphire eyes for more than a passing glance. It’s the longest either of us has looked at each other since the battle in Abril, and the gaze is heavy with apology.

He snorts air out his nose in a soft, incredulous laugh. “Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” His focus sweeps over the city ahead of us. “At all.”